Posted by Morpork at April 12th, 2008

I think I’m a freak of nature. You know, how people usually go “I don’t tell you how to do your job so don’t go telling me how to do mine!” or “Stop telling me what to do, Mom!” Well, today (and yesterday) I was pretty down because it was the onset of Horridays and people won’t stop reminding me about projects and tests. So while I was sulking like a baby, my father called and told me to do some stuff for him. And I sprang back to life and finished stuff I usually take days to procrastinate before doing. I like being ordered around.

People who speak out are usually leader-esque types and like to talk about taking the lead and stuff. For me, all of those is probably out of my league. My element is essentially a background goon. A henchman. A grunt. And I think I’m good at being that. People out there who know me, you’ll have to know how to use me for me to shine as a character. And now you know.
I’ll share with you some crazy dreams I’ve had in this screwed up mind of mine. The different levels of light have different damages associated with them. Don’t believe me? Read on.

Matches - Defeats Grues
Torchlight -  Defeats Alone in the Dark Shadows
Fluorescent Light - Causes Insomnia
Spot Light - Catches thieves
Sun - All engulfing

Well, that was boring. But I didn’t say it was interesting. Just helping you pass the time really. Zombies living among us, my dreams tell me of your diet!
Mango - Fleshy. Too sweet.
Durians - Not quite but getting there
Brains - The squishiness… The chunkiness… That’s what you drool over in your un-sleep

I just realised there are many fruits I don’t know the name of in English. That durian-ish small fruit with fake spikes. No idea what it’d be called.

Congratulations for enduring all that. Feel free to floccinaucinihilipilificate this article!