The AznGeek

Posted by azngeek at December 31st, 2007

The family of Azngeek would like to extend a warm welcome to the latest member wordsmith.

From the entire Azngeek crew.

Posted by psych at December 25th, 2007

Almost anyway. Hey there reader people. Been away for long enough. Hows life? Im good. Spurred on by the thought of Christmas day and the fun-ness that tags along. Singapore’s been good to me. Its as crowded as ever and contains, in my opinion (which hasnt changed since my last post about this place), an obscenely high amount of good looking people. Its almost like inceasing population density guarantees increasing number of hotness? Or everyone is kiasu enough not to go out unless theyre at least an 8 on a 10-scale. Ahahaha such weirdness.

Year end holidays make me wanna spend like crazy. Coupled with my condition (being extremely broke), things dont really work out well. For the most part, I just walk around and look at stuff. Which is kinda fun without much(if any) satisfaction. How else do you get rid of that urge? The christmas decorations are awesome to say the least. People know that the best decorations attract the bigger crowds so they dont mind spending the cash.

That point brings me to the main part of this article (yeap some philosophical s%%$. Its been a while since ive pondered the origins of man or the role of god in the evolutionary process anyway). The crowds.. are so so so damn introverted in their own special way. Too many people make for a very bland experience. The people vary in looks and attitudes but they all share one thing in common. They dont smile and they ignore everyone (or try to very hard) around them. This attitude naturally comes with modernization (it already happens in Malaysia). It sucks. Christmas is supposed to make everyone feel like sharing and giving love and stuff. A few people who dont share the love convince most others to do the same. After all, smiling at people who dont smile doesnt feel good. But on the bright side its imprinted into all normal peoples’ brains to return a smile when they see someone smiling at them. Our ancestors probably killed anyone who didnt smile back at them. Eventually 99% of the human population contained the right genes that didnt make the smile-er feel like an idiot.

I wrote mainly to wish everyone a merry christmas. Cos i really wish you do. A few more hours and ill be one of the happiest kids in the world =) aite. gtg. may the gifts you recieve be put to use asap. and if not then just try and return them.

pSyCh

Posted by wordsmith at December 19th, 2007

by wordsmith

Christmas is in the offing; the Christmas spirit is befalling. That blissful time of the year is here again and it is getting better every year. For me, that is. As a Christian, the presents, Christmas tree, snow and Santa Claus don’t signify Christmas; not in the least bit. Christmas to me is in celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ and the greatest gift of all to all of mankind -the gift of Jesus’ Love…which many neglect during Christmas albeit it is the main focus. We should focus.

Nevertheless, in the tradition of Christmas, I practice several customs; like gift-giving. This has always been a problem for me because I don’t have sufficient money to get gifts for everyone due to certain reasons I won’t divulge. Ergo, I usually purchase presents for my family only, unfortunately.

One important thing about giving is to not expect anything in return. Giving becomes true joy the most when it comes from the heart and without any expectations. I learnt this the hard way but am glad I did.

Another Christmas tradition I cultivate is the red-green theme for some ironic and completely oafish reason. And that’s all I’m going to say about it.

If you don’t receive a (materialistic) gift for Christmas, feel sad about it and are aged <10, you can ask Santa for a letter or phone call here. However, if you don’t receive a (materialistic) gift for Christmas, feel sad about it and are aged >11, please don’t do it. (Santa doesn’t exist, dearie.)

I forgot to introduce myself. I abhor pizza. There you go. Oh, and I’m the youngest contributor to this site so please forgive me for my non-insightful musings.

P/S: I am fully aware that the correct term is Seasons Greetings. That typo must have been the keyboard’s fault. Or not.

Merry Christmas! And Seasons Greetings! In advance! Ho ho ho-

I’ll leave now.

Posted by azngeek at December 19th, 2007

I’m in the car. Thinking about my next post. There seems to be no reception for the radio. And all I hear right now. All I hear. Is the idle chatter of what would seem to be complete strangers. Whether you are stuck in a car with people, in a train, on the bus, at the bar. Everything may seem different. But one thing’s constant. There are people. There is a room. And well, there is life. Someone once told me life was a series of rooms. And I never did quite understand. But I’m a bit older, maybe a little wiser, and I can see now that life is a series of rooms, and the people you end up with in those rooms, play a huge part in deciding the outcome of the irony we call life.

People talk about indecisions. But life. Life I believe first and foremost is about deciding what room you end up in. Whether you decide to jump into the car with your little brother to take him to a baseball game, or if you decide to take the shortcut through a dark alley, or you decide to go to that commerce lecture hall that you aren’t apart of but you go because there’s a girl there that you fancy.

Life simplified? A series of room. And people. If you decide to jump in that car with your little brother to that baseball game, you could end up taking that wrong turn, a detour, and really finally start understanding and appreciating the fact that you know what, he IS your little brother after all, and you have more in common than you’d have initally imagined, but would never have comprehended prior. The car. Is your room.

And if you decide to take that shortcut through that dark alley? You might end up with a ten time convicted rapist with little more than pepper spray at your disposal. Or you could end up finding that stray puppy that would one day become your closest friend. That dark alley. Is your room.

And if you decide to jump into that commerce lecture? You might end up marrying that girl I mentioned or to make things interesting, you could find that you fancied the lecturer a whole lot more instead(Or you could just realize that you are required to visit a pyschiatrist)? The lecture hall. Is your room.

A series of rooms. Life simplified. Think about it this way. You just decide on the room. And the room takes it from there.

That’s a nice thought isn’t it? Just deciding on the room? But the thing is. What if the room, chooses you? Or the choice of room leads to another room. And then another?

Signing off,
Azngeek
(In a contemplative moood)

Posted by azngeek at December 19th, 2007

That pang of nostalgia. Don’t you just hate it when you are minding your own business, and without warning the fiendish feeling that’d betray any man, woman or child reeks its ugly head, and you are without will or power to resist. You break down. You stop functioning as how you would in what I’d call the nominal sense. And out goes the rationale, the head fast head strong decision slinging, and even the wit and charm if one is lucky enough to possess any.

I got home late tonight. And my eyes, in caught sight of old photo albums on the underused green marble table that’s been around since what I’d call the beginning of time. The dull musky yellow of what would have been once white pieces of carboard where the untold words reside. They say a picture tells a thousand words. And as cliched as it is a cliche and even more cliched it is for me for calling that a cliche, it is so true. Flipping through the pages of the thick hard covered photo album labelled ‘1992′, the memories. They come tip-toeing through the weary eyes, sneaking through the iris, making the recon mission up the slippery unused slope to the cob-webbed infested part of the brain that’d be the reservoir of memories long past.

From the brick sized beige gameboy that was in almost every dinner picture in the stubby little hands of the kid that I’d not have recognized, to the cheeky smiles that I’d not be caught dead pulling off today, to the pictures of kindness on my father’s part that sometimes I seem to forget. Ah. Nostalgia.

And then I flip through another. 1992. 1993. 1994. 1995. 1996. And a huge gap of missing years. To the year 2000. I see the transformation. I see the physical transformation of a boy. To another boy. To another. With every year. The boy being far more cynical than the last.

Boys will be boys. However unkind a statement it maybe. Boys. Will. Be. Boys. The memories of the laughter, and the teasing, and the mind games of just kids. Boys will be boys. Ah. Nostalgia.

But you know what nostalgia. Let me not be unkind. As the more painful memories come to past, so do the better ones, of friends that I am still friends with today, of the life that I lead today from the mish mash of memories that I had of yesterday, and of the good fortune I have of somewhat turning out alright.

Ah nostalgia. Cheri. Maybe I do not hate you so much after all. The holiday season always gets you thinking.

Signing off,
Azngeek

Posted by azngeek at December 6th, 2007

Are you an enabler? Don’t know? Unsure? Let me help you to see whether you are one. And if you aren’t. First let me tell you what an enabler is then i suppose. An enabler is a person who well to stupidly put it: Enables others.  Duhhhhhh. Okay fine. Lets really talk about what an enabler does. An enabler capacitates, facilitates, and just gives some form of assurance to another whether in the negative or positive sense.

Some people need negative enablers. Others. Need positive ones. A nudge in the right direction.

Lets talk about the positive type first. The positive type, would usually fall under the kind hearted, gullible, still innocent-ish, optimistic annoying arses. They believe in magic, little fairies, ponies, and little unicorns. And believe that anything can happen if they try hard enough or want something enough. And will tell you so. They’ll tell you that YOU should go for the girl next door that you’ve been head over heels with for as long as you can remember, they will tell you that you WILL be able to afford that nice Euro car the next year, and they will tell you that you will be able to reach the peek of that skiing slope and completely nail it without having too many ungraceful face imprints into the cold hard compressed snow.

And then you have the negative types. Who tell you. No. You can’t do that and that. You lack the ability. You aren’t good enough. And so on and so forth. Maybe because they understand that you yourself would try harder if you are told no. Or they could be extreme realist. Or the alternative to that is that they could be just downright mean spirited arses.

Am I an enabler? Well. I’ve been doing part time tutoring for a while now. And I guess I’ve developed some fairly decent enabling skills. I play on both sides of the fence. Neither nor just a pure positive hippy, or the negative black faced bastard that everyone would love to freeze, place on a popsicle stick, and watch them melt into nothingness (Don’t ask me where I get these weird images from, they just come to me. Like a dream)

My end word is. I’d like to be your enabler. If you so need one. And I’ll be whatever kind of enabler you might need. Just talk to me. Talk to people. Let them know about your current state of mind, of your wants, your needs, your likes, even your dislikes. Makes the world a better place. Lets all be enablers.

PS: I know that if you always head towards the negative enabling methods, you’ll be shunned by society and they will eat your first newborn child.

Azngeek

Posted by azngeek at December 1st, 2007

I would most definitely not be trying to think of a post for this site at 1 in the morning. Or I could be at my most contemplative state when I am. It’s hard to say, for one who is so shallow minded.

Been in Malaysia for about a week now. 2 years since I last came back. I still recall back in high school when a teacher claimed Malaysia to be of a third world status. When you think about third world. You think about African countries, Bosnia, Cambodia, and the like. Malaysia would not be a country that’d come to mind immediately. Sorta like a third world country in the other extreme eh? When you think of the skyscrapers, the world class airport, a reasonably decent transportation along the peninsular, malls the size of palaces. I mean. How could you? I told that teacher, that she was a liar.

Now. In contrast, I can’t shake it off. Walking around town, and smelling the roses in the sense that, I’m no longer necessarily rushing to a destination to fulfill a routine. To ensure everything is just done according to schedule. My eyes, they are now wide open. I do not care so much about the smog or the haze that would make the more sensitive eyes water. I do not care so much about the lack of hygiene publicly, in places where it’d be much desired nor the culture which sometimes isn’t exactly, I suppose strong hygiene fibre in terms of culture if that even makes the least bit sense.

But when you see. I mean really finally just take a moment to fully appreciate. The presence of the stray animals on your streets that you lived, once lived, or visit to the abused and very disgustingly mistreated animals. I can’t help but to fill a sharp pang of sadness. From the yelping of that dog horrendously scalded by boiling water by “civilized” people, to the sad sad meowing of a kitten for its dead mother. I feel upset. I don’t want to think of it. I’ve been away for 2 years. And for 2 years. It’s been pushed to the back of my mind. But here. I am re-appreciating the stupid cruelty of selfish people. I guess. Sometimes when I’m here. I just feel profoundly sad. Time to close them eyes.

Azngeek