The AznGeek

Posted by psych at August 7th, 2007

I love Youtube. Like TV, but better. Well, smaller, and blur, but highly specialized. You watch what YOU want to watch. Whats not to like? This post aint about how the actual site evolved. Just the way spam evolved. I love the spam. I read every single one. Loved it even before Streamyx fixed the fucked up slow streams. Love em more now that I dont have to wait for loading videos. Enjoy:

These were the worst. God. Stupid retards. Most of them actually reposted after they read because they were paranoid moronic kids who ACTUALLY FREAKING BELIEVED IT. Many reposts (by the morons) actually came with warnings beforehand. “DO NOT READ THIS!!!” and so on. Cmon, grow the fuck up. Some advice: Reading a line WILL NOT KILL YOUR MOTHER. There arent any glowing eyed girls coming for you. You wont die unless you repost. The love of your life wont dump you. etc.. Yea, seldom see those anymore. This pics pretty old.. Either tighter comment controls or they just grew up. But you can see how just one ‘chain comment’ can spark off a whole lot of idiotic posting. I blame the original prankster less than I do the people who believe and forward the comments. From this, to:

I checked the site. Its a paysite. Sigh. These come up more now. Along the lines of, youtubes not good for naked girls. go to blah.xxx.xxx.xxx.porn.pr0n.hot.sexy.naked.xxx.com. They should know that people who want porn probably know where to go to get it without random posts like these. Finally:

Yeah, this guy’s captain genius. If only youtube was here when I was playing kings of chaos. The only reason people do this is because, thats right, IDIOTS ACTUALLY DO WHAT THEY READ. God, why, does, the ,world, contain, such, morons. Guess what, You Wont Get A Free Gift.

I seriously dont know whats next. Maybe I should do something along those lines but get people to click on those charity sites that feeds the poor. Oh, what about eventual hacking that enables companies or people to actually Advertise their product or company in pictures? Erm. If you were one of those aforementioned ‘morons’, no offense. Just stop doing it. The best thing you could get out if it is a virus. STD’s suck. Well, the sucking comes first, I think.

pSyCh

Posted by psych at June 7th, 2007

Damn I’m feeling extremely polarized today. Politically. Human beings do not and can not tolerate impartiality, right? Humans must all live free and equal, right? But if things aren’t equal, do people take it lying down? Do they get used to it? Did early African Americans take it lying down? Well, yes they did. Until that lady stood up for her right to sit where the hell she wanted on that goddamn bus. One fucking bus. A normal day. Made her a hero of sorts. It made sense then. It makes sense now. Chain reaction, anyone?

Things are not that bad, say in an Asian petri dish where equal opportunity does not usually follow the message of unity that is being thoughtlessly drilled into countless minds. Unity. Inhabitants (of the petri dish, microbes and other minute things) live in harmony. Relative freedom. Everything seems to be going on fine. Even though the inhabitants realize that invisible barriers are limiting the choices and moves of a few but yet are acting as stepping stones for different microorganisms. For the sake of the well being of the entire petri dish, these things exist. For what exactly? Is someone going to make a stand eventually? Say enough is fucking enough? Will it make a difference? It’s there, and I don’t see an end to it for a long, long time. The other organisms have all found ways to overcome the invisi-barrier. Took them some work but they’re doing the best they can. Survivors. Most of the organisms actually understand each other’s problems, wants and needs but confrontations arise from time to time. Especially due to the actions and words of the small number of fucktards in the population.
*The writer loves his petri dish very much and realizes that not all of the microbes (and bacteria) can be generalized and classified as simply as stated. He did so for his own convenience. After all he can’t be arsed to do more homework than needed for the post due to it being solely for ranting purposes and realizes that when he wakes up tomorrow he may regret ever posting it due to it being slightly out of context but extremely true. (Every Bloody Word) Yes, he is pissed but he only gets this pissed once in a while. This makes him an extremely suitable life partner as he always feels bad and will buy you something expensive the day after. Don’t push it, and you’ll be fine. All I am saying [We’re back on the petri dish] is that it can just take one small thing to change the course of history as we know it. Imagine if one, tiny, insignificant microorganism just said, “Hmm, I see your point. But I think I deserve it as much as any other one here. More so in fact because I actually worked for it. I’ve lived in this petri dish my whole life. I deserve it.” The issues it is talking about can range from A-Z. Anything he is stopped from doing based on the thoughts and wishes of one group of microorganisms. My DOG I’m like a bloody Ahma talking on and on like this. Like complaining to a neighbor or something. If you read this and feel the way I feel, fine. If you don’t/disagree, thats fine too. It’s not like either one of us can do anything about it anyway.

God this reminds me so much of Averdims bunny post which was awesome [by the way]. The link to his site is on right. My college life is over. Graduation here I come.

New techno-ey shit ive been listening to. Pretty nice. “Vampires Are Alive” some Swiss DJ. Go checketh it out. Not sure how old or if its already in clubs. But seeing as how late Euro stuff gets here (the arrival of the numa numa song 50billion years after it was released had me LMFAO for a long time) I doubt it.

pSyCh

Posted by azngeek at January 9th, 2007

Psych stole my thunder.  (Psych is Jon, Azngeek is me Tim, for the record, again!)
I was thinking of posting something has heart wrenching as that after having this stupidly painful conversation. Not with myself. That would just be weird. Not to say that I don’t talk to myself like I am doing so now. But that’s completely beside the point. Psych still stole my thunder. My moment of truth. To make people cry. To know that us masculine sensitive blokes still exist.
Psych talked about Y. And I won’t disclose her fullname either. For me, it’s V. She’s in league with Y. The type of girl that would make a man’s man, cry to sleep. They make us men feel like we are falling, falling a million miles from grace. From safety. To an abyss. V and another girl have made me felt like that. So I’m one down from psych. Everyone else have just very much been emotional rebounds. Ricocheting off the edges the cliffs from what would otherwise have been a painless free fall until the moment of collision. It really does suck big dirty Harry’s balls, when you think about it. That us masculine men would be rendered to masculine men that cry to themselves when they are alone in the corner of a dark room with grey walls and a freaky potrait of a perverted old man eyeing the masculine man. Quite disgusting really. I still refuse to believe that us men of men can just crumble. But then again, girls like that, with their smell, their smiles and their sickeningly perfect sense of fashion that seem to be aimed to go for a kill, without a license to do so, can do many things to a man.
I think that’s all for now… busy. Damn.

Kthxbye.

Azngeek

Posted by azngeek at December 17th, 2006

I realize that I’ve not been posting much, thus the double whammy. Two articles tonight. And this one, seeing how most of the other articles have more of a male innuendo and point of view. I therefore would like to write an article with a female twist to it.

Let me start off with a quote from some stupid elderly housewives that have nothing better to do.

“It’s better to be an old men’s darling, than a young men’s sweetheart.”

This quote itself if taken apart from a male’s perspective would and could become quite sexually, urm…. yea. Enough said. SO as I was saying, article for the female population. Tricks to look out for in guys, and if they use these tricks, divorce their ass and take half of their property, OR challenge them on the grounds that you’ve already read of such trivial tricks on the one and only azngeek.com.

So we all know, when most males are young and foolish, they try so hard to please the female. Right? Right. Of course I’m right. God… how long have you people been reading my articles, yet you still question. To the naughty stool!

I digress. So back to the topic at hand. Guys, before marriage.

It’s honey. Darling. Sugar pie. Honey bunch. Cupcake. Chocolate. Fried Chicken. Big Mac. etc. Maybe not the last few. But you get the gist of it. And it’s constant whispering of sweet nothings. You know. All the sweet stuff. Random gifts. Sweet thoughts. An iron grid memory of important dates. All that kinda good stuff. Yea? Agreed? Good. Ooo. And the first kiss. Yea. That’s a ball wrenching moment. Because after that, every kiss becomes much like protocol. Hey honey. *kiss* Bye Honey *kiss* Lets have sex *kiss* You look good today *kiss* After sex *kiss* etc. And they’ll do anything and everything for you. Clean the toilets. Wash the dishes. Iron the clothes. Lick your feet. (Ugh, sick feet fetish people) That all falls under the category of young men’s sweetheart.

Then when the men aren’t so old. It’s the transformation to old men’s bitch! ZOMG. How is this an article for the women? Well this is a guide to point out if YOUR MAN falls under this category, you can divorce the son of a bitch. Rip his balls off. And have beautiful break up sex.(I highly recommend the breakup sex. It offers closure to the relationship. But breakup sex before the ball ripping is far enjoyable. That’s my recommendation. It helps the healing process too!) So again back to the guide. If your man used to do all that shit. And used to offer you all that kinky sex that you desired. And didn’t mind all the foreplay. Would do as much foreplay as you required. All that kinda crap. If he stops that shit. That means you’ve become an old man’s bitch. Makes you grab him a cold beer. Doesn’t do the house hold chores. Makes excuses like, oh I’ve got meetings, or the best one I’ve heard yet. I’ve got allergies. Can’t touch soap, or dust. Etc. Then you’ve become an old man’s bitch. Highly simple, yet 99% of the female population can’t get this. Which brings me to the point brought up by Borat.

“The head scientist of Khazakstan have found that the female brain is smaller than peanuts.”

So ask yourself this. Are you a young man’s sweetheart. Are you now an old man’s bitch? Now ask yourself, should I divorce the mother fucker.

And about the old man’s darling. That’ll come up in my next article with a female twist. As incomplete as this guide may be, or should I say as awesome as it maybe, that’s all I’ll give you for now to satiate your appetite. If you are still hungry for more, go have hot kinky sex. I hear that’s almost as good as reading a new article from the azngeek. And for you people who can’t have hot kinky sex, there’s always your hand. Just be creative.

Peace out,

Azngeek

Posted by psych at December 11th, 2006

The island was really great. Beautiful. I mean. Nothing compared to P. Kapas or like Redang and stuff. But theres just so much awesome looking hugeass islands surrounding it. Its just different. Anyways, my awesome 3 day *more like 2 day but wth* vacation began normal. The bus screwed up. It went furthur than we needed to go. An extra hour wasted but that was fine. Missed the first ferry there coz of misinformation and camwhores =). Erm.. reached there at night. Getting the hotel etc was hitchless. Thanks to awesome planning by me.. Ahem. Anyways this post is gonna be an almost moment by moment recall by me. Almost like a journal entry. But who am i kidding. Its not. Read on please.
Almost knocked a cow on the way there. Darn stupid blind huge cow. It was almost pitch black and the roads were crap. Ron was driving. Revved coz there was a huge stretch of empty road in front. The aforementioned cow ran to the middle of the road before realizing it couldnt pass the whole way because of traffic on the other lane. It therefore reversed and that was when Ron hit the brakes. Ppl were screaming like little girls. Who can blame em. We were seriously close. I think we brushed next to the cow when we came to a stop. Jez wasnt filming. That wouldve made a great holiday vid.
Got to hotel. Went out for dinner really late. Thai stuff. Had a sore throat so i was pretty annoyed with it. Awesome lemon/lime warm drink thing was heaven. Argh. Someone bought some smokes. Waste of money imo coz it didnt get used up properly. Bought beer. A bottle of pink vodka Ron suggested cuz it was in some commercial. 5% stuff. Reminded me of some punch drink. Pretty good. Appletinis. Lmao. Got a whatdoyacallit.. carton or beer? Erm.. flashed an old white dude. with the headlights. We saw a whole load of overdressed imo white ppl chiling at a pub thing next to an overpriced but clean beach. We got back to the hotel. Some interesting and some very very bad ghost stories were told. Beers were put in the fridge cuz they were hot. warm whatever. Had tea. Throat still killing me. Ended up sleeping in a bed with two other guys because well.. haha. I had no choice. 2 beds with 5 guys.. Its simple math =). Ron and Jez. Mmm. I think I survived fine.=/

Morning.. woke up later than expected. breakfast etc. Went to the tiniest Megamall I have ever seen in my life. OMFG. Each floor has a parking capacity of what 9 cars? Hell yeah for the pharmacy there. Got throat stuff. Mmmm. Spent some time there.. Got chocs for some very important people. Was gonna go to a supposedly awesome beach next.

Packed up a few beers. Got rammed into by a damn motorcyclist on the way. Well we took the wrong road and was gonna go back. Anyway long story short. The car door was wrecked. Settled the problem with the fucker and his fucking fuck of a motorbike. Those were the longest minutes of my life. Waiting… Paying the car dude made us broke. Seriously broke. Starved the next day. Anyway, finished all the beers and the JD San bought. The best night possibly of my life. Happiness after that crappy day was heaven. CC got slightly out of control. But he threw the lighter out so someone couldnt smoke. Which was good. =) Erm.. I was happy like I said. Neways, I didnt drink that much anyway. Like just enough to get happy and sleep.. Dreamless. Yeah. Woke up. Ferry back, bus back. Ron was pukey.

I have no beautiful island beach pics cuz haha. We didnt do anything beachy except get kinda drunk on the dirty private resort beach. It was pitch black at night so.. not nice beach pics. Maybe next time. That was imo the most awesomest worst trip of my life. Alot of details left out. Like the condoms. Well, lets leave it at that altho its prolly not what youre thinking. I think that was it. The gist anyway. Haha. I smell sex and candy. Marcy playground. Nice song. Gotta go. I need more Warcraft than I’m getting. Bought all my presents. Think i didnt leave anyone out. Saw a transgendered individual in Ikano. or was it IKEA. I forget. pretty obvious imo but not everyone has my keen sense of spotting them. I think I’m free to say that they creep me out even tho i think im very very open. Very open. Gots to go. AZNGeeks still not done with exams ithink. He left me pretty lonely here.

btw, heroes is nice. very nice. its like what i wanted lost to be before it became fucked up. if it doesnt change, i think i’ll watch it until it ends. =)

oh yeah. the ferry back had a movie playing. a 9/11 show. i learnt a new phrase. Out standing Rice. No not Condy. Jeremy=Outstanding Rice. According to the crappy subtitles anyways. Haha. Jez has new name. I want warcraft. And Benny Benassi to be my slave and dj for me every night. dreaming on.
pSyCh

Posted by psych at November 4th, 2006

After a long break, Ill give you a good one. A long one, not particularly good, but its good enough for ya. I wont be posting until my exams are over and after comingi back from langkawi. so ill be back in december =) haha. I think… Azn should b back by then so dont stop comin. Here it goes:
OMFG. I think I’m a geek. I never did until recently. Just for fun, I listed out my most geekiest qualities vs my most ungeekiest (akin to what Ross did with Rachel and Julie). I think I just almost quoted from Friends. Meh, nothing wrong there. Btw, you can use the points below to see if you are a geek. You probably are.

1. I reformat drives (mostly sis’ friends) . AND THEN CHARGE THEM FOR IT! Cause its cheaper than going to the shop to do it. RM50 per job. RM70 for laptops. The mark of a cunning geek. I dont charge friends tho. But that doesnt mean you should call me everytime you need to reformat =) Friends, I do for free.
   I do my friends for free. Haha.I’ll do you for free.. but only if youre my friend. If youre my friend, let me do you..
   Its getting old. Ill stop now.
2. I know much more about computers than I should. But not as much as alot of people do. Like programming.. Im all like WTTFFF are those characters etc.. Does a geek need to know some programming to be considered a geek? I actually thought that mostly everyone knew how to do things like fix in some RAM, or a gfx card, or a drive, or a processor etc. etc. It never really occured to me that many people are freaked out about touching stuff in there. Touch me there… No.. Im scared to.. What? Seriously? I never thought that was possible! Lmao, I guess you learn new things every day. So.. You want me to touch you there? Yes, please.. Ok.. Omg.. It feels so good. I guess I’m a geek now! *one of the things talking there is a pc if you didnt notice*
3. My head swims with pleasure when I look at hot modded casings. i think some people still call them CPU’s. I used to until I learned what those were =). If you still do, please stop. It has alot of names.. Chassis? Like cars I guess. Anyway, the cool ones make me feel good. Almost as good as a nice looking girl.

Right. Now for the ungeeko list. Which I had to concentrate to make btw..

1. I’m crap with alot of computer thingys. Networking, er, Case modding, overclocking, and i dont keep up with anything new. The last updated review on processors i read was the p4EE i think. Is it EE? extreme edition i htink. But duh i know about the duo core. Just havent bothered to look it up to see how it compares with the others. Slong as its new, and has a cool name, i think its good enough.
2. Same with Graphics cards. Got myself a cheap 6200 cos it was.. well cheap. Didnt bother to look for reviews and stuff. Yep, ive gotten very weird. It was convenient to just buy it and not worry about how itll run weird games like FEAR (which i kinda got bored with). Oh and if FEAR is not a good way to test your card now, that just shows how out of touch i am. At leat i didnt say halo right? or dungeon keeper? DK Is a Great Game. If only I were In Primary School Again Playing It For The First Time. That Afternoon was the Best One Ever.
3. Try as I might, I dont identify with any true blue self declared geeks. (AznGeeks probably the only one =) ) After all, they make fun of you for not knowing the difference between c++ and java. They laugh when you say you dont remember what gfx card youre using because they all have like ATI XX999(i think that doesnt exist) cards or Nvidia 9990GTXXXX cards. They kick you when you say you dont care about AMD or Intel, and they hit you when you tell them that you have under 150GB of hd space. Haha.

Nah. nothing like that has ever happened. I mean I only know one guy right now in college who actually considers himself a geek. The mind is a powerful tool to invent ways for geeks to torment you. I dont like talking about computer stuff cos i dont know much and dont really want to know any more. On the other hand, my other friends dont know the difference between the bios and the motherboard (roflmao hahaahahahahahaha). -_-

Its almost like being a bisexual in the midst of straight people (my regular friends) and gay people (the geek) (btw i made the geek gay cos i think there are less of them so the ratio is more appropriate.) Azngeek can be gay too. See, its like, choose one, and hear about how someone paid 100 bucks for the mahai guy at the pc shop to reformat his pc or go to the other side and hear about how the new GTS920XX-T2 motherboard has a new twin PCIExpress slot to double the graphics processing power of your system or how the new CreativeSoundBlasterAudigyPrimeContraPrime 9.1 soundcard sounds awesome on their 10 speaker configuration. I like hearing both. So its like having the best of both worlds, but never actually being IN any of those worlds.

Haha. Long rant. Most of it was just me exagerrating but as usual there is some truth*out there* in there. On a totally different note,

BEWARE OF THE GAY HAIRDRESSER IN SUBANG SQUARE.

Just a random community message, from your friendly neighbourhood
pSyCh.

Have a good weekend. And dont forget to disinfect after youre done. Cya in a month or so.

Posted by psych at October 18th, 2006

Pulled some tendon thingy in my neck… Woke up to find my head hanging off my bed. Moving it hurt like hell. I look slightly retarded now cos I have to turn my whole body around while keeping my head extremely straight when talking to someone on my right. It’s become second nature. I’m not whining. I know its not a big deal. I’m not gonna start parking in those disabled spots. I doubt Ill be driving much until I can actually turn my head. Count dota out too. Any free time I have will have to be spent in the library. Studying. I require large amounts of creening my neck over so I can shout/talk to someone a few comps over while I cyber (NOT SEX!!!)

Did that get your attention? Or did you just skim past the sex part and came right here…?

Now on to the good stuff. Something extremely important. Its even more important than nature and the environment =) Not. You know theres nothing more important than trees.. and the ocean.. and the birds.. and the bees.. Pun intended 100%

So it seems that Rice just reaffirmed that the US WILL DEFEND JAPAN AGAINST NORTH KOREA AT ALL COSTS!!

Thats basically like saying dont build weapons to protect yourself because we are scared you might use it against us someday. Btw, you dont really need them because we have em and are willing to test them when you are attacked =DDD

That was just a cheap shot at the US. I prefer them to NK anyday. Maybe China will join in the nuclear barrage once N.Korea lets loose? Japan will be left… well pretty much how the US left them some time ago.. What a twist. Who woulda thunk it? Can you imagine what would happen after the North bombs the South? First of all the NK citizens (who are wholly retarded and not deserving of any symphaty whatsoever) will be informed by the government that THE WORLD IS OUT TO GET US!!!! SOUTH KOREA BOMBED US!! JAPAN BOMBED US!!  USA BOMBED US!! WE MUST FIGHT!! OR DIE!!!

The people will stand firm by their country while the US and maybe Europe? opens a large can of whoopass on them. Btw, the people are not to blame. They know no better. Theyre just unlucky enough to be born a few km north. Damn that northern wind..

Dont mind the verbalized thoughts up there. Just typing as fast as my brain thinks. Therefore, as usual, they are not fact checked and not thought fully through. But reflect my personal feeling about that issue. MY NECK HURTS LIKE A BITCH!!!! OMG ITS BAD. I wanna rest my head on someones shoulders. But itll hurt too much. There I go again. Ill stop before I type something embarassing. I still like Barney. I never stopped loving him/it!

Cheers.

pSyCh

Posted by azngeek at October 7th, 2006

You know what really grinds my gears. Products denoted with the words “lite”, “zero”, “diet”, “sugar-free”, and for you fucking pepsi drinkers. Pepsi “Max”. “B-b-butttt, it’s because you know. I need to keep my figure.”

Wrong you moron. For anyone who actually thought of that. You are wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Die now and do us all a favor. So as I was saying. W-T-F is wrong with you shit for brains people. Why buy shitty products like that? “Oh I’m counting my calories” says the guy behind me. Now where is my tazer. I’ll freagin taze some sense into that imbecile. *sets to high voltage-omfg-this-is-going-to-hurt-me-more-than-it-will-hurt-you*

Or for once. I could be wrong. And you could be in a lot more pain than me. I don’t really mind. Just so long as I can shove some high voltage up your ass, I’m all good. All happy. But I guess we can’t do much about the morons who go out and buy the said products. Even if you did gas all of them. The offspring of the more sensical ones, will then de-evolve, and will continue to purchase the said products. So what’s the only other option apart from destroying the entire human race? Hmmm. It’s a toughie. I can’t think of a way. I’m stumped. For once. Or twice. Bleh. Shut up.

Soooo. If we can’t beat em’, I say join them. I have the most diabolical-EVEL plan to beat these fuckers at their own game. And I’ll call it. Super-Lite-Diet-Zero. SLDZ for short. Pronounced as se-le-de-ze. Se-Le-De-Ze. You feel me? Right.

So what is the said Se-Le-De-Ze? It’s better than all the fagoty products out there. Diet Coke. Pffbt. Pepsi Max. Please. Pringles Lite? Don’t make me laugh. Here’s the SLDZ to rule them all. One product to rule them. One product to bind them. One product to make my asian ass rich. I still have not actually revealed what, SLDZ is, have I? So keep on reading.

SLDZ, is all those fucked up versions of some good products (with the exception of pepsi. You guys suck big hairy monkey balls), put into one. Much like captain planet. Only. SLDZ is more environmentally friendly. And it’ll make me big bucks.

So think about it. What do all those products have in common? Apart from being a shittier version of the original? And sucking big hairy monkey balls? *slaps forhead* You morons still haven’t picked it up yet? Do I have to point everything out myself. Gah. The lower calorie count, the lower percentage of fat content, the good feeling of eating something that’s bad for you but you can deny it because of the clever/fucked up advertising with the label “lite, etc as above” So the product I proposed, SLDZ, will be what I call that thing I’ve just placed in your hands reader.

Yes you heard me. I’ve just given you all SLDZ over the in-ter-web. You all have it. I’ve given you a free sample. (I can sell it virtually too! Am I going to be rich or what) You can’t see it? Because you are far too inferior intelectually, so your sense of smell, and sight can’t pick it up. Now, shove it in your mouth. Mmm.mmm good. Finger licking good. Better than anything I’ve ever/You’ve ever tasted. And plus. This is a truly guilt free snack. Zero calories, is an even shittier version of the original product(s) (People are so going to buy SLDZ), and it’ll give you an even better feeling that you aren’t actually shoving shit down your throat. SO is this an amazing plan or what. And plus. think about the marketing potential.

Competitors work with just one-uno-fuc-ked-word. We have 4 at our disposal. Super-Lite-Diet-Zero. How is anyone going to beat that? How is it going to even be possible to beat that. Exactly. You can’t. And we can strike a deal with the superheroes of the realm. After all. This product is super. And then I’ll be rich. And I’ll be all pimp and shit. And sexy. And and desirable!

Note : Hi fellow readers. Meet my alter ego. AznSneak. Quite the debut, don’t you think? He’s almost as creative as I am. Go AznSneak
(edit)

(edit AGAIN) Fuck you azngeek. I mean. I’m azngeek

(edit AGAIN AGAIN) Stfu aznsneak you noob. You have been revealed to the entire in-ter-web

(edit AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN) ZOMG. You mofo. I’m going to taze your ass azngeek.

(edit AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN) Bring it bitch. I’ll pop a cap in yo’ ass yo!

*bam bam bam* Noooo. *whimper* Gahhh. Not the tazer. Bzzzt. Ahhhh. Not the belt. NOT THE BELT. *Crash* *Boom *Bang*

Talk about a short debut. I think that might be the last of aznsneak. Azngeek has prevailed! Or not… dum dum dum, or maybe I’m aznsneak pretending to be azngeek. The plot thickens.

Azngeek (Or AM I?)

PS: For any of you that didn’t pick it up. The title is an allusion toward the phrase “hit you where the sun don’t shine” or not

Posted by psych at September 15th, 2006

flu..

that darn word.

Sigh. Guess its all that crap I’ve been eating. Or some asshole on the train who didn’t know any better sneezed/coughed on me. Either way, whats done is done, I just have to be patient now and hope its not some rare strain *cough*birdflu*couch*

Nah… the chances of that happening is what.. 1 in 100 million? Sounds about right.

The doctor took his time molesting my chest with his steel tool. Again and again. He kept rubbing it. Hard. Then soft. Then hard again. Well he didnt alternate hard and soft. But he really did keep it on my chest for a long time. Made me breathe in around 18 times. I thought 4 is the maximum doctors were supposed to go?

Anyways its official cos its from the doctor(I knew I was sick the moment I started feeling like crap). Im sick. My throats annoying me so much i feel like pouring acid down it just to make the feeling go away. My nose is incontinent. My head’s better tho. Headaches are gone. I think thats cos of the meds but I’m thankful nonetheless. Skipped last three periods yesterday. Took my chem quiz during 3rd period instead of 6th. I love my chem teacher. I really do. I’m sure that bitch of a woman teaching me math would made some stupid excuse about protocol or regulations or something equally lame.

THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THIS POST

Browsing music forums and fans of this guy were so persistent that I just had to listen to his music to see what the big deal was about. A short clip from one of his songs coming up. I think its short enough not to make you wait more than 3 minutes to dload. I like it. Kinda Damien Ricey but without the accent and hes way better imo =) Unfortunately his albums arent available anywhere out of the US (thats the downside to liking indie artists cos they dont have the cash to promote internationally. I dont see why he and other indie artists who are actually talented have to slog so hard and people like Ashlee Simpson who are honestly not talented but have rich parents/sisters get to go international automatically wihtout even trying. Her voice aint nothing to brag about either. And its not just Ashlee, but shes pretty bad. I was an Ashlee fan once(when i was young and naive). Her songs are catchy stuff but after a while we all see her for what she really is… something im not gonna mention here. I’m not even gonna begin to talk about that damn Paris Hilton.

Sacha Sacket. Indie artist

Nice song. Enjoy.
Sacha Sacket - The Prodigal

Posted by azngeek at September 10th, 2006

A fat mofo middle aged who sits in front of his computer all day and watches porn. Actaully not quite. Except for the fat part, and being on the computer. And the porn. No fuck the porn. I don’t need it. My imaginary girlfriend gives it to me good. Or not. (not to the porn and the imaginary girlfriend, though I wish I had one, YOU WOULDN’T DENY ME OF AN IMAGINARY ONE WOULD YOU GOD? I MEAN, I CAN’T HAVE A REAL ONE…SOOOOOO HOW ABOUT AN IMAGINARY ONE?)… yea, I hear you, I’m not good enough. It’s always the same story. *wince* And you wonder what goes through the azngeek’s head constantly, don’t you….

Anyways, yea home baked cookies. I love home baked cookies. Especially when they are so god damn gluttinously good. There’s two stages when it comes to cookie eating.

BC (Before Cookie)
And then you have
AC (After Cookie)
Yeap guys. the two stages. BC and AC.  Well if you guys are wondering how the azngeek looks like. It’s very much 24/7 AC. All those tasty home baked cookies are all mine! That’s right bitches. All mine. Mineeee. Yayyyy. I think i’ll die when I’m 25 of a clogged arteri, or other heart complications. Meh. Yea. I’m fat. Really fat. But fat people are cool. Fat people were fat, before phat was phat. So fuck off. And step off.

Time for more AC.

Azngeek

Posted by psych at September 10th, 2006

We watched a video in my English class. To Kill A Mockingbird. We’re studying the book. Its a really old movie based on the… wait for it…… wait for it….. the book. -_-

Anyway, like I was saying it is really really old but still managed to evoke something in me. Like a tiny prick you get on your finger when you use one of those blood testing thingys. It was almost unnoticable.. but you know there is a hole in your finger (cos duh theres blood coming out). In this case I knew that the movie affected me in some way no matter how small. We… all know the story right? Right….?

Scout Finch = Whiny, Annoying Little .. Runt = Narrator+Main Charactor = Daughter of Atticus Finch
Atticus Finch = Lawyer Guy
Lawyer defends black man
Black man accused of raping white girl
White girl is a wreck and can’t get story straight
It’s obvious that black man = innocent man
Black man is found guilty
Black man dies
More stuff happens.

Thats the gist of it. Its pretty much mostly just a book where you can transport yourself back to the south in America way back then. Its … how a girl grows up and realizes the (ugly) truth about alot of people. It places importance in the innocence of children. Blah… blah. Just try and read it if you get the chance. It might not have the appeal of Harry Potter(why is that the king of comparisons nowadays? Damn you Rowling) but the issues are real and interesting enough to keep you reading.

I’m wondering why I typed that out. I think its cos its good stuff.
Really?
Yea, I guess.. I mean its interesting and poignant to todays society.
C’mon man, dont feed me and them that crap. Its plain ol’ filler and you know it.
Darn you. Don’t tell me what I should or shouldn’t type.
Hey, man.. I’m just trying to help.
Well, you’re really not helping. I’m actually thinking of getting rid of it now.
Then do it. What’s holding you back?
Shut up. I need to think.
No. You need a shrink.
………
………
Are you still there?
…….. Yea.
Damn. What are you?
I am you. I am me. I am us.
So… you’re in my head?
Only if you think I am.
So if I think you’re not.. then..
Yes, then I’m not.
But, even then.. you’ll be there…..
………………….

o0. Getting on with the post. Was chatting with a nice girl some time ago who almost just broke up with her boyfriend. She says her girlfriends don’t have time to talk to her. That struck me as weird. Girls always huddle around the brokenhearted one, right? It seemed like an unwirtten contract in my mind that girls all follow without question. Even guys do it. =) Her friends didnt really like him anyway so maybe thats the exception. So I was being a good friend and just talking things out with her. This meant mostly agreeing with alot of things that she said. So anyway, the breakdown of what she ranted about: (btw i got her permission to blog about this as long as i dont mention anything else about her so dont think im a horrible person to confide in =)

Guys are heartless
Loved him so so much
Feels like sleeping and not waking up cos this is like her worst nightmare come true
Yearns to embrace him all the time
Feels like begging him to come back and wants to threaten him with her safety etc.
Wants to bury her head in some of those soft toy thingys he gave her and just imagine that it didnt happen.
Wants to smell his cap which she still has and says smells of his hair gel. (fetish? haha.)
Doesnt feel like doing anything anymore. (Locked herself in her room and has been crying for a few hours at this point)

Sigh no? Dumb guy. Shes a great (hot hot hot) girl. He must be gay. Or just a dumbass. Or a gay dumbass. Or an asexual weirdo. Or just a weirdo. Or a gay weirdo. Or just plain asexual. Shes still kinda not over him at the moment but shes getting on fine.

She reminded me of me.. but her case was a little more extreme. I remember the smelling thing very well tho. Mmmm. Anyway, it was nice, comforting her and just making her feel good about herself. Like self-therapy but with benefits =) I am such a good friend. One of the best. I didnt have any other motives. I was just there and she was just needy.(not needy as in annoying needy. Just needy)

Had a weekload of tests. Averaged a 77 in chemistry for my mid term. I hate smartasses who get over 80. I Hate. No I dont really hate. I Envy =)
Chem test went well as could be expected. My calculator died halfway and I wasted 5 minutes waiting for the lect to get hers. Such a sweet lady. Cant complain tho. Coulda been worse. Not really but it could have. Unlucky bastard I am. That reminds me..

Watched an old edu video during chem explaining equilibrium and I Can Swear That It Was A Sexually Suggestive Vid. There was the parts with the iodine and hydrogen atoms banging each other again and again and again and again and again. Over and over and over. Then there was the “dancefloor” analogy which was.. er… I2 molecules are girl moleculess and H2 are boy molecules. When I2 and H2 bang, HI is formed. But HI also “breaks up”(get it?) and becomes H2 and I2 again. Then when there are too many boys, they will “surround” the girl [illustrated in the vid by showing the “girl” in the middle of a ring of “boys”. They then rub against each other and PooF, HI is formed again. You have to see it to believe it. =) that was one fun class. Even the innocent girls at the front got the reference so it goes to show, you dont have to be a perv(which im not) to read between the lines. Its that or they arent so innocent after all.

Almost died on the way to watch Little Man. Friend driving the car realized his side mirrors was out of focus halfway there and later had to swerve to avoid banging headfirst into a lorry coming around the corner cos he was on the wrong side of the friggin road cos he thought it was a one-way. (it was seriously close im not exaggerating)
Hmm. All in all a pretty good trip. Cant blame him for reckless driving tho. Always Blame The Lorries. Always. Even if you’re in the wrong. Its either the lorries of the Motorcyclists. Or Jews. Or Muslims. Or Americans. Or Extremists. Or The Government. Or Drugs. Or Parents. Or Pre-Marital Sex.

Watched Little Man…. It kinda bombed in my mind but thats just cos I thought white chicks was hilarious. There were great moments tho. Like the bouncy part(s). You’ll know what I mean if you watch(ed) it. Where’s my Scary Movie 5 muthaf*****z??! Wheres my Anna Faris?@!?

Have a nice weekend guys. I know I will.

Cyaz.

pSyCh

Posted by azngeek at September 9th, 2006

You know what really grinds my gears people? Well apart from my younger sister who refuses to take advice and constantly rebutts with the same old line. “Why would you care anyways, You never cared!” when she stupidly doesn’t know that I know about things, about the stupid acts and doings that would put her in absolute shit with the parents, and have kept it to myself for I see no good that can come from it letting it out in the open. Yea. But fuck it, ok, I’ve had it. Time after time. I think she’ll just have to learn from her mistakes as grave as they may become. I can’t give a rats ass. I probably shouldn’t digress from the actual rant though, heh.

So yes, what am I to rant about eh? Well, if god should smite people, he should seriously consider smiting teenage girls who eat so impossibly slow and waste at least half their food that they order. Like, come on, think about all the starving kids in Ethiopia. And what really gets me is when these lala-bitches (they are most probably strong “advocates” for charity, (good for popularity contests) for god knows what reasons, they can’t even take care of themselves properly) lecture you on their values and how they are so fucking right in their ways. It really gets me worked up. Fuck you. I don’t need to listen to you fucking whine. I don’t give a shit. No one gives a shit. I don’t give a flying rats ass that you think you are the shit.

So, they eat impossibly slow, in my asian case, the asian girls eat 10 grains of rice and chew 200000000+1 times, and then they only eat fucking half or a quarter of what they order, and they take blimming 10000 times longer than everyone else at the table, and they don’t even blink. They don’t even show any remorse. No form of humility, and self respect. These fucktards should be jailed, and be forced to eat shit as a rehabilitation program so when they come out, at least they’ll appreciate food and not waste it, and will eat at a reasonable speed.

Steps to recovery

1. Admitting you have a problem
2. Seeking support and help from family and friends
3. Growing a brain
4. If all else fails, kill yourself, because the world needs less morons like you

I’ve had an angry depressing weekend, so shut the fuck up if you have a problem with what I say and start whining about it without anything constructive to say. If you want to argue a point, by all means but I will tolerate no bullshit. I don’t need it. If you find the uncontrollable need go fuck yourself, or go watch your aged wrinkly people porn, and then take deep breaths, and then come back.

Random Quote: “What is FTW? Is it WTF backwards?” -Stupid Ignorant Person- 

NOTE: FTW is for teh win. WTF is what the fuck for any other ignoramuses out there (a new word, ignoramuses -> ignorant person)
Azngeek.

Posted by psych at September 2nd, 2006

I am lying in the open at dawn. Dew wet on my eyelashes. On the grass. In my mind. Clawing away at what I think might be the cause of my ignorance. My bitterness. Dreaming of emerging from the fog. The dense fog is on me. Suffocating me. Impaling me painlessly. Slowly, seeping into my being. Clouding my mind. Entering my soul.

Ahh.. refreshing thoughts emerge as i sippeth the l33test coffee on earth. It feels like I’m depriving myself somehow when I force myself to stay awake without actually planning on doing anything productive. I would study but I want to stay awake a little longer. It’s only 1.30 am anyways. No biggie. I’ve done much worse. Just thought I’d update this little space with stuff.

Had dinner at an obscure restaurant(roadside) in Subang with a few friends. All trying to hit on the only girl among us. Fun, healthy competition. Not really, more like, just bored people waiting for food. Anyways a average looking dude walked up to us and showed us a little something something in a cd holder/folder thingy. Me, being the good, law-abiding human being that I am motioned for the little fucker to move away whilst everyone else just ignored him. Contrary to popular belief, (my belief anyway) he didnt just go. He started advertising to me in Cantonese(since i was the only one paying attention i think). All I understood from it was a few ‘ho’s with a few thumbs ups and an annoying grin. Business not going so well? I guess with everyone but horny old men without computers getting everything they need straight online theyve run out of many potential customers. Idiots at the table were grinning. I told you we were bored. I said no thanks. He kept going. I did the next best thing. Maaf, tak nak. Still no reaction. Summing up what little I could, I sounded “Ngo mm oi” making it sound as TVBish as I could as not to confuse the idiot with a weird accent. Didnt know if it was correct or not but I was desperate. Cmon English AND Malay. I dont really get it in the first place. He could clearly see that I didnt understand a word he was saying yet kept bombarding me with what seemed like cheap, interesting, dvd covers. The dude didnt bat an eye, he started advertising in broken english. This caused some asses at the table to lol. “This very good quality, very expensive other place one. Very cheap here. Can buy alot for cheap.” The guy had a freaking sales pitch. For Freaking Pirated DVDS! What has the world come to? I think I saw a porno while he flipped a little. Argh, anything to get peoples attention. Guess what, he didnt even pretend to hear me. I think hes probably a deaf guy selling dvds to benefit his hearing-impaired society. Ok, that was unnecesarry. No disabled jokes. Even here =) Sorry ppl. I feel bad already. Just trying to reason his behaviour. So I did what I should have done earlier. I looked away. Started talking about random stuff with the guys at the table. All this time the guy was just standing there. 20 seconds later, he walked away. Now, I really dont get it. Previous DVD sale attempts on me were made with the exact same pattern.

• Walk up, show DVDs for 2 seconds.
• Wait for response.
• Stealthily walk to next table if not interested or if interested, stealthily get info and make transaction.

I actually thought there was some kind of code where you didnt stand longer than 5 seconds next to a table if you werent wanted. I guess there are anomalies in every group. Ima say a lil prayer for him (the black sheep of the pirated DVD industry).
Oh weirdo DVD dude, may you not bother me ever again. May you have no business for the next month and be forced to resort to better ways to earn a living. And may your balls itch insanely whenever you interrupt people with your porno, always, now and forever. Amen.

Im off to bed.

pSyCh

Posted by azngeek at August 26th, 2006

Ok, you know what, I really should be at my books nerding away like a bitch getting high on crack. But I won’t. For you my readers, I shan’t deny you from high quality azngeek content with the high quality azngeek stamp of approval. Not just yet. But today might just be the last day of me posting for a week and a half. I’ll get to nerding as soon as soon as the azngeek unleashes the wrath of his verbal diarohea on you non-existential readers though he’s seriously beginning to doubt his readers as being completely non-existential.(speaking in third-person is stupid. back to first-person-speek!)The comments seem real. Almost too real. I remember when azngeek.com first started out, as thought it was yesterday.*whispers* I commented on my own post, with varying aliases, to boost my diminshing ego. Ok, fine I didn’t post my own comments. But that’s something all together. I digress. Back on topic to the beefu mobile! What is beefu you might be asking yourself (or more interestingly porn balls), you not-so-very-non-existential readers. Well, I’m here to talk about one of my favorite chinese joints. Some of the best Chinese in the southern hemisphere. They cook good chinese. Mmm chinese. Cook those little asian babies!!!! I mean. Urm. They cook amazing chinese food! =P Though I did hear from somewhere that azn babies taste sweet and sour (that’s an ongoing joke between some of the guys that I doubt any of you will get) (I think it’s quite weird how people say, eat chinese, or cook chinese. It has two meanings. One with a very much more cannibalistic undertone)
Soooo… urm back on topic. As per usual, I stray like a urm.. stray urm dog? So urm bout this place which serves awesome food. They have an awesome Maître d’. Why? Because she’s efficient, she has made an art of taking orders, she keeps customers happy, knows how to treat them. She’s just all around amazing at her job, but most of all, she has great fantabulous entertainment value! My family are regulars at the place, but the Maître d’ never ever fails to induce a few chuckles from the ever so serious and anal retentive azngeek who is definately holier than thou art. How? Mmm, I’ll let the conversation below taken place during the ordering of food speak for itself :

Maître d’: What would you rike tonight?
Mr. A : Urm what would you recommend?
Maître d’: Would you rike meat?
Mr. A : Ok, yea meat sounds good.
Maître d’: How about some beefu!? (she meant beef)
Mr. A : Mmm maybe some pork bla bla bla
Maître d’: Ok sir. Would you rike some porn balls?
Mr. A : *wtf look inscribed across face of Mr.A* Porn balls?
Maître d’: Points at menu, under the seafood section*
Mr. A : PRAWN BALLS! OHH
Maître d’: One porn balls?
Mr.A : Ok porn balls sound fine… (he’s crying inside. He must be. Crying so hard from all that painful laughing that he’s surpressing right this instant)
Maître d’: bla bla bla
Mr.A : bla bla bla (finishes up on ordering)

The end! So. Anyone up for some Porn balls? By the way, I should add that the place does awesome fly porn balls! (fried prawn balls) :p

azngeek

Posted by azngeek at August 24th, 2006