Posted by Morpork at October 23rd, 2007

People today are ruled by political correctness. They have to be so careful when talking and have to include exceptions to otherwise declaratory statements. Some people on the other hand are ruled by [citation needed]. They have no opinions of their own and constantly cite another source in case what they say prick someone’s sensitive nerves and it won’t be their fault. People have to be firm but gentle, strong but relenting. I call this the Goldilocks’ solution to human relations.

What is my own opinion? I think there are people who are stubborn and insist on their view on the matter and there are people who think the world should all come to the middle and there won’t be any problems. Together they provide a push and pull so that society doesn’t swing to one side of the Goldilocks line and the Dangerous I Have An Opinion Line. Together the softies and the hardies create another Goldilocks’ Complex. (I abide by Goldilocks’ domain? Confirmed. Also: QED)
Now this might not be completely a rational jump of logical thinking but this was the train of thought I was following when I arrived at the Solution. The Root Mean Square Government. AKA The Republic-Empire Duality.

A simple analogy follows. The juices in your computer are provided not by a DC current but AC. But it has the equivalent effect of DC current known as the RMS value of the AC current. But the wiring itself is not provided by one phase but three phases. IE there are three lines of AC wires sticking around the city, so that at any time constant power is supplied. THAT IS, when AC1 has fallen to zero, AC2 + AC3 will each be in non-zero phases and so the lines combined don’t fall to zero power.

Still with me?

Now consider light. Light is good. Refer to fantasy books where dark is evil for evidence. Hence, light is a good model to follow. Light exhibits wave and particle properties. But the net effect is something good(light is good. light is good. light is…).

It therefore follows (it does?) that the best things aren’t just one thing or the other (eg. good vs evil, lawful vs chaotic, showers vs baths, Azngeek vs Morpork)  but a mix of these things periodically shifting from one to the other. I divert you to evidence:

Good thing is a mix of things. (light is good. light is good.)

Good thing is many things running in parallel. (Three phase AC system. AC is good too. What? You disagree? Then plug your computer to a DC battery! I dare you!)

Hence QED. quod erat demonstrandum.

The perfect future government is therefore a Republic-Empire Dual Government periodically shifting from one to the other. It will have the net effect of a proper government while simultaneously appeasing supporters of both parties periodically. Imagine being reminded of the bad of empires and wars during empire phases and reminded of the need to cut through red tape and bureaucracy during republic phases. Perfect.