Posted by azngeek at January 19th, 2008

The three preceding words… to the emancipation of any elite male credentials you may have once held or feigned to have held.

(O. Yes. Before I continue on with my rant, I must warn you. Some of you may take offense from this article. If you do so choose to read it. Take it in with an open mind and a light heart.)

So as I was saying. Marriage. The thing that basically breaks you or makes you as a man. I would say marriage is analogous to a non-compete agreement between an employer/company with an employee. You basically sign off your rights, to walk away from the company and work for the competitor. You therefore sign away your rights to be appreciated. Why should an employer treat you with respect, and treat you well, heck he could fire you back then, and you’d be disallowed from working in the same industry for years to come. Sure they might have offered you a nice package, lets say you are laid off, and the term for your non-compete agreement is 5 years, and lets say they lay you off, and pay you 5 years full pay. A lump sum. Sounds like a sweet deal? Lets look at it from this perspective.

  1. If it were a real good deal. Why would they get to sign off on that agreement in the first place? Because the world is a happy happy la la place and everyone loves one another? I think not
  2. In those 5 years you’ll be unemployable in that industry, and in those 5 years you’ll become incapacitated from twiddling your fingers. Not only that, you’d have that “I’ve not been working with this stuff for 5 year” vibe.
  3. Previous contacts from the industry will mostly no longer be great contacts.

Sounds like a brilliant deal? One-sided. Yes.

And modern day marriages? That’s what I wanted to talk about. Marriage signs away the males right to walk away from a bad relationship. If she treats you horribly in the relationship. You can’t walk away. If you do choose to do so? Unlike the non-compete agreement, when you get “fired”, not only do you not get that lump sum,you have to pay severely for such foolishness.
And like I said. If you were an elite male beforehand. Again.

  1. You’d be rusty as hell. And the fact that you were once married, you are now tainted as the divorcee with the now heavy separation payments
  2. Your previous contacts would no longer be good.

So a woman always complains that marriage is a bad thing for them. Then why is it that it’s the men that are afraid to commit. Not the women? Why is it that a company would want their employees to sign the non-compete agreement, and not the employees.

So you know what to do guys. Protect them testicles!

(NOTE: No animals were killed in the writing of this I guess somewhat sexist article. It was all in good natured fun, and it was just something for others to ponder on. I’m not saying women are evil. Men are evil too. I’m just saying that people in general, are just evil. Bah.)

Singing off,

Azngeek