The AznGeek

Posted by psych at January 15th, 2007

Again. After so many weeks. Thought she left for good. Nah ’she’ is not some innanimate object which i name at the end of the post. Not a cookie. Not a fire hydrant, car, laptop, whatever. Its a girl. Made of flesh and skin =)
I like cute things. Cute as in chubby-and-adorable or whatever it is now. People find it unusual.. but its not a sexual attraction. More like a younger sister kinda adorableness you want .. your younger sister or good friend to possess. Nice start. Update in points coming up.
-Only three classes now so i get to chill for most of the day with brunch with friends at like 10 something. Swwweeeeet.

-Trump and the gay woman are/were at odds with each other. Just found out. Im not a huge Trump fan but I kinda hate her. Just because she scares me. I hate things that scare me. Evil Demon Clowns included.

-My Zen Vision Is not Here Yet. Its been 20 days since Christmas. Need to drive to KL to get cousin to give me my precious….

- Rice is in the Arab region promoting peace. Hope it works. Pardon me if I don’t hold my breath.

- Scary JuOn Blue Kidlike person was staring at me in the Train Station. Moved away from him.

-Totally forgot about making resolutions and stuff. So im just gonna settle with get into a good, stable, and potentially awesome relationship. Treat people around me better. Try daily wear contacts. They maketh me curious.

-A random lecturer told me my accent wasn’t Malaysian. What exactly does a Malaysian sound like? o0… People who havent lived here long enough should make comments like that.

I’m all out.

PS- Try to save resources. OK? Paper, water, waste etc. Itll make a difference. As if you didnt know already. If Mother Earth could bitch in a blog, what a blog it would be.

Its JON here btw. Not TIM. Thanks for reading.

pSyCh

Posted by psych at December 30th, 2006

Im gonna take a break typing about my life. Back to my inner thoughts on how the universe should work. How life has been unfair to me. How my Zen Vision died on me the second I laid my hands on it. Creative Sucks. No wall charger, (hmm.. right name?), just the dumbass usb one. 6 hours of charging. Battery low. Shiny shiny black Zen -> Dead Zen = Useless Zen.

Ok. Nuff of that. So many hot people in Singapore. People of both genders are hot there. Not like thailand where only the girls.. er and maybe some ladyboys are hot. So many modelly people there. Lotsa Hot Chinese People. Lots of hot white/eurasian people. Lots of hot Malay people (ok not that many but way more than here anyway) Whats wrong with us Malaysians, Vision 2020 my ass. If we can’t get more hot people in here we will NEVER be developed. I mean Europe’s full of hot ppl. And They’re Developed. Africa.. Er not so many hot people imo. And.. Not developed. Patterns are forming in my maturing brain. What we need… are more plastic surgeons. Thats what China’s up to i think. More plastic surgeons = more hot people = Developed Nation.

Back to the universe. I think its going off balance a little. All the wars. Reading about wars when you’re young make them seem like things long gone like the titanic or well, WW2. They are kinda like horror histories about how stupid people were and how many people died due to the stupidity of a select few. But hey guess what, its happening again. In Africa, and of course, in the middle east. Guess humans dont learn from history after all. People are still dying. But it’s weird how your grandkids will be asking you about what you were doing while the war was going on and stuff. You’ll just go.. “Er.. I just saw a few clips in the news about it.” “I think America won the war” or “Oh, I was busy shopping ’cause i was a teen in the 2000’s, therefore those were times of many sales and gadget/clothes/stuff-buying.” Anyway the war’s bigger than many people think. I think that was my point.” I hope my grandkids are smart enough to know that if the war wasnt anywhere that affected me personally, I wouldnt really care. That sounds really really selfish or ignorant but it makes sense to me. I’ve got other things to worry about. Like girls.

*skip this is you dont wanna read about the most awesome girl in the world*

On to girls. I miss Y. Who doesnt know this site. I think. Thats why Im using her name. Damn it Haha. I changed it to Y. For the record I actually typed out her full name out there. Doesnt matter anyway. The only girl who made me cry. Deep inside. Well not cry like a girl. She made me cry like a guy. Hard, masculine tears meant to bury her memory deep inside my thoughts. Bury her in all the pain until i just start to forget it. And her along with it. Well.. I think it didnt work. I cannot move on. Damn. Haha. Its not her fault. Well it is coz shes so damn perfect that I cant go for anyone else but its mostly mine. Hey, Im messed up. Like most people. But Cmon its been such a freakin long time. I need to find some awesome girl who can make me forget. I’ll find her. If its the last thing.. [See I ended with a positive, moralboosting note =)]
*************************************************

A week without warcraft saw me dreaming about playing it. Then waking up dissapointed. Happened once and freaked me out. I love it. It loves me. It makes me happy. I wanna marry it. Have baby warcrafts. Make a warcraft family. Buy them a big house. Watch them grow up. Then maybe get it on with a Diablo 3 on the side. then when warcraft finds out, it uses my money and goes to a plastic surgeon to add on more expansions and new maps. BIG BIG MAPS. Bouncy maps. \ /. Er.. but ill divorce it. But its already used up so much of my cash that my darn pc cant support diablo 3. so i lose that too. all im left with is…. o0. OMGGG G33K TALK. IM G33k TALKING.

Er.. fo shizzle ma nizzle.

have fun lives invisible people

pSyCh

Posted by psych at November 30th, 2006

Looks like the Geek has been a lazy boy… In need of some spanking to keep up with the postings etc. Heheh. Anyway, I think I may have f’ed up my maths paper. My Final Maths Paper. Doubting about 4 of your answers can’t be a good sign. Its like having come out of surgery (as a surgeon) and thinking… ‘Did I leave the sponge in?’. Well, unlike that dumbass surgeon, I CANT GO BACK AND UNSTITCH THAT DARN WOUND AND TAKE THE DARN SPONGE OUT. Its there. Forever. If the patient gets on ok, good. If not, he dies. Too bad. Its my fault for not taking it out (aka studying more) in the first place. I blame this partially on my less than average maths teacher. Where do I get off comparing myself to a surgeon anyway?

Last day of exams tomorrow. World Issues. One of the best subjects I will ever take. Tucked somewhere underneath chemistry. and moral. Sigh. I miss Mr Teoh. And his challenges. His weird weird weird weird challenges. And his fondness of students.. Fondness.. He and his penchant for giving people advice and not giving any notes.

I lost a few kgs. I’ve been eating like crazy lately. So it doesnt make sense. Fat rice the other day. some vietnamese thing today. and tons of pork mee for god knows how long. that oily indian thing.. like a big.. fluffy, oily ball of hot air of which spelling i have difficulty with. All that = fat fat fat.. starch and stuff. salt, sugar, oil. That + no exercise = weight gain. Then again muscle is heavier than fat. so the fact that i lost so little means that i almost gained back the weight i lost in muscle with fat. I hate the human body. It confuses me. Even though I’ve owned one my whole life. I only recently started to understand the more.. intricate details of the human anatomy.Thank you SuperSizeMe. Thanks for letting me know Exactly how I am killing myself. Heck, Im proud of myself.. Cant remember the last time those vile fries from hell touched my lips. A few months.?
Did you know that for some reason your eyes close the moment you sneeze. Doesnt make much sense.. Its like if the pressure in you nose is reduced in a second by A Lot, inward pressure would force your eyes through your nostrils.. Closed eyelids prevent the pressure from affecting your eyes much.. right?

Speaking of updates, was meaning to post this for quite some time. Gay Scary Pervert of a Hairdresser posted a ROOM TO LET sign. Needless to say, dont go. Didnt check it out properly but if i remember correctly it says STUDENTS underneath. Kid you not. Lots of students there. Makes sense. Easy prey. Damn.

Greys Anatomy is really really really ggood. Its like Scrubs. But with slightly ,more hotness and more blood. LMAO. yea alot more. Saw an ad about it in singapore a long time ago. didnt really care about it. If youre like me when i was stupid. Watch a few episodes. No regrets here so far. LOST lost me halfway through season 2 after it hooked me at S1. GA still rocks. Izzies hot. And Merediths raspy voice is so goddamned unimaginably Sexy. Raspy made it sound disgusting. like an old woman or something. Its not. Its like.. hot raspy.. like argh.. hot. The acting is good. Story is good. A nice grownup show. for grownups =) No wonder im using surgeons in my metaphors. Theyre invading our tvs =) and i likem.

Meredith. ZOMGNESS
Izzie,the Model > Surgeon

Anozah one. Sigh. I need more. I like putting pics in. They r teh colourful. Like butterflies. Like.. Awesomeness. I think im done for the week. Sigh. This post has weird dimensions. Hope it doesnt blow up the page
Anyways, thanks being my slave{s} for the past few minutes [unless you *yes you* just skipped past the words to see the pics.] Shame on you. May the gay hairguy from SS ()*&) you in your dreams. Muahaha. Er.. No. Not that. Im just rambling. As usual. Sigh. Getting Vampire the masquerade bloodlines again. yea i know. Long name. Good game. Replay value is up the roof. Like Warcraft. Lmao. Titan Quest Sucks Donkey Dick. Its great for the first few countries. Then it just spirals down to nothingness. Disappointed me real bad. Multiplayer wouldve been great if not for the random lags. Sigh. Guess Blizzard DOES rule. Diablo 3. Id pay alot of moolah for you. Come soon. Please. Thanks.

Til nx tm,

pSyCh

Posted by psych at November 4th, 2006

After a long break, Ill give you a good one. A long one, not particularly good, but its good enough for ya. I wont be posting until my exams are over and after comingi back from langkawi. so ill be back in december =) haha. I think… Azn should b back by then so dont stop comin. Here it goes:
OMFG. I think I’m a geek. I never did until recently. Just for fun, I listed out my most geekiest qualities vs my most ungeekiest (akin to what Ross did with Rachel and Julie). I think I just almost quoted from Friends. Meh, nothing wrong there. Btw, you can use the points below to see if you are a geek. You probably are.

1. I reformat drives (mostly sis’ friends) . AND THEN CHARGE THEM FOR IT! Cause its cheaper than going to the shop to do it. RM50 per job. RM70 for laptops. The mark of a cunning geek. I dont charge friends tho. But that doesnt mean you should call me everytime you need to reformat =) Friends, I do for free.
   I do my friends for free. Haha.I’ll do you for free.. but only if youre my friend. If youre my friend, let me do you..
   Its getting old. Ill stop now.
2. I know much more about computers than I should. But not as much as alot of people do. Like programming.. Im all like WTTFFF are those characters etc.. Does a geek need to know some programming to be considered a geek? I actually thought that mostly everyone knew how to do things like fix in some RAM, or a gfx card, or a drive, or a processor etc. etc. It never really occured to me that many people are freaked out about touching stuff in there. Touch me there… No.. Im scared to.. What? Seriously? I never thought that was possible! Lmao, I guess you learn new things every day. So.. You want me to touch you there? Yes, please.. Ok.. Omg.. It feels so good. I guess I’m a geek now! *one of the things talking there is a pc if you didnt notice*
3. My head swims with pleasure when I look at hot modded casings. i think some people still call them CPU’s. I used to until I learned what those were =). If you still do, please stop. It has alot of names.. Chassis? Like cars I guess. Anyway, the cool ones make me feel good. Almost as good as a nice looking girl.

Right. Now for the ungeeko list. Which I had to concentrate to make btw..

1. I’m crap with alot of computer thingys. Networking, er, Case modding, overclocking, and i dont keep up with anything new. The last updated review on processors i read was the p4EE i think. Is it EE? extreme edition i htink. But duh i know about the duo core. Just havent bothered to look it up to see how it compares with the others. Slong as its new, and has a cool name, i think its good enough.
2. Same with Graphics cards. Got myself a cheap 6200 cos it was.. well cheap. Didnt bother to look for reviews and stuff. Yep, ive gotten very weird. It was convenient to just buy it and not worry about how itll run weird games like FEAR (which i kinda got bored with). Oh and if FEAR is not a good way to test your card now, that just shows how out of touch i am. At leat i didnt say halo right? or dungeon keeper? DK Is a Great Game. If only I were In Primary School Again Playing It For The First Time. That Afternoon was the Best One Ever.
3. Try as I might, I dont identify with any true blue self declared geeks. (AznGeeks probably the only one =) ) After all, they make fun of you for not knowing the difference between c++ and java. They laugh when you say you dont remember what gfx card youre using because they all have like ATI XX999(i think that doesnt exist) cards or Nvidia 9990GTXXXX cards. They kick you when you say you dont care about AMD or Intel, and they hit you when you tell them that you have under 150GB of hd space. Haha.

Nah. nothing like that has ever happened. I mean I only know one guy right now in college who actually considers himself a geek. The mind is a powerful tool to invent ways for geeks to torment you. I dont like talking about computer stuff cos i dont know much and dont really want to know any more. On the other hand, my other friends dont know the difference between the bios and the motherboard (roflmao hahaahahahahahaha). -_-

Its almost like being a bisexual in the midst of straight people (my regular friends) and gay people (the geek) (btw i made the geek gay cos i think there are less of them so the ratio is more appropriate.) Azngeek can be gay too. See, its like, choose one, and hear about how someone paid 100 bucks for the mahai guy at the pc shop to reformat his pc or go to the other side and hear about how the new GTS920XX-T2 motherboard has a new twin PCIExpress slot to double the graphics processing power of your system or how the new CreativeSoundBlasterAudigyPrimeContraPrime 9.1 soundcard sounds awesome on their 10 speaker configuration. I like hearing both. So its like having the best of both worlds, but never actually being IN any of those worlds.

Haha. Long rant. Most of it was just me exagerrating but as usual there is some truth*out there* in there. On a totally different note,

BEWARE OF THE GAY HAIRDRESSER IN SUBANG SQUARE.

Just a random community message, from your friendly neighbourhood
pSyCh.

Have a good weekend. And dont forget to disinfect after youre done. Cya in a month or so.

Posted by psych at October 18th, 2006

Pulled some tendon thingy in my neck… Woke up to find my head hanging off my bed. Moving it hurt like hell. I look slightly retarded now cos I have to turn my whole body around while keeping my head extremely straight when talking to someone on my right. It’s become second nature. I’m not whining. I know its not a big deal. I’m not gonna start parking in those disabled spots. I doubt Ill be driving much until I can actually turn my head. Count dota out too. Any free time I have will have to be spent in the library. Studying. I require large amounts of creening my neck over so I can shout/talk to someone a few comps over while I cyber (NOT SEX!!!)

Did that get your attention? Or did you just skim past the sex part and came right here…?

Now on to the good stuff. Something extremely important. Its even more important than nature and the environment =) Not. You know theres nothing more important than trees.. and the ocean.. and the birds.. and the bees.. Pun intended 100%

So it seems that Rice just reaffirmed that the US WILL DEFEND JAPAN AGAINST NORTH KOREA AT ALL COSTS!!

Thats basically like saying dont build weapons to protect yourself because we are scared you might use it against us someday. Btw, you dont really need them because we have em and are willing to test them when you are attacked =DDD

That was just a cheap shot at the US. I prefer them to NK anyday. Maybe China will join in the nuclear barrage once N.Korea lets loose? Japan will be left… well pretty much how the US left them some time ago.. What a twist. Who woulda thunk it? Can you imagine what would happen after the North bombs the South? First of all the NK citizens (who are wholly retarded and not deserving of any symphaty whatsoever) will be informed by the government that THE WORLD IS OUT TO GET US!!!! SOUTH KOREA BOMBED US!! JAPAN BOMBED US!!  USA BOMBED US!! WE MUST FIGHT!! OR DIE!!!

The people will stand firm by their country while the US and maybe Europe? opens a large can of whoopass on them. Btw, the people are not to blame. They know no better. Theyre just unlucky enough to be born a few km north. Damn that northern wind..

Dont mind the verbalized thoughts up there. Just typing as fast as my brain thinks. Therefore, as usual, they are not fact checked and not thought fully through. But reflect my personal feeling about that issue. MY NECK HURTS LIKE A BITCH!!!! OMG ITS BAD. I wanna rest my head on someones shoulders. But itll hurt too much. There I go again. Ill stop before I type something embarassing. I still like Barney. I never stopped loving him/it!

Cheers.

pSyCh

Posted by psych at October 7th, 2006

I’d hate to be a sissy and quote a chick flick… but seriously, aren’t some chick flicks poignant in their own special way? Like the above title for example.. interesting humour (My first exposure to sex in the cinema -_-) and interesting characters with an somewhat cliched, predictable plot. Who are you kidding? If you wanted a heart and thought-provoking movie/show you would’ve instead opted for.. say Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind, Six Feet Under (Its Awesome. I Am Going To Rant About This One Day And NoOne Can Stop Me), The Virgin Suicides, American Beauty[zomg], Dead Poet’s Society etc etc you get me.

Chick Flicks are fun shows you watch with female(s). However, dont let that statement discourage you from watching it with your.. guy friends. They won’t make you bat for the other team. I think I can vouch for that. Never tried it though. You’ll never know…

Anyways i found the cd a few days ago and rewatched it. The endish part where she states the ten things she hates about the dude never really clicked with me before.. keep in mind that I watched it when i was young.. before high school. Anyway, having grown up a little. It kinda made sense. Every word seemed critical enough to make a point. Every single thing she said made perfect sense even though it used to sound like crap that rhymed.

I hate the way you talk to me
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick.
It even makes me rhyme.
I hate it...
I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh;
Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call,
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you;
Not even close;
Not even a little bit;
Not even at all.

*tear* ZOMG OPRAH MOMENT!!

Its just that good. Like jigsaw puzzle pieces.. fitting together. Most of those lines minus the combat boots etc feel right at home to me. Feel the same? You must be growing up too. Have A Nice Weekend.

pSyCh

Posted by psych at September 10th, 2006

We watched a video in my English class. To Kill A Mockingbird. We’re studying the book. Its a really old movie based on the… wait for it…… wait for it….. the book. -_-

Anyway, like I was saying it is really really old but still managed to evoke something in me. Like a tiny prick you get on your finger when you use one of those blood testing thingys. It was almost unnoticable.. but you know there is a hole in your finger (cos duh theres blood coming out). In this case I knew that the movie affected me in some way no matter how small. We… all know the story right? Right….?

Scout Finch = Whiny, Annoying Little .. Runt = Narrator+Main Charactor = Daughter of Atticus Finch
Atticus Finch = Lawyer Guy
Lawyer defends black man
Black man accused of raping white girl
White girl is a wreck and can’t get story straight
It’s obvious that black man = innocent man
Black man is found guilty
Black man dies
More stuff happens.

Thats the gist of it. Its pretty much mostly just a book where you can transport yourself back to the south in America way back then. Its … how a girl grows up and realizes the (ugly) truth about alot of people. It places importance in the innocence of children. Blah… blah. Just try and read it if you get the chance. It might not have the appeal of Harry Potter(why is that the king of comparisons nowadays? Damn you Rowling) but the issues are real and interesting enough to keep you reading.

I’m wondering why I typed that out. I think its cos its good stuff.
Really?
Yea, I guess.. I mean its interesting and poignant to todays society.
C’mon man, dont feed me and them that crap. Its plain ol’ filler and you know it.
Darn you. Don’t tell me what I should or shouldn’t type.
Hey, man.. I’m just trying to help.
Well, you’re really not helping. I’m actually thinking of getting rid of it now.
Then do it. What’s holding you back?
Shut up. I need to think.
No. You need a shrink.
………
………
Are you still there?
…….. Yea.
Damn. What are you?
I am you. I am me. I am us.
So… you’re in my head?
Only if you think I am.
So if I think you’re not.. then..
Yes, then I’m not.
But, even then.. you’ll be there…..
………………….

o0. Getting on with the post. Was chatting with a nice girl some time ago who almost just broke up with her boyfriend. She says her girlfriends don’t have time to talk to her. That struck me as weird. Girls always huddle around the brokenhearted one, right? It seemed like an unwirtten contract in my mind that girls all follow without question. Even guys do it. =) Her friends didnt really like him anyway so maybe thats the exception. So I was being a good friend and just talking things out with her. This meant mostly agreeing with alot of things that she said. So anyway, the breakdown of what she ranted about: (btw i got her permission to blog about this as long as i dont mention anything else about her so dont think im a horrible person to confide in =)

Guys are heartless
Loved him so so much
Feels like sleeping and not waking up cos this is like her worst nightmare come true
Yearns to embrace him all the time
Feels like begging him to come back and wants to threaten him with her safety etc.
Wants to bury her head in some of those soft toy thingys he gave her and just imagine that it didnt happen.
Wants to smell his cap which she still has and says smells of his hair gel. (fetish? haha.)
Doesnt feel like doing anything anymore. (Locked herself in her room and has been crying for a few hours at this point)

Sigh no? Dumb guy. Shes a great (hot hot hot) girl. He must be gay. Or just a dumbass. Or a gay dumbass. Or an asexual weirdo. Or just a weirdo. Or a gay weirdo. Or just plain asexual. Shes still kinda not over him at the moment but shes getting on fine.

She reminded me of me.. but her case was a little more extreme. I remember the smelling thing very well tho. Mmmm. Anyway, it was nice, comforting her and just making her feel good about herself. Like self-therapy but with benefits =) I am such a good friend. One of the best. I didnt have any other motives. I was just there and she was just needy.(not needy as in annoying needy. Just needy)

Had a weekload of tests. Averaged a 77 in chemistry for my mid term. I hate smartasses who get over 80. I Hate. No I dont really hate. I Envy =)
Chem test went well as could be expected. My calculator died halfway and I wasted 5 minutes waiting for the lect to get hers. Such a sweet lady. Cant complain tho. Coulda been worse. Not really but it could have. Unlucky bastard I am. That reminds me..

Watched an old edu video during chem explaining equilibrium and I Can Swear That It Was A Sexually Suggestive Vid. There was the parts with the iodine and hydrogen atoms banging each other again and again and again and again and again. Over and over and over. Then there was the “dancefloor” analogy which was.. er… I2 molecules are girl moleculess and H2 are boy molecules. When I2 and H2 bang, HI is formed. But HI also “breaks up”(get it?) and becomes H2 and I2 again. Then when there are too many boys, they will “surround” the girl [illustrated in the vid by showing the “girl” in the middle of a ring of “boys”. They then rub against each other and PooF, HI is formed again. You have to see it to believe it. =) that was one fun class. Even the innocent girls at the front got the reference so it goes to show, you dont have to be a perv(which im not) to read between the lines. Its that or they arent so innocent after all.

Almost died on the way to watch Little Man. Friend driving the car realized his side mirrors was out of focus halfway there and later had to swerve to avoid banging headfirst into a lorry coming around the corner cos he was on the wrong side of the friggin road cos he thought it was a one-way. (it was seriously close im not exaggerating)
Hmm. All in all a pretty good trip. Cant blame him for reckless driving tho. Always Blame The Lorries. Always. Even if you’re in the wrong. Its either the lorries of the Motorcyclists. Or Jews. Or Muslims. Or Americans. Or Extremists. Or The Government. Or Drugs. Or Parents. Or Pre-Marital Sex.

Watched Little Man…. It kinda bombed in my mind but thats just cos I thought white chicks was hilarious. There were great moments tho. Like the bouncy part(s). You’ll know what I mean if you watch(ed) it. Where’s my Scary Movie 5 muthaf*****z??! Wheres my Anna Faris?@!?

Have a nice weekend guys. I know I will.

Cyaz.

pSyCh

Posted by psych at September 4th, 2006

haha. hey guys. just an update.

I can’t seem to fall asleep for more than 2 hours at the most. I’m sure this has never happened to me before. I get sleepy and fall asleep only to wake up about an hour later. Right before I wake up I kinda get the feeling like I was dreaming about something that I felt I needed/wanted to have but can’t or won’t (or maybe both) get. Its like its in my grasp but I just let it go at that last moment before I wake up. Right then I wake up feeling like crap. Feeling like I just let go of happiness or something like it. I dont even know what it is. It feels good though. Like the anti-everythingbadintheworld. Everything dissolves away and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be missing. But I know I miss it a whole lot. Sigh, I like the feeling it gives me right before I wake up though. I think bliss might actually feel like that. Btw, people who think I’m talking methaphorically, think again. I’m seriously confused here. I remember the opposite happening before actually, i just got one of those really really cool toy dinosaurs for my [insert forgotten occasions name]. It was so awesome that I fell asleep with it in my hand. As I drifted off, I felt it slip out of my hands. Felt it almost like it wasnt my body and the toy just vanished into thin air. Its like my brain methodically switched of part after part of my body and my hand was the last thing it switched off.

Eww.. mind puke. All over there. Sorry guys, cant organize those thoughts into proper sentences that make more sense. I doubt even I would properly understand it if I reread it. Maybe I would. After all its my mindpuke =) Er anyways, yea Im trying not to resort to drugs to get me sleeping properly. Think its just a phase. And No. They Aint Sex Dreams Where I Wake Up “Prematurely”. Thats not it. Its more spiritualish i think.

Or if its about a person(might be. not sure) then my subconscious has a crush on someone and i dont know about it. damn.

And no, it wasnt hard recalling the dinosaur story. I was crazy about em back then (when dinosaurs were cool -_-) Test tomorrow. Fingers crossed that I can sleep without you know what.

PS-Been readin reports that Steve Irwin died today due to a stingray’s.. sting? lets just say attack.. while filming a docu. Was hoping it was some kind of hoax but it looks like its official. Ill miss the guy. Its sad cos kids like me who grew up watching him on tv really got so much out of it. I seriously learnt so much from him. Animal related things, of course. Atm, I prefer Corwin but this guy got me hooked early on. So, kids, watch reruns cos you aint getting any new ones. Heres to one of Australias best known treasures and the one and only Crocodile Hunter.(there really can be no other after all.)

–pSyCh–

Posted by psych at August 22nd, 2006

I like girls. I might not like them all the time. I’ve come close to actually swearing off girls at certain times during the confusion of my adolescence. (Yea all that testosterone didn’t help) But those bouts of anti-girlity actually helped me realize one thing:

* Regular people don’t find their soulmates when they’re teenagers. If they do then they’re extremely lucky but for all us regular ppl - it aint gonna happen so easily. Getting your heart broken doesn’t mean that you’re being rejected by your “soulmate”. (Think about it, a real soulmate wouldn’t dump you. Vice versa. Pretty simple). It just means that the other person is human and is doing what s/he thinks is right. It doesn’t really make them right. It just makes them human.
* The above only applies if you believe in this soulmate garbage (gasp). [Imo if theres no such thing my future lovelife is gonna be pretty f’ed up cos I’m counting on it =)]

Thanks to AG’s post, I’ve started thinking about all the girls who have driven me crazy in the psat.. and some who still do. I consider them all crushes. All except one anyway. But I’m not mentioning that because recalling it still sucks. Ahh the weirdness of childhood love. It is/wasn’t unrequited.. It just changes/ed over time, as all things do.

A random girl named Betty.
She was just a kid. Just a kid. A young kid. (omg!) Yea so was I. I Am No Paedo. No matter what a select few weirdos might think. Erm.. this was in kindergarten. Either first or second year. Can’t remember her last name for the life of me. But yea rare name imo. She’s the first and only Betty I know so far. Anyways no contact with her for a gazillion years so I’m sure she won’t see this. As far as the relationship went, I guess it was as innocent as it could get. Teacher asked us to describe the person standing opposite us and I said something stupid and goofy like pretty/beautiful. She blushed. We talked. We formed what I can only describe as bf/gf without any hormones involved. We hung out together daily after that. Last I saw her was at graduation. Can’t even remember that day at all except for waving goodbye to her before getting in the car. Still have her number written in a really really old phonebook. Don’t have the guts to call just to catch up. Don’t really want to anyway for some reason. Its been over 10 years now I think so thats alot of catching up.

Jennifer Aniston + Avril Lavigne

Need I say more? Anything hotter than them just disappears once they get in my mind. Yea, haven’t actually met them but it wouldve been some kinda injustice not to mention them. Jen’s the reason I actually started watching FRIENDS and I’m eternally grateful to her for that alone. The fact that shes gorgeous is just a plus. Avril made my teenage years happier. I love her. Love. Her.

A Girl From Primary School Who Might Read This

Yea noone really knows this but I did have a slight crush on a girl in my primary school. Nothing major but enough to get me riled up when she came near. Lasted a few months with nothing eventful happening. Everybody wes more siblingy than partnery back then anyway.
At least TMK =)
College Girls

Just a few who I think actually deserve to be here >P. Kidding. Everyone is beautiful in his/her own special way. External beauty just makes people like you more. Its true I guess. It sucks for extremely hideous people but its a weird fact. I think it’s hardcoded into our [dna]? so that we get the best children we possibly can get. No second picks. So, obese people arent sought after because then your children will likely be obese and not fit enough to survive in the wild. Or something like that. Rambbbbbling. Interesting thought.

I’ve wondered if it counts as sexual deviation(dunno the right term so wth) when someone can’t help but fall for (what the rest of the world sees as) unattractive people. I mean if guy+guy/girl+girl attractions are commonplace then why not right? Its not that far of a stretch. Then again even gay people only look for hot gay ppl to hook up with. So gender is not a determining factor but looks are? Looks before everything else? Really? Really? Picture an island. Youre stuck there. Gonna live there your whole life. Picture a guy and an old woman with you. The guy is fit, not repulsive and friendly. The woman is old, saggy(><), dirty(like unhygienic dirty), unkept, and lets see… missing all her teeth, is diseased ridden and has many many STD’s. Haha that was an exaggeration. Ok. Lets just say she was… pretty darn ugly. Girls can do the whole scenario vice versa (ugly old man with the works). And YOU HAD to do one of them to stay sane (i guess you could hold out for a few years). Who would it be? And yea it has to be either one, cant be neither etc. You could just commit suicide but wheres the fun in that.

OMG didnt mention any college girls.. lets see. Theres the 17 year old who makes me smile alot. Then theres the 18 yr old who is so damn funny she makes me laugh without even trying. Then theres the other 18 year old who is hot hot hot hot hot and taken taken taken taken. Then theres the 18 yr old who keeps calling me Jonny. Er.. the smart one from Chem whos just a little too shy.. the average one whos always asking for my help..

Too many to list. Forgot my purpose of typing this in the first place. This was actually split into two cos I keep running out of time. This(the second half) comes a day later so you can expect the meaning of the first part to be lost somewhere in the middle.

Avril….. avril… love me..

Gday

pSyCh

Posted by psych at July 28th, 2006

Wow. Nice things keep happening to me. Lost my phone. Yeap. Lost it. I knew this week was bad but wtf am i right? Argh. I am so high, I can hear heaven. So high… on grief and pain. Now I’m stuck with a Samsung. Damn you Samsung phone. Damn your small screen and tiny keys. Damn your cute appearance and your annoying beeps. Damn your ultra limited memory and most of all, damn ME for losing something so DAMN BIG in the first place (Thats Actually The Worst Part About This Whole Crappy Situation). Its excusable to lose the most tiniest, thinnest, lightest, almost invisibleish phone. But not one that looks like it could swallow your head. Too bad eh. Congrats to the lucky bastard who stole it. You Lucky Bastard. I hope s/hes the kind of person with some kind of brain defect. One look at the pr0n in the phone and itll trigger a major stroke. Wish you hadnt stolen my pr0n ridden phone now eh?(the pr0ns not my doing btw. pervy hands of pervy people with pr0n ridden phones can do amazing things. Thanks Bluetooth!) My Samsungs clean. So it just doesnt feel the same….

• OMG PSYCH THAT WAS AN AWESOME RANT!!!
• I KNOW RIGHT!!!!
• OMG I WANNA BE WITH YOU SO BAD!!!!
• I KNOW RIGHT!!!!
• OMG YOU ROCK MY WORLD!!!!!!
• I KNOW RIGHT!!!!
• I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
• I KNOW RIGHT!!! I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!
• OMG PSYCH LETS GO TO HOLLAND AND GET MARRIED!!!!
• lets… not.

On to the good stuff. The cool convo above was included solely for the purpose of making my post take up most of the page. If it still doesn’t then I could just delete everyone else’s posts right? No? Ok.

I was on the train minding my own business when I spotted an empty seat. Took it without thinking twice. Was trying to get away from a weird Indian guy who was feeling me with his eyes (for lack of a better phrase. Seriously I think thats what girls complain about when they tell you that there’s a guy staring at them. I almost felt his probing eyes undress me slowly. Exaggeration? Probably. Didnt confront him cos it coulve been all in my mind. =) But we all know the truth right?) Ahem. Anyway I was just sitting there, looking forlorn(I think) when a voice beside me said, “You’re Jon right?”. Lo and ZOMGG- Malay Girl Who Looks Kinda Familiar Looking Right At Me. Managed to get to know that she was my Standard 2/3/4 something classmate. God everything came back in that second. She seemed cool about meeting in the train. We exchanged pleasantries. But through all that, there was one thing in my mind… Her stealing my pen. The memory of her stealing it, denying it, making excuses, calling me a liar, me calling her a thief, her crying… all etched in my mind like some kind of movie. A movie that kept repeating itself as I talked to her about college, where she went after Standard 6. The usual crap. My blood was boiling by the time we were done talking. Very childish right? Well if you thought that youre absolutely right. Unresolved issues can be a butch. It might not even be that. I might just have a weird grudge holding complex. First time so far as I can tell. But those unresolved issues from your past might just come back and haunt you sometime soon. Well it probably wont but it might. Instead of a pen. It could be something important. Like your dignity? Think about it.

Power to the Masses,

Death to all Teddy-Bears.

Have A Kickass Weekend.

pSyCh

Posted by azngeek at July 3rd, 2006

Masterpiece

White lights flicker on a black canvas,
Blue strokes glide across it,
Glossy green dabs and brown lines
of different shades articulate,
give definition to the piece.
Abraded across the surface
a rainbow infinitely stretched,
with care and precision,
every detail in place.

The senses tingle as hands
run across carressing
with reckless abandonment
and passion.The night
God’s art
so much thought He had put in, maybe;
that’s why lovers embrace the night with giggles and sighs.

Posted by azngeek at July 2nd, 2006

This Stone
The blue vapour infinitely high,
stretched across without boundaries,
friend of the luminous flames,
lend your warmth to this stone.
The pitch black blanket the substitute,
ally of the sphere of pure white,
bring the dark and cold to this stone.
This stone shall face it with courage.

To this stone,
The wall of waves come crashing,
force of countless armies,
shatter this stone,
the shower of rain,
the howling of wind,
bring your battle song,
wage war on this stone.
This stone shall face it with courage.

To this stone,
it shall endeavour
each encounter.

To this stone,
Mould this stone,
to a uniqueness of one,
refine this stone,
to an experience of none.

To this stone,
Let this stone,
age to dust.
For this stone,
let its memory,
scatter in the sands.

Posted by azngeek at March 11th, 2006

A Wintery Day

I lie here in bed,
awake,
but still asleep,
unmoving,unmoving,
I lay still in bed,
staring at a clock
that blinked “88:88″,
counting the seconds
of the cold wintery day.
Take me… away…

The white blanket
of snow no longer
held the innocence
I once knew,
there was a time,
when I loved the snow,
when snow angels,
snow men,
and even snow fortresses,
were carved out of
the depth of the imagination.
In the pure whiteness of the
soft cold snow,
was a World, Our world,
Our hope, Our faith, Our dreams
and Our love.

Now it was there
to erase everything
I once had. The blanket of snow…
when did you turn black?

It fogged up the window,
where I once had written
messages of hope and faith,
It covered the streets,
where I once had walked on,
in finding my dreams,
It sealed the door,
where I once had gone through,
to see people I loved.

That was on a cold wintery day.
Take me… away…

Posted by azngeek at March 4th, 2006

I know. Me thinking? Very unlinke me, but pfffbt shut the fuck up, otherwise I can’t hear myself think. Things have been going up and down lately and I’ve (notice how the world revolves around me, fag. I, me , I me, NO YOU.) been feeling pretty disconnected with the world lately. I don’t know why really. Mmmm shall I BLAME it on the world for the circumstances which do not allow me to be more in touch with the people around me? Or shall I be constructive, not lay blame and think about do something constructive to overcome this whatever thing… I think I’ll choose the former. Makes things easier that way don’t you think so non-existent readers? Mmmm, I don’t know but I think I like it better when I know that no one is reading about my thoughts or whatever. It feels liberating, being able to just let everything loose and be a different person at the keyboard shielded by the anonymity of the internet.

In An Ideal World

In an ideal world,
should one not feel safe, warm,
and constantly loved,
like a baby being suckled
by its mother?
Yet if every single day,
in our lives,
when dissapointment ,
constantly plagues us,
if it is a blanket of darkness,
which keeps us cold,
as we sleep at night
are we not distant from
an ideal world?
When terror rains upon
this dry earth,
when tears spill,
damping the souls,
leaving them out in the cold,
does that not mean
something is wrong?
But when you stop,
and listen well,
and hear the laughter of little children,
the whispers of lovers,
the tears of joy of parents,
does that not bring hope?
Maybe something isn’t so wrong
after all?

Hmm signing the fuck off. Have a nice day.