The AznGeek

Posted by azngeek at June 20th, 2007

Haro peopre of the world. I have hijacked azngeeks site. To bring to you news of the coming of new shoes. Omg. Chun lehhhhhhh. ~~Tee hee~~

Wahlau. Wei.

WHO THE HELL TALKS LIKE THAT IN REAL LIFE. I have a bunny rabbit hostage. And I’m not afraid to use it for leverage against you annoying annoying people. And. Urm. *insert horrid details with something funky to do with cute bunny wabbit*

As I had once announced the purchase of my Asics Kayano kicks.

They sadly died on me. I completely ripped them up. 300 freagin NZDollars down the drain. Well partially because all this while i’ve been running wrong. (Eg. Like a retard. My mantra now is “Heel to toe. Heel to toe. Heel to toe. WHAT THE HELL DID I SAY BITCH. Heel to toe”. I was apparently running urm. Not heel to toe. Therefore the injuries as well. It doesn’t help that I over pronate while running either. And have wide feat. Did I mention that I could possibly be a meta human or some derivative of the sort? Well I could. I could be weird-feet-man. And. Urm. Yea. Foil dastardly evil plans with my smelly feet. Or something along those lines. Now all I need is a theme song)

Somehow though. I’ve been conned into getting another pair of Asics. (Omg they are the most comfortable bestest shoes ever. I ruv you ASICS!)

Meet the G2120. It’s not the highest end over pronating shoe from asics. That award goes to the dearly departed kayano. But the G2120 is the second one up. 250 NZD. And to get extra padding I got a podiatric (made by a podiatrist) Pad thingy. To change the soles in my new kicks (No. I don’t think it’s like a tampon.) Well. Maybe I could a kin it to a foot thong. It’s exciting. It’s comforting. It offers support (Thongs offer sufficient support don’t they?) and it makes me run faster apparently. And makes my legs far sexier. (I lie on some of the accounts. Except the podiatric pad thingy)

*sigh* kicky. Hold me now. Tell me you love me.

Well. I’ve ordered another pair Of ASICS kayano though. It’s another kayano 12. Not too sure when I’ll get it.

But man. I think I’m beginning to get an inkling of a feeling of what women see in shoes. Sneakers. Asics ones. The overpronating range. Gee. They are. So. Damn. Comfy. It’s like orgasm for feet. (They have a neutral range. Mmm Well for those interested, I overpronate inwards not outwards. Buy me asics shoes. Now!)

Wooo. I’m doing 13 hours of A level tutoring a week now. Mmmm.

Signing off,

Azngeek

Posted by azngeek at May 12th, 2007

Well first and foremost. I am proud to announce that, the first ever Azngeek.com game is going to be released to an azngeek.com near you. Which would technically just be this site that you are currently viewing. And seeing how most of you people are just my imaginary-make-believe readers I’d like to think that you people would all be ecstatic of this groundbreaking mindblowing news. If you aren’t. Well. With my dictator-like-iron-fist-ruling, I shall unimagine you imaginary readers who oppose me and my words into oblivion. *please insert devious insidious laughter of your preference here* Oh yes. As I was saying. Rubixcube the azngeek version will be coming out sometime this year hopefuly. The game already works, just there’s some tweaking and stuff going on. Programming was done by my main man Alex, the latest addition to the azngeek.com family. He’s also an accelerated engineering student.

Here’s a demo of the .exe file. Of a rubix cube being mixed and then solved under 5 seconds.

rubiks_cube_demo.exe

This file is just to showcase what is actually going to be in the game. Just a 3D rubix cube that can be solved using the controls we have specified. For the .exe of the demo, you might like to press end to slow down or home to speed up the demo.

Details on the final version will be posted later on.

And now. Time for me to move on to poking fun at emo/goth people, by portraying myself as one. Because I can. And engineering depresses me immensely.

*start out of character persona here*

The glimmer in those eyes. They are gone. Everything has become black and white. Mundane. Life is going backwards. It’s a constant struggle of one step forward and two steps back. The sadist cycle I seem to have so willingly taken upon myself. I see it happen. I have grasped and understood it. But it just can’t be stopped. It just can’t. I have tried countless times. To end it. Put a stop to it. But everytime I fall, and get back up on my feet, I lose a little bit more of myself.

In the mirror. I no longer recognize the stranger who stands before me. I just see a shadow of a man who has seen and done things that he’s not been proud of. That shadow who lurks and pretends pitifully to be autonomous and completely ostracized from the wheels of events that have started. Of series of events that he started directly or indirectly, even by just being silent. Even just by being silent.

Regrets wash over. “Regrets are for fools” a man he once was would have said. Who’s the fool now.

Behind those curtains. Behind his apparent multifaceted masks he wears. Behind those values he once thought he held and still pretends to hold with dear life. For he is afraid of the bleakness if he lets go of those values that he once thought gave him strength. What shall happen to this fool. To him. To me.

The void. That emptiness. It constantly grows. With the deceit and the lies. And it hurts. Constantly. The pain. It’s reached scales where it borders the line of ecstasy as the endorphins rush through his veins. To ease the pain. Ironic. Life is the drug that he no longer wants or needs. That I no longer want or need. The high of living. Long has been replaced by the withdrawal symptoms. Of the need to just let go. To emancipate.

I know. He knows. I know. That even when he is tired, he can’t sleep, even when he is hungry, he can’t eat, even when he tries. It just hurts. It just hurts to be me.

*ends out of persona character*

So people. What did you think of that piece of verbal thrash. I thought instead of a parody of some ideas that I found absolutely hirarious which tickled my eedy-beedy-heart, I’d try something darker. Gloomier.

Signing off,

Azngeek

Posted by azngeek at October 7th, 2006

You know what really grinds my gears. Products denoted with the words “lite”, “zero”, “diet”, “sugar-free”, and for you fucking pepsi drinkers. Pepsi “Max”. “B-b-butttt, it’s because you know. I need to keep my figure.”

Wrong you moron. For anyone who actually thought of that. You are wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Die now and do us all a favor. So as I was saying. W-T-F is wrong with you shit for brains people. Why buy shitty products like that? “Oh I’m counting my calories” says the guy behind me. Now where is my tazer. I’ll freagin taze some sense into that imbecile. *sets to high voltage-omfg-this-is-going-to-hurt-me-more-than-it-will-hurt-you*

Or for once. I could be wrong. And you could be in a lot more pain than me. I don’t really mind. Just so long as I can shove some high voltage up your ass, I’m all good. All happy. But I guess we can’t do much about the morons who go out and buy the said products. Even if you did gas all of them. The offspring of the more sensical ones, will then de-evolve, and will continue to purchase the said products. So what’s the only other option apart from destroying the entire human race? Hmmm. It’s a toughie. I can’t think of a way. I’m stumped. For once. Or twice. Bleh. Shut up.

Soooo. If we can’t beat em’, I say join them. I have the most diabolical-EVEL plan to beat these fuckers at their own game. And I’ll call it. Super-Lite-Diet-Zero. SLDZ for short. Pronounced as se-le-de-ze. Se-Le-De-Ze. You feel me? Right.

So what is the said Se-Le-De-Ze? It’s better than all the fagoty products out there. Diet Coke. Pffbt. Pepsi Max. Please. Pringles Lite? Don’t make me laugh. Here’s the SLDZ to rule them all. One product to rule them. One product to bind them. One product to make my asian ass rich. I still have not actually revealed what, SLDZ is, have I? So keep on reading.

SLDZ, is all those fucked up versions of some good products (with the exception of pepsi. You guys suck big hairy monkey balls), put into one. Much like captain planet. Only. SLDZ is more environmentally friendly. And it’ll make me big bucks.

So think about it. What do all those products have in common? Apart from being a shittier version of the original? And sucking big hairy monkey balls? *slaps forhead* You morons still haven’t picked it up yet? Do I have to point everything out myself. Gah. The lower calorie count, the lower percentage of fat content, the good feeling of eating something that’s bad for you but you can deny it because of the clever/fucked up advertising with the label “lite, etc as above” So the product I proposed, SLDZ, will be what I call that thing I’ve just placed in your hands reader.

Yes you heard me. I’ve just given you all SLDZ over the in-ter-web. You all have it. I’ve given you a free sample. (I can sell it virtually too! Am I going to be rich or what) You can’t see it? Because you are far too inferior intelectually, so your sense of smell, and sight can’t pick it up. Now, shove it in your mouth. Mmm.mmm good. Finger licking good. Better than anything I’ve ever/You’ve ever tasted. And plus. This is a truly guilt free snack. Zero calories, is an even shittier version of the original product(s) (People are so going to buy SLDZ), and it’ll give you an even better feeling that you aren’t actually shoving shit down your throat. SO is this an amazing plan or what. And plus. think about the marketing potential.

Competitors work with just one-uno-fuc-ked-word. We have 4 at our disposal. Super-Lite-Diet-Zero. How is anyone going to beat that? How is it going to even be possible to beat that. Exactly. You can’t. And we can strike a deal with the superheroes of the realm. After all. This product is super. And then I’ll be rich. And I’ll be all pimp and shit. And sexy. And and desirable!

Note : Hi fellow readers. Meet my alter ego. AznSneak. Quite the debut, don’t you think? He’s almost as creative as I am. Go AznSneak
(edit)

(edit AGAIN) Fuck you azngeek. I mean. I’m azngeek

(edit AGAIN AGAIN) Stfu aznsneak you noob. You have been revealed to the entire in-ter-web

(edit AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN) ZOMG. You mofo. I’m going to taze your ass azngeek.

(edit AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN) Bring it bitch. I’ll pop a cap in yo’ ass yo!

*bam bam bam* Noooo. *whimper* Gahhh. Not the tazer. Bzzzt. Ahhhh. Not the belt. NOT THE BELT. *Crash* *Boom *Bang*

Talk about a short debut. I think that might be the last of aznsneak. Azngeek has prevailed! Or not… dum dum dum, or maybe I’m aznsneak pretending to be azngeek. The plot thickens.

Azngeek (Or AM I?)

PS: For any of you that didn’t pick it up. The title is an allusion toward the phrase “hit you where the sun don’t shine” or not