The AznGeek

Posted by azngeek at October 5th, 2008

Life has been a mish mash of everything for me lately. The distinction between being awake and asleep now has sometimes been dulled just by the lack of it. A lot more hectic lately though things have begun to settle down considerably as the semester approaches another end.

So I’ve decided what better way to escape my problems than a long non-nonsensical rant, something I’ve not done for eons. And I’m sure the many(one) reader out there would highly appreciate a pseudo update. Not really quite an update. But a filler. Kinda like those annoying fillers in animes. I digress.

Well as I was saying. Non nonsensical rant. Growing up, I used to think beards were the coolest things in the universe. Like bad ass pirates that have been out at sea for far too long who have neither had the chance to shave or get laid. (Because of the latter they became quite a lot less bad ass) Or the manliest of guerrilla fighters hanging out in the jungle going all holier-than-thou-I-have-a-purpose and attacking the villagers for supplies in the name of freedom. Man. I remember when the careers advisor at my school was having a talk to us at school about career paths. The first thing I blurted out to the poor poor lady (god rest her soul after her talk with me) was I wanted to be a samurai. You know. Connect back to my roots and all. Have honor. A big shiny sword. And a cool mask and armor head to toe to boot. Man. That’s what I’m talking about. But she was trying to convince me how I was a confused individual and asked me to consider something abit more down to earth. Practical she said. Never did she once consider how her lack of consideration for my feelings has scarred me for life. That’s beside the point though.

So as I was saying. I thought about it. And got back to her the next day. I told her I wanted to be a guerrilla warrior and fight for freedom in some obscure location in the amazon. I was trying to convince her how it was practical and how bad ass it would be. With the beard and all. (I wasn’t considering the fact of not being laid for a while as all women love guerrilla warriors that have a bushy as beard, I’d have been rewarded handsomely at the end of my long hard fight. Battle scars and all. Man. I’d be a chick magnet). And she convinced me how that was not practical either, and pointed towards two careers considering the grades that I had and the subjects I was doing. Medicine or Engineering. Bah. She crushed my little soul with her pudgy hands. The bitch.

From then on, I’ve hated beards and all forms of facial hair. Gone are the days of coolness if you looked like wolf-boy (I wanted to be wolf-boy too : <). And now. Now, the act of shaving just pisses me off. I hate getting scruffy in the morning. I got so pissed off. I felt like ripping my face off ( I kid) . What I’m trying to say. The need to shave to look presentable is not bad ass. It’s a pain, and it hurts me so. : <

I’m an angry confused individual.

When I wake up from my confused state I will not have a recollection of this.

Azngeek

Posted by azngeek at July 19th, 2008

Last night I went out with my friend, for simplicity’s sake, lets call her Soccer Girl™. I usually see her at the end of every semester. Went to high school with her for a couple of months before I moved to a different school. The stuff we usually do when we meet up would consist usually of a movie, food, and a drink, and a long talk. She reflects on herself to me, I reflect on myself to her. I’m not sure what kinda categories our talks would be put under. But man, they are always thoughtful and so contemplative; it’s quite hard to imagine that I’d get myself into conversations like that. ( I had a similar conversation with Economics Girl™ as well -> I have no idea how I lend myself into situations like these. At least it only happens about twice a year, for the most part haha)

And it’s got me thinking, thinking about, how much I’ve lost focus on the things that really mattered to me. For a while there, I was putting in so much effort on things that didn’t really matter hugely to me. And the things that mattered, took a back seat for a while. I haven’t really let friends into my thoughts, and it’s been more on a need to know basis. And I think it might have been because I was reciprocating on the fact that was what they were doing it as well. That’s just how guys roll. Haha. I just said that’s how guys roll. I am now officially hip and cool.

But I think I’ve just been given you know that refreshing dip into a sea of focus. I think I’m ready to get out of this status-quo of indecision.

Signing Off,
Azngeek

Posted by Morpork at April 12th, 2008

I think I’m a freak of nature. You know, how people usually go “I don’t tell you how to do your job so don’t go telling me how to do mine!” or “Stop telling me what to do, Mom!” Well, today (and yesterday) I was pretty down because it was the onset of Horridays and people won’t stop reminding me about projects and tests. So while I was sulking like a baby, my father called and told me to do some stuff for him. And I sprang back to life and finished stuff I usually take days to procrastinate before doing. I like being ordered around.

People who speak out are usually leader-esque types and like to talk about taking the lead and stuff. For me, all of those is probably out of my league. My element is essentially a background goon. A henchman. A grunt. And I think I’m good at being that. People out there who know me, you’ll have to know how to use me for me to shine as a character. And now you know.
I’ll share with you some crazy dreams I’ve had in this screwed up mind of mine. The different levels of light have different damages associated with them. Don’t believe me? Read on.

Matches - Defeats Grues
Torchlight -  Defeats Alone in the Dark Shadows
Fluorescent Light - Causes Insomnia
Spot Light - Catches thieves
Sun - All engulfing

Well, that was boring. But I didn’t say it was interesting. Just helping you pass the time really. Zombies living among us, my dreams tell me of your diet!
Mango - Fleshy. Too sweet.
Durians - Not quite but getting there
Brains - The squishiness… The chunkiness… That’s what you drool over in your un-sleep

I just realised there are many fruits I don’t know the name of in English. That durian-ish small fruit with fake spikes. No idea what it’d be called.

Congratulations for enduring all that. Feel free to floccinaucinihilipilificate this article!

Posted by azngeek at March 24th, 2008

I believe many a times we do not realize that our parents were once our age. They once had a concoction of hormones coursing through their veins propelling them to idiotic heights. Much like at this point in time in my life. I blame hormones for every stupid thing I’ve ever done to date (quite brilliant isn’t it?).

But getting back onto point. Being young at heart. I was in the car with my dad just today. And there was a BMW 328 being utterly moronic. And then there goes my dad, changing lanes and planting it. Unexpected. Yes. He concluded the little encounter with a whisper under his breath, “You’ve got nothing on me mate.”

And there I was sitting. Awestruck. My dad, the boy racer.

Will wonders never cease.

Signing off,

Azngeek

Posted by azngeek at December 6th, 2007

Are you an enabler? Don’t know? Unsure? Let me help you to see whether you are one. And if you aren’t. First let me tell you what an enabler is then i suppose. An enabler is a person who well to stupidly put it: Enables others.  Duhhhhhh. Okay fine. Lets really talk about what an enabler does. An enabler capacitates, facilitates, and just gives some form of assurance to another whether in the negative or positive sense.

Some people need negative enablers. Others. Need positive ones. A nudge in the right direction.

Lets talk about the positive type first. The positive type, would usually fall under the kind hearted, gullible, still innocent-ish, optimistic annoying arses. They believe in magic, little fairies, ponies, and little unicorns. And believe that anything can happen if they try hard enough or want something enough. And will tell you so. They’ll tell you that YOU should go for the girl next door that you’ve been head over heels with for as long as you can remember, they will tell you that you WILL be able to afford that nice Euro car the next year, and they will tell you that you will be able to reach the peek of that skiing slope and completely nail it without having too many ungraceful face imprints into the cold hard compressed snow.

And then you have the negative types. Who tell you. No. You can’t do that and that. You lack the ability. You aren’t good enough. And so on and so forth. Maybe because they understand that you yourself would try harder if you are told no. Or they could be extreme realist. Or the alternative to that is that they could be just downright mean spirited arses.

Am I an enabler? Well. I’ve been doing part time tutoring for a while now. And I guess I’ve developed some fairly decent enabling skills. I play on both sides of the fence. Neither nor just a pure positive hippy, or the negative black faced bastard that everyone would love to freeze, place on a popsicle stick, and watch them melt into nothingness (Don’t ask me where I get these weird images from, they just come to me. Like a dream)

My end word is. I’d like to be your enabler. If you so need one. And I’ll be whatever kind of enabler you might need. Just talk to me. Talk to people. Let them know about your current state of mind, of your wants, your needs, your likes, even your dislikes. Makes the world a better place. Lets all be enablers.

PS: I know that if you always head towards the negative enabling methods, you’ll be shunned by society and they will eat your first newborn child.

Azngeek

Posted by azngeek at June 27th, 2007

It’s ironic. How a simple phone call. The tiresome mundane ring of the age old invention. How every aspect. Every thread of an event, can be woven and then be completely massacred into a mess of tattered frayed edges of nothing.

I know what a phone call can do. It can brighten ones day. To know that some out there cares. Or not even that. To know that someone out there, isn’t a complete asshole. Or seems to not be a complete asshole. That’s good enough for me. To brighten my day. To sort of have that flicker, that smidgen of hope. To hold on to. To help wind the sails to take you through a rough day. That’s why I believe in random phone calls. To people you’ve not talked to in yonks. Just to let them know that they are remembered. And for the more popular people. Maybe just to let them know. Yea. You still are that popular person you were back in high school even though that might not have been the point of the call. It could be just purely be on good will and the needs and wants of human beings wanting to connect. To stay in touch. To feel wanted. And to feel needed. All hat jazz.

And then again. You get those phone calls. You never dream of hearing. The lost of a loved one. The lost of friend. Bad news on some test results. Cancer. Or even something as simple as your son having lost the team the finals in a football game. Tatters. Thoughts. They wander.

Well about a call.

Yea. Fuck. I had just got off the phone. A random phone call. Just to make myself feel sort of better. I had a shitty tiring day. I somehow got myself a job teaching a kid with a learning disorder. It frustrates me to no end. But. Well. Someone I know of. Sounded a bit under the weather. And I thought a phone call would do us both good. And then I called. And then there was idle chitter chatter, some exchange of some nonsensical rants, mostly on my part. A fresh voice. It was new. It was good to feel connected again. Yes. It did. Considering how isolated I’ve been feeling (thus the retail therapy, another post for another time). A call on my part. To cheer someone else up. That warm fuzziness rush. Very much like adrenaline. But sugary sweet. And packs far more punch as it gives the senses a tingle. I’m a sucker for warm and fuzziness. Hahha. In a completely macho and manly way of course. I assure you.

Then I try to drift off to sleep. But sure. I’m feeling better about myself and all. (I’m a selfish whore. I make people feel better to help my own psychotic self destructive complex. Maybe. I have no idea) But I’m bothered. Something doesn’t feel quite right. And I have an early start for work the next day. Tutoring. Bleh. don’t as k me why. So I toss and turn. And the phone. It rings. I stare at it idly. And then pick up. It’s my mates mother. She can’t get a hold of her son and was wondering whether he was with me, considering he was out since the morning and it was 12 at night. My heart sank. It was unlike him. Unlike Michael. My friend from college who had just come over back for a holiday from Melbourne days ago.

I told her I’d do everything I could to try to help her look for him. I got the phone. Dialled what must have been a few dozen numbers. Bothering everyone I knew. “Guys. Michael is missing. Seen him around?” But to no avail. I called back his mom. Told him I didn’t know what else to do. And she told me I should get some rest. In another 24 hours. she’d make that phone call. The one no one ever wants to make. A missing persons report to the plice after 24 hours.

And there’s my night. Tossing and turning. I head off for tutoring. And call his home again to check up on his mother. His mother’s hand phone is off. I go straight into the message box. Much like Michael’s phone. And then. I dial his house number….

—-

—-

And there he is. The fucker came back. In the wee hours of the morning. Mc0ahle you bloody bastard. That was a whole nights sleep! DICSD:LKJP(*Q#$PIU

Asswipe. Will kick your ass the next time I see you. I swear.

Signing off,
Anzgeek

Posted by psych at June 18th, 2007

I’m blogging stark-almost naked. Got a cold/flu thing. Can’t and won’t learn the difference between the two. I swear I read it a few minutes ago. All I know is one’s caused be a virus and the other by a bac. Anyway, a/c is on. Room door locked. Naked. Not completely. My fear of there being a futuristic camera hidden in a soft toy makes me.. yea. slightly self-conscious. That and I hate feeling naked.
Armourless.
Props to nudists. NO PROPS TO FUGLY UNATTRACTIVE NUDISTS. They have rights but so do I and I do not want to see them outside. Or inside.. Blerhhh.
Listening to very chilly music. Just wasting time. Thats what I do when I have a non-fever inducing illness. No more solace in TV. So many new channels but nothing worth my time.

Don’t rush after something not worth your time. Sounds so much more deep than talking about TV channels. Was banging myself on the head for not posting Anything when I have absolutely Nothing else to do. Truth is there is nothing. Got something a few times but by the time I was halfway through it wasnt something I wanted to read anyway. Felt it flow out of my head(hands) like fine sand when you press really hard. Then it was gone. Maybe I shoulda made those half-posts into one ok-post. Barren head empty mind meaningless thoughts a bit of you. I notepaded a rant i had quite some time ago. A very very emo rant. This really doesnt sound like something I’d say when I’m sober. Not that I wasn’t when I typed it. It sounds honest but its mostly exaggerated I think. Hormones. What can you do but wait for em to calm down. Enjoy, for I have no soulsearching to do today.

ARGH. Need to vent something. Don’t think this is gonna be posted tho. If it is, more power to me. haha. ARGHH. How does someone make me feel so fucking good and bad at the same time. Im typing this as i think it out btw so grammatical or spelling errors could come about which i may or may not correct seeing as im not planning on posting in the first place. AKSLDJASLKJDASKLJLKZJCLZXJCKLSAJD. I might just try password-protecting it. But then again why would regular readers wanna read this when Its abslutely not meant to by funny or azngeek-material in the first place. Heck I wouldnt wanna read this. Well I would since everything which lies herein has everything in the world to do with me and the life i am living at the moment. She makes me feel like I can say anything to her. Share everything. We tease each other. I’m not sure if she likes me to the point of actually trying me out again but the things we do are so damn annoyingly more than friendish. The teasing. God. Feels so good. Makes me actually LOL in RL. Makes me so goddamn happy. But I’ve a feeling she doesn’t know she makes me feel this way. She might but I think its natural to feel like she doesn’t. I actually try to be extra adorablish around her coz she seems to like it. The things I say to make her laugh are so not the usual me. The things she says to me. Are like button pushers. They push the right ones. All the time. Looking at her is almost heaven. Melty. Im not too schooled in friend protocol. Well the basics are pretty much there. I just dont know where the line is crossed and if doing what I want to do will screw stuff up. How do I begin to explain what she does to me. Well lets begin with the obvious.. The here and now. -Its almost 12am. I just finished chatting with her(GOD@Q!SDLKAJLK felt good). -Im typing this out in notepad because im not bothered enough to log into azngeek atm. -I spent a pretty long time on this alone. And I might just X it. So tahts alot of time down the drain. Am I doing something wrong? right? I really want someone to tell me what to do. And I want that someones advice to work out great. Im sure many of you feel the same about someone. Some more than others. Now on to why I feel bad? I’ve been to the place with this person. Not that place. Somewhere nearby. Ive been there. And I moved away. Doesnt going back make me an insecure, heartless bastard who only thinks about himself? Worlds foremost emo. Indeed.

Yea just thought some people would like to read that. After all people like reading those confession things in mags and papers. Like how someone slept with her best friends brother and cheated on her boyfriend who is also best friends with her best friends brother. You get the picture.

pSyCh (The one which doesnt know where that ^ came from)

Posted by psych at June 7th, 2007

Damn I’m feeling extremely polarized today. Politically. Human beings do not and can not tolerate impartiality, right? Humans must all live free and equal, right? But if things aren’t equal, do people take it lying down? Do they get used to it? Did early African Americans take it lying down? Well, yes they did. Until that lady stood up for her right to sit where the hell she wanted on that goddamn bus. One fucking bus. A normal day. Made her a hero of sorts. It made sense then. It makes sense now. Chain reaction, anyone?

Things are not that bad, say in an Asian petri dish where equal opportunity does not usually follow the message of unity that is being thoughtlessly drilled into countless minds. Unity. Inhabitants (of the petri dish, microbes and other minute things) live in harmony. Relative freedom. Everything seems to be going on fine. Even though the inhabitants realize that invisible barriers are limiting the choices and moves of a few but yet are acting as stepping stones for different microorganisms. For the sake of the well being of the entire petri dish, these things exist. For what exactly? Is someone going to make a stand eventually? Say enough is fucking enough? Will it make a difference? It’s there, and I don’t see an end to it for a long, long time. The other organisms have all found ways to overcome the invisi-barrier. Took them some work but they’re doing the best they can. Survivors. Most of the organisms actually understand each other’s problems, wants and needs but confrontations arise from time to time. Especially due to the actions and words of the small number of fucktards in the population.
*The writer loves his petri dish very much and realizes that not all of the microbes (and bacteria) can be generalized and classified as simply as stated. He did so for his own convenience. After all he can’t be arsed to do more homework than needed for the post due to it being solely for ranting purposes and realizes that when he wakes up tomorrow he may regret ever posting it due to it being slightly out of context but extremely true. (Every Bloody Word) Yes, he is pissed but he only gets this pissed once in a while. This makes him an extremely suitable life partner as he always feels bad and will buy you something expensive the day after. Don’t push it, and you’ll be fine. All I am saying [We’re back on the petri dish] is that it can just take one small thing to change the course of history as we know it. Imagine if one, tiny, insignificant microorganism just said, “Hmm, I see your point. But I think I deserve it as much as any other one here. More so in fact because I actually worked for it. I’ve lived in this petri dish my whole life. I deserve it.” The issues it is talking about can range from A-Z. Anything he is stopped from doing based on the thoughts and wishes of one group of microorganisms. My DOG I’m like a bloody Ahma talking on and on like this. Like complaining to a neighbor or something. If you read this and feel the way I feel, fine. If you don’t/disagree, thats fine too. It’s not like either one of us can do anything about it anyway.

God this reminds me so much of Averdims bunny post which was awesome [by the way]. The link to his site is on right. My college life is over. Graduation here I come.

New techno-ey shit ive been listening to. Pretty nice. “Vampires Are Alive” some Swiss DJ. Go checketh it out. Not sure how old or if its already in clubs. But seeing as how late Euro stuff gets here (the arrival of the numa numa song 50billion years after it was released had me LMFAO for a long time) I doubt it.

pSyCh

Posted by psych at May 17th, 2007

*Press Enter*

*Input ‘operation cwal’*

*Press Enter*

*Click on Scout portrait*x5

“It is a good day to die.
It is a good day to die.
It is a good day to die.
It is a good day to die
It is a good day to die.”

Brilliance. Totally random, but the main part of my post. I’m here. Today. To talk about Starcraft. Thats right. The first game I ever played. Ever ever ever ever ever. And one of the best since. I actually read the cd-book thing before I started the game. Something I will never do (now that I’m not as sad as I was eons ago). The story captivated me. Even though I didn’t understand the better half of it. Played the game. Wrote down the mission objectives (simple ones. Like build this and build that kinda thing) on a piece of paper. Lame. But adorable? Then, realizing that as a primary school kid with no previous introduction to the RTS genre, I did the only thing that made sense.

“black sheep wall” “there is no cow level” “something for nothing” “operation cwal” “power overwhelming”<-733t!!!! “medieval man” “the gathering” “war aint what it used to be”

Cheats. Believe it or not, haven’t touched Starcraft in years but those came from some crevice in my brain. Some long-forgotten  storage chest filled with strategies which include but are not limited to: zergling rushes, protoss fast tech, zergling rushes.. and did I mention zergling rushes. Yea gay i know but thats the only thing I actually mastered. From 8 years old onwards, you pretty much get shaped by what you do and what you like. That game.. plays a much bigger part in my psyche than I wouldve thought possible. I can barely recall the warcraft story and I’m sure I played it through more than once recently. I didn’t even really like starcraft cos it kept kicking my ass. Then some buddies.. Averdim, San.. are the ones I can recall. Just got me into it again. Well, the expansion kicked ass. I think I played the base game through with cheats and didn’t really understand what was going on anyway. The second one was made with kids in mind. Coz I got it. Like teletubbies on speed and crack. The hot new unit (the flying russian chick YOWZAH) was a nice touch. LL starcraft. I miss it so.
pSyCh

Posted by psych at May 10th, 2007

Hey people. I’m being a very good updater. I don’t trust myself to remember the things I want to blog about when I’m away from the computer. I can think of around 3 things I was certain I’d remember to do once I got online (and which seemed at the time to be all-important) which I promptly forgot once Firefox got fired up.

These things happen. Filler fills my thoughts. Therefore, you read my filler… Filler filler filler. This post might (it does) contain filler. But IMO, filler some stuff aint.
The title.. is a reference to a Phoebe song. FRIENDS. One of the best sitcoms in the history of sitcoms. People who disagree. Are idiots. I kid. No, I don’t. Nothing beats hearing a Phoebe song after a bad day (except getting Jen. Aniston to be my girl[woman?]).

Grandma

Now, Grandma’s a person who everyone likes,
She bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike.
But lately she hasn’t been coming to dinner,
And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner…
Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru,
But the truth is she died and some day you will too!
Lalala LAlalala LAlalala LAlalala La La La La
Lalala LAlalala LAlalala LAlalala La La La La

The Cow in the Meadow

Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo,
Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo.
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up,
And that’s how we get hamburgers.
*pause*
Now…….. chickens!!

Sometimes

Sometimes men love women
Sometimes men love men,
And then there are bisexuals
Though some just say they’re kidding themselves.
La lalala lalalalala la
La la lalala lala la la

Theres just something about actually listening to the song. The lyrics are really.. poignant though. Who can forget the infamous Smelly Cat? Phoebe gets people.
*resists urge to force feed to songs to everyone* seriously. just google em up. songs available for dl all over the place. worthit.

Totally different note. Quite some time ago, a member of the Wiggles quit the group. Rumour has it that many mothers were upset because the dude was something of a hearthrob and they all had crushes on him. Now, if you don’t mind. Which one? Coz I can’t tell from these extremely macho pics. These women(the mothers, not the members). Are seriously lacking in the .. bedroom department. Or are desensitized to the obvious.

Whats so gay about those you ask? Its an act after all. For kids. Well, any gayer and you’ll have to gay it yourself.. Well, ok, simpler. The only things that could possible be gayer are:

These guys are as straight as nails eh? God those moms need some serious readjustment. Lesson? Do not crush on your kids’ favourite tv people. We dont need any Teletubby-humping mothers roaming the world. Too dangerous. Those aliens are the roughest lovers in the world. Don’t even get me started on Barney (Michael Jackson).

Hmm. A very gay post. The last pic just kills me. Remind me of that nipple rubber named “Nipples” from Little Nicky. So let’s leave it at that. I’m gonna go watch some Blues Clues.

pSyCh

Posted by azngeek at February 7th, 2007

Hay Guys. Post. Post time. Posty post post.

So. Things NOT to do - Lessons Learnt from 2006, another parody conjured up by yours truly. The geek. The azn. The one. The only. The Azngeek. Damn. Anticlimatic? Can I get a hell yeah? No? Too anticlimatic. Damn. Screw you too. (I’m crying myself to sleep now. That’ll make you sorry. Bastards.)So as I was saying. Parody, from me. Funny stuff, some fictional, and some not so fictional, but that’s besides the point. So here’s the lessons learnt from 2006.

Do not text your friend while he’s out with a girl “Hey man. I left my pants in your car.” It doesn’t bode well with the vibe. Fiction? Maybe. Okay fine. It happened. Had a mate. He borrowed a pair of my shorts to play rugby out in the fields out yonder. Because they came to my place before hand, he ended up borrowing a pair of my shorts.(The field was close to my place as well… went for a game of rugby) Mmm. But seriously. IT DOES NOT BODE WELL WITH THE VIBE.

On the bus. Or any public place for that matter. Please. Please for the love of god and all that’s dear, furry, fuzzy, and nipple twistingly pure. Do not. I repeat. Do not shame your descent by having conversations that go like this:

Asian: Trying to grow a goatee man?
European: Just haven’t shaved for a few days.
Asian: Fuck man. Shaving is a bloody special ocassion for me. I only shave once every few months.

The shame. The cringing. Please. Don’t. If you do. You really are an asshole. You asshole.

Getting “freaky” with it. Not cool. Never was. Grabbing your own crotch and well getting freaky. No no. No no no. I know. When I get my freak on. They cower. In fear. Good when playing an aggresive game like rugby. They all run. Run like little girls away. Away from you. Or they could just get you real bad in a tackle. And spit in your face and ask you to stay down. Whichever. Can’t remember. Damn concussion.

Good guys never get the girl? That’s so untrue. You are a loser. Guess what. Maybe I’m speaking from experience. Losers for the win?

Far out. I’m running out of things to rant about. Just try to guess which parts are fiction. Which aren’t. That would be interesting. Peace out. Azngeek.

Posted by Morpork at January 30th, 2007

I am not one with Words so I shall not be as prolific a Writer or as professional as one. I shall, however, pretend to be born of the collective imaginary Readers’ imagination and come upon Azngeek as a being of Superior Power. How is it I am a being of Superior Power? Do you not see that all present documentation of Morpork and all that will document Morpork will always be a capital letter ‘I’ in referencing to ME!?

Posted by azngeek at January 9th, 2007

Psych stole my thunder.  (Psych is Jon, Azngeek is me Tim, for the record, again!)
I was thinking of posting something has heart wrenching as that after having this stupidly painful conversation. Not with myself. That would just be weird. Not to say that I don’t talk to myself like I am doing so now. But that’s completely beside the point. Psych still stole my thunder. My moment of truth. To make people cry. To know that us masculine sensitive blokes still exist.
Psych talked about Y. And I won’t disclose her fullname either. For me, it’s V. She’s in league with Y. The type of girl that would make a man’s man, cry to sleep. They make us men feel like we are falling, falling a million miles from grace. From safety. To an abyss. V and another girl have made me felt like that. So I’m one down from psych. Everyone else have just very much been emotional rebounds. Ricocheting off the edges the cliffs from what would otherwise have been a painless free fall until the moment of collision. It really does suck big dirty Harry’s balls, when you think about it. That us masculine men would be rendered to masculine men that cry to themselves when they are alone in the corner of a dark room with grey walls and a freaky potrait of a perverted old man eyeing the masculine man. Quite disgusting really. I still refuse to believe that us men of men can just crumble. But then again, girls like that, with their smell, their smiles and their sickeningly perfect sense of fashion that seem to be aimed to go for a kill, without a license to do so, can do many things to a man.
I think that’s all for now… busy. Damn.

Kthxbye.

Azngeek

Posted by azngeek at December 17th, 2006

I realize that I’ve not been posting much, thus the double whammy. Two articles tonight. And this one, seeing how most of the other articles have more of a male innuendo and point of view. I therefore would like to write an article with a female twist to it.

Let me start off with a quote from some stupid elderly housewives that have nothing better to do.

“It’s better to be an old men’s darling, than a young men’s sweetheart.”

This quote itself if taken apart from a male’s perspective would and could become quite sexually, urm…. yea. Enough said. SO as I was saying, article for the female population. Tricks to look out for in guys, and if they use these tricks, divorce their ass and take half of their property, OR challenge them on the grounds that you’ve already read of such trivial tricks on the one and only azngeek.com.

So we all know, when most males are young and foolish, they try so hard to please the female. Right? Right. Of course I’m right. God… how long have you people been reading my articles, yet you still question. To the naughty stool!

I digress. So back to the topic at hand. Guys, before marriage.

It’s honey. Darling. Sugar pie. Honey bunch. Cupcake. Chocolate. Fried Chicken. Big Mac. etc. Maybe not the last few. But you get the gist of it. And it’s constant whispering of sweet nothings. You know. All the sweet stuff. Random gifts. Sweet thoughts. An iron grid memory of important dates. All that kinda good stuff. Yea? Agreed? Good. Ooo. And the first kiss. Yea. That’s a ball wrenching moment. Because after that, every kiss becomes much like protocol. Hey honey. *kiss* Bye Honey *kiss* Lets have sex *kiss* You look good today *kiss* After sex *kiss* etc. And they’ll do anything and everything for you. Clean the toilets. Wash the dishes. Iron the clothes. Lick your feet. (Ugh, sick feet fetish people) That all falls under the category of young men’s sweetheart.

Then when the men aren’t so old. It’s the transformation to old men’s bitch! ZOMG. How is this an article for the women? Well this is a guide to point out if YOUR MAN falls under this category, you can divorce the son of a bitch. Rip his balls off. And have beautiful break up sex.(I highly recommend the breakup sex. It offers closure to the relationship. But breakup sex before the ball ripping is far enjoyable. That’s my recommendation. It helps the healing process too!) So again back to the guide. If your man used to do all that shit. And used to offer you all that kinky sex that you desired. And didn’t mind all the foreplay. Would do as much foreplay as you required. All that kinda crap. If he stops that shit. That means you’ve become an old man’s bitch. Makes you grab him a cold beer. Doesn’t do the house hold chores. Makes excuses like, oh I’ve got meetings, or the best one I’ve heard yet. I’ve got allergies. Can’t touch soap, or dust. Etc. Then you’ve become an old man’s bitch. Highly simple, yet 99% of the female population can’t get this. Which brings me to the point brought up by Borat.

“The head scientist of Khazakstan have found that the female brain is smaller than peanuts.”

So ask yourself this. Are you a young man’s sweetheart. Are you now an old man’s bitch? Now ask yourself, should I divorce the mother fucker.

And about the old man’s darling. That’ll come up in my next article with a female twist. As incomplete as this guide may be, or should I say as awesome as it maybe, that’s all I’ll give you for now to satiate your appetite. If you are still hungry for more, go have hot kinky sex. I hear that’s almost as good as reading a new article from the azngeek. And for you people who can’t have hot kinky sex, there’s always your hand. Just be creative.

Peace out,

Azngeek

Posted by psych at December 11th, 2006

The island was really great. Beautiful. I mean. Nothing compared to P. Kapas or like Redang and stuff. But theres just so much awesome looking hugeass islands surrounding it. Its just different. Anyways, my awesome 3 day *more like 2 day but wth* vacation began normal. The bus screwed up. It went furthur than we needed to go. An extra hour wasted but that was fine. Missed the first ferry there coz of misinformation and camwhores =). Erm.. reached there at night. Getting the hotel etc was hitchless. Thanks to awesome planning by me.. Ahem. Anyways this post is gonna be an almost moment by moment recall by me. Almost like a journal entry. But who am i kidding. Its not. Read on please.
Almost knocked a cow on the way there. Darn stupid blind huge cow. It was almost pitch black and the roads were crap. Ron was driving. Revved coz there was a huge stretch of empty road in front. The aforementioned cow ran to the middle of the road before realizing it couldnt pass the whole way because of traffic on the other lane. It therefore reversed and that was when Ron hit the brakes. Ppl were screaming like little girls. Who can blame em. We were seriously close. I think we brushed next to the cow when we came to a stop. Jez wasnt filming. That wouldve made a great holiday vid.
Got to hotel. Went out for dinner really late. Thai stuff. Had a sore throat so i was pretty annoyed with it. Awesome lemon/lime warm drink thing was heaven. Argh. Someone bought some smokes. Waste of money imo coz it didnt get used up properly. Bought beer. A bottle of pink vodka Ron suggested cuz it was in some commercial. 5% stuff. Reminded me of some punch drink. Pretty good. Appletinis. Lmao. Got a whatdoyacallit.. carton or beer? Erm.. flashed an old white dude. with the headlights. We saw a whole load of overdressed imo white ppl chiling at a pub thing next to an overpriced but clean beach. We got back to the hotel. Some interesting and some very very bad ghost stories were told. Beers were put in the fridge cuz they were hot. warm whatever. Had tea. Throat still killing me. Ended up sleeping in a bed with two other guys because well.. haha. I had no choice. 2 beds with 5 guys.. Its simple math =). Ron and Jez. Mmm. I think I survived fine.=/

Morning.. woke up later than expected. breakfast etc. Went to the tiniest Megamall I have ever seen in my life. OMFG. Each floor has a parking capacity of what 9 cars? Hell yeah for the pharmacy there. Got throat stuff. Mmmm. Spent some time there.. Got chocs for some very important people. Was gonna go to a supposedly awesome beach next.

Packed up a few beers. Got rammed into by a damn motorcyclist on the way. Well we took the wrong road and was gonna go back. Anyway long story short. The car door was wrecked. Settled the problem with the fucker and his fucking fuck of a motorbike. Those were the longest minutes of my life. Waiting… Paying the car dude made us broke. Seriously broke. Starved the next day. Anyway, finished all the beers and the JD San bought. The best night possibly of my life. Happiness after that crappy day was heaven. CC got slightly out of control. But he threw the lighter out so someone couldnt smoke. Which was good. =) Erm.. I was happy like I said. Neways, I didnt drink that much anyway. Like just enough to get happy and sleep.. Dreamless. Yeah. Woke up. Ferry back, bus back. Ron was pukey.

I have no beautiful island beach pics cuz haha. We didnt do anything beachy except get kinda drunk on the dirty private resort beach. It was pitch black at night so.. not nice beach pics. Maybe next time. That was imo the most awesomest worst trip of my life. Alot of details left out. Like the condoms. Well, lets leave it at that altho its prolly not what youre thinking. I think that was it. The gist anyway. Haha. I smell sex and candy. Marcy playground. Nice song. Gotta go. I need more Warcraft than I’m getting. Bought all my presents. Think i didnt leave anyone out. Saw a transgendered individual in Ikano. or was it IKEA. I forget. pretty obvious imo but not everyone has my keen sense of spotting them. I think I’m free to say that they creep me out even tho i think im very very open. Very open. Gots to go. AZNGeeks still not done with exams ithink. He left me pretty lonely here.

btw, heroes is nice. very nice. its like what i wanted lost to be before it became fucked up. if it doesnt change, i think i’ll watch it until it ends. =)

oh yeah. the ferry back had a movie playing. a 9/11 show. i learnt a new phrase. Out standing Rice. No not Condy. Jeremy=Outstanding Rice. According to the crappy subtitles anyways. Haha. Jez has new name. I want warcraft. And Benny Benassi to be my slave and dj for me every night. dreaming on.
pSyCh