The AznGeek

Posted by azngeek at July 28th, 2007

From yesterday, I’m gone

From yesterday, I’m gone,
To tomorrow, please find me,
Dear time, I’m lost.
I’m writing to you,
To ask of news,
To see how you are doing,
Hope you and the family
are doing well.
Is father time still kind?
The old fart.

From tomorrow, please find me,
To yesterday, I’m gone,
Everything is well,
How do you do?
The cold winds still blow,
Hope you and the family
are doing well.

And I. I am still looking for you.

I quite like this. Just thought of it when I woke up this morning. I still love the language.

Signing off,

Azngeek

Posted by azngeek at July 27th, 2007

The stomach it twist and churns. The discomfort. It’s no longer palpable. You always make me feel like this. Always.

It’s hard to grasp, impossible to comprehend at this point; Why I’ve never learnt, why I always allow myself to be so vulnerable, so open, so me, when I’m around you.

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?
Would it change how you feel? -Staind

When I felt like I was in a free fall spiraling out of control. You held on. Held on like no one would believe. When I could no longer stand. You were the shoulder. You let me lean on you. Around you. I was at ease. I could be at rest. Defenses down. A battle hardened soldier from the front line, at long last emancipated from the sweat soaked blood stained armor. A weight of the shoulders. Sanity? You were my sanity.

And while he wishes he could escape this
But it all seems so contagious
Not to be yourself and faceless
in a song that has no soul
I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
And I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped -Our Lady Peace

And then. I could stand again. Stand once again. Almost. On my own two feet. And then you let go. I don’t blame you.

We are, we are all innocent,
One day, you’ll stand up on your own
You'’ll stand up on your own  -Our Lady Peace
At that point. The point of emancipation. The point of an end. The full stop to an incomplete unexplored epic. It ends.

Reality comes crashing. The relationship. The relating. The bridge that was once thought to connect two indviduals, for all this time, was just the support of the other. At that point, it breaks, it yields, and it fails.

From yesterday. You thought I was strong. And steadfast. Headstrong. You thought I could make it.

The disgusting truth is. I was weak. I was strong. Strong because of you. You gave me the strength. To do all that I’ve done. The strength to be just worthy of your affection.  You think I’m intelligible. Funny. And witty. Only because I needed to be worth your attention. Everything I’ve strived for. I’ve achieved. I thank you. You. You. You.

Maybe you’re the same as me
We see things they’ll never see
You and I are gonna live forever -Oasis

They say as time passes. Things are supposed to heal. But I still so desperately need to lean on you once again. After all this time. I still try so hard. To be worthy of you. And you alone.

And tell me everything will be alright
Lie to me once again
And ask yourself before we say goodbye
Well goodbye
Was it worth it in the end? -12 Stones

*sigh*. I do miss you. I still try to be the best me. Because of you. You know. And when I feel like I’m at my limits. I just think. Think of you.

Signing off.

Azngeek

Posted by psych at July 25th, 2007

Yeah, minus my Deathly ‘hellos’ comment back a few posts, I was waiting pretty anxiously for this. Anxiously as well as obnoxiously. Er… just anxious. I like the way both words seem interconnected because of those few letter differences. Sweet book. Oh my god. Oh my god. I read nonstop from the moment I got home. On my bed. In my chair. Lying on my floor. I have never ever read something so fast in my life. I forced self control seeing as this was the last book ever. Slow. Well, i finished it by 1am. so thats 11am-1am. around 12 hours i guess notwithstanding the 2 hours that was dinner. Contemplated to go the ‘I’m reading in public but I don’t give a damn just finish eating your food already’ route but I don’t take kindly to being stared at. Mothers might even point and say something like, “Eh.. Sam, ah. See that boy there. Reading Harry Potter la!” and the boy says something like, “Ya la.. I told you I wanted to take the book here!” and she’d reply curtly, “You can’t read while you have dinner. Now finish up.” In the boy’s mind? “KNNB SO UNFAIR. First my Pokemon cards now book also cannot ><”

Aight. No more pretend arguments in my head. They always end up like that. The book was amazing. In between my brow being furrowed concentrating on whats happening in the book, the call of nature, Jeremy’s constant ‘who died. who died’ SMS-es, and my eyes getting slightly strained, I managed to finish it. And It Was Good. I can honestly say that I’ve never felt this way about other HP books. Book four came close. Very nice. It contained enough surprises to keep me reading on despite the read words slushing around in my head. I’m sure I missed a few things but that’s not a problem. Theres always next time.

I managed to stay away from spoilers (yea, completely). The determination it took.. It’s the thing that tells me I can quit drugs anytime I have to. Lmao. If only. Stay Away From Drugs Kids. If You Take Drugs, You Can’t Have Children. Yep. You heard it here first. AZNGEEK. The only source for health advice. Also, smoking shrinks your genitals. Trust me. And sex weakens your immune system. Thats why Old People Die. See the logic in that? Oh, and virgins go to heaven. I do not endorse the whole blow up doll thing. Speaking of blow, Blowing yourself up and killing people WILL NOT GET YOU VIRGINS IN HEAVEN, no matter what you’ve heard. The only way to get virgins in heaven is to be a virgin in real life. Rewards are bountiful. My god Azngeek seriously pervs me up when I chat with him. Dirty thoughts fill my brain. Probably more to do with me than him but I like blaming people for my own weird shortcomings.

The book did not answer everything I wanted it to answer. I don’t need any more closure than she gave tho, it was a great close to a great 7 books. I seriously hope JKRowling doesn’t go to writing infant books or anything cos I will be waiting for her future works. Lucky kids get this while we got Enid Blyton back in the day. Ahh. How I loved reading about pixies and elves. And how good triumphs over evil. And about magic. And stuff. Wait a minute. Sounds familiar… =) Seriously tho, I wouldve loved reading HP in primary school. Damn kids. With their Harry Potters and their mobile phones and their laptops and their plastic surgery..

pSyCh

Posted by azngeek at July 22nd, 2007

Hey people. Sorry for being away for so long. Been a bit busy. My cousin Ron came over for the mid year break. He arrived on the 5th, a Thursday.

Meet cousin Ron. He’s currently constipated and is trying his best to look good for the camera. A handsome young lad. When he’s urm. Not constipated. (Check out his shirt. I think it screams sexy. Don’t you imaginary ladies that check my site REGULARLY think so?)

Well yes. He flew over from Melbourne for a pigging out fest in Auckland, New Gee-Rand!

His flight had about a 5:45 touch down, and he checked out at about 6. Took him home like the new toy boy he is. Heh. Exciting. A new Ken doll. Except. A more verbal. And Asian one. Can anyone say, house of wax? Meh. So yes. Took him home. The very animated little toy boy, went out for dinner. Nothing very interesting.

The next day. 3 hour road trip to Mt. Manganui. The beach of Tauranga. Plans to eat pig out. And. A rugby ball (plus we brought laptops and a wireless access point for late night gaming). So yes. Tauranga.

We arrive there. Check in. And we head off to this cute little Italian outfit that had a decent right up. The food was mediocre. I thought I’d go safe and go with a lasagna. It was bland to say the least. But the chef. He was a real crack up. Reminiscent of a real-life Mario. Had to take some pictures with the chef.

Group picture without the chef. Just the kiddies. 2 sisters. 3 of my sisters friends. And 2 cousins

Ahh. And here he is. Mr. Mario. I was cracking up inside. I would say I was smiling because he was grabbing my ass. But that would require some photoshopping of his hands. Something I’m not too keen on to do on a Sunday night.

Another shot of Ron unamused

The other cousin. Nick. (More affectionately known as twinky. Yes I made that up) He says hello.

We head back to the apartment.

To play some cards!

I’ve got a better hand than you BITCH!

But I still lose. And have to shuffle. Fuck. I am unhappy. Can you tell?

Another candid shot from the next dinner.

Sorry to dissapoint. But no pictures of us playing some rugby.

Tackling Ron and Nick into the sand was fun. Until i got tackled back. And got sand into the slider of my phone. Shittzor.

And that was Tauranga. Say goodbye.

And then we also headed out to have pearl milk tea and play cards at this crazy asian joint in the city.

They have weird little kitty dolls. The place is called Hulu cat. How much more Asian can we get? (Ron is ashamed of his heritage)

Posted by psych at July 19th, 2007

Knew from a few days back that some major fucktard from fuckland in the bastard continent in a moron universe had gotten and uploaded three quarters of the seventh Harry Potter book. People who are not into or are only slightly into the books would think “Ah, good. Now I can see who dies without having to go through the whole thing.” Lemme tell you something. IT IS A FRIGGIN BIG DEAL, OK? FRIGGIN BIG. ARGH. It’s leaked. People know who died. The spoiler is appearing randomly on random pages. Like a damn disease. I’m not making a big deal out of nothing. I’m not overly obsessed. But reading the books in order and waiting for the end of the story for the best part of my last 5(?) years is pretty much something I would not like tarnished by some mofo who doesn’t give a damn if Rowling wrote a 5 page book that chronicled the death of everyone in the HP world. This is one of the more proper rants I’ve had in a while. Felt pretty good.

pSyCh

Posted by psych at July 19th, 2007

Thats my inexcusably lame perception on how a Chinese peasant in the deepest, most isolated part of China, would pronounce the word ‘Fiction’. Or could it be how the Chinese MPH girl pronounced it when I asked her where the Fiction section was? Hmm.. ponder.

“Who are you?” Desperation hung heavy in those three simple words. He wasn’t thick enough to believe that his descent would last much longer. Unfortunately, he didn’t have the courage to angle his head so he could have an idea of exactly how much longer he had.

The voice returned. “Finally. You kept me waiting for quite a while. But that’s the wrong question.” The finality of these words sent his mind into disarray. What was that supposed to even mean? How can a question be wrong when the answer is unknown to me?

“Any question is legitimate, if it can be answered!” He almost spat the words out. In spite of this, the voice seemed unperturbed by his newly found confidence. It merely laughed and repeated it’s stance.

“It is the wrong question.” The voice didn’t stress anything. It merely repeated the sentence. Without emotion or a even a hint of annoyance.

“Dammit. I need to look down. Get my bearings and brace myself if possible.” His voice, not defeated but resigned to his fate, cut through his thoughts. Even now he could hear the sounds of the ongoing humans below him. That close? I expected it to take longer. Here we go. He forced the muscles in his neck and shoulders to obey his will.

Turning slowly, he could make out the same horizon he was working up to earlier. Only there wasn’t one. They sky went on, and on. Nothingness beneath him. Sky filled every inch of his viewing range. Surprise and relief swept his battered mind. If only his parents could see him now, sailing through the unending blue sky. Indeed, an unnatural thought but one that occurred nonetheless.

“Amazing view, isn’t it? Made it myself. Was a little worried about the parameters but in my opinion, it does the sun a lot of justice.”

pSyCh

Posted by psych at July 17th, 2007

I keep churning these out. The neverending holidays are starting to get to me. I need stimulation. I’ll keep churning them out since I’m not sure about my internet security August-September comes. Might go a long time before I can type out anything again. The story below, is totally random, but IMO readable. Short enough not to bore you but not too short that it doesn’t convey anything at all. I’m planning to continue this. For no reason in particular. Non-readers are fun to please.

The cloudless blue sky went as far as his eyes could see. He strained them to peek at the edges; struggling to catch the tiniest glimpse of a horizon.

“Almost.. there.” He mused to himself as he imagined what he would behold once he reached his goal. His imagination in check, he willed his mind to move his eyes downwards, more and more, towards-

“Can’t you see it?” The voice that interrupted his thoughts was familiar; not his own. It was void of any hostility and he immediately warmed up to it. It made sense to him at that moment to cease his fruitless attempts to reach the end. In fact, he’d forgotten why he had even begun.

Instantly, his mind’s eye shot back from the edges of the infinite sky and once again beheld it in its entirety. Savouring it. At the very heart of it, he noticed a falling leaf. Small enough to be ordinary, but all the same out of place in the mighty heavens.

“What a strange feeling. I feel as weightless as the leaf but unafraid of falling.” Indeed, his body, or rather his mind, had began imitating the leaf’s motion, replacing quiet security with the rush of adrenaline that can only follow an act of pure exhilaration.

“There is, of course, nothing to fear. That is why you feel none.” The voice sounded more convincing by the moment. However, curiosity began to fill him. The events unfolding seemingly made no sense and yet all he could do was enjoy the safe, albeit increasing accelerating descent from the dreamlike atmosphere that made up the enormous sky. His face still faced heavenwards. He could still see the falling leaf. The leaf ceased falling at that very moment and was carried off by a rogue gust. The westerly winds cushioning the fall of the leaf seemingly mocked his own clumsy descent through the air.

“This is madness.” That sentence had become almost ritual since his initiation. Madness indeed. He would have appreciated it if only there was a scheme, an underlying plan to any madness. But then again, he thought cheerfully, that would mean that madness would cease to exist. All that would be left was but intricate designs and patterns. Maybe clever but never mad enough to baffle clear logic.

pSyCh

Posted by psych at July 16th, 2007

Air. Water. Not Udara. It rained for the first time in a long time yesterday. Heavens closed up like a tight fist and the clouds did their job. Happened again this morning I think. That’s the case unless I forgot the timer on my a/c. Kinda freezing when I woke up. Made me as hopeful as a wolf surrounded by sheep.

However, unlike the lucky wolf, I was starving. So. Being the practical guy that I am, knowing that I would have to live on my own soon and might not have the convenience of calling in for stuff, I went all DIY and made my own food. You’re thinking, “Bah, did you fry an egg or something?”, “Made a sandwich did we?”, “Did you just nuke a *ins. food name*?” Hell no. I friggin made a lasagna. With the works. Manually. No instant sauce or anything. Missed out on a few things cos I didnt have them but it turned out amazing. Now, now, are we being overconfident? Why, no. I’m so not over my cooking skills cause they are amazing. Like untapped energy in the earth’s core. UNLIMITED. Ok. Overrated. I’m happy so sue me. Mushrooms, onions, oregano, puree, garlic, beef, tomatoes (or to-Mah-toes:either works fine), pasta, ricotta and those cheddar slice thingys. My god. Amazing what two hands can do. Living alone.. bring it on. Nope no pics of my masterpiece because like I said I was hungry and couldn’t even stop long enough to answer the call of the wild(nature. aka pee aka go to the toilet. I know most of you arent slow or anything but I dont want weird questions). Besides camwhoring should if allowed at all be conducted by humans and humans alone. Maybe pets are ok.
Now that that’s done. Watched Harry and The Phoenix’s Order. =). Yea I didnt wanna type out the long title. Sounds kinda lame now that I think of it. No offense to Rowling. She was probably very tired when she came up with it. Or the name has something to do with some major plot in the seventh book (which also has an extremely bad-sounding name). Deathly hallows sounds very vague-ish since I cant connect it with some sort of mental picture. At least something like deathly ‘hellos’ which sounds stupid but at least brings to my mind “hellos” killing people. Hallows bring up nothing at all. Everything else made sense. Guess my English is not British enough to automatically understand what Hallows are. Half Blood Prince sounded great. All mysterious and royal-like. According to Rowling, “Any clarification of the meaning of ‘Hallows’ would give away too much of the story – well, it would, wouldn’t it? Being the title and all. So I’m afraid I’m not answering.” Damn her. But praise her for the books. Sick books that get you hooked. Btw, theres thing online thing called Pownce. Sounds very promising. If friendster did what Pownce can do I woulda joined up years ago. www.pownce.com. Registration requires invites atm. Made by Kevin Rose’s company. TechTV’s still alive, well technically its dead by i mean figuratively. LL it.

pSyCh

Posted by psych at July 13th, 2007

She is so damn awesome I can’t even begin to describe what she is and how she sounds like. She’s a singer. And I literally just listened to her cd four times over. Every song makes sense and speaks to you in distinct ways. I can’t explain it. It just is so amazingly good.

THANK YOU AZNGEEK. I’m sure I thanked you before but this deserves one here. First of all thanks for introducing me to her music. The cd pwned the mp3’s. Mainly because I was missing a few and it sounds so, so much better. Shes hot too. That helps a whole lot. Not typical looks but shes definitely uber attractive. My god. Such an overlooked Kiwi.

Album cover from Wiki. Its probably cprighted but since when has that stopped anyone eh. It had to be this pic or no other.

Seriously, check out her stuff. Buy her album if you can find it. Worship the ground she stands on. Zomgness. Her lyrics mix contemporary stuff with like fantastic wordplay that means so much when you get it. She’s on youtube too. So check that out too. Many Christian references but nothing overpowering. More like snippets here and there that kinda hold it together. It’s basically for anyone who likes slow soully calming awesome awesome stuff. Some great lyrics:

I just spoke silence with the seeker next to me
She had a heart with hesitant, halting speech
That turned to mine and asked belligerently
“What do I live for?”

I see the scars of searches everywhere I go
From hearts to wars to literature to radio
There’s a question like a shame no one will show
“What do I live for?”

We are Hosea’s wife
We are squandering this life
Using people like ladders and words like knives

Then comes the awesome chorus. Did I mention her voice is like freagin amazing. So good it makes me sad that she will probably never come to Malaysia. Damnit.

Album’s name belongs to a girl in Rwanda who met Brooke on her trip there. Good story behind that too.

Haha. Not really an impartial or insightful review. Mainly because I can’t dissect her music and tell you stuff about it. Not impossible probably but it works for me to just listen to all the songs and let them do the talking. In this genre(whatever it is), she is definitely one of the friggin best. No favourites or anything.

Go support her already!

pSyCh

-ps: can’t find any of her albums here. her first or this one. props to azngeek for sending it over from aucklando. Think I’ll repay him with some Siti Nurhaliza albums asap. Erm. Not?

Posted by psych at July 12th, 2007

Caught up on some regional news. Mouth literally dropped when I heard the initials of the Moro Islamic Liberation Front. Thats the group that wants an independent Islamic state somewhere in the Philippines. Go figure. The anchorwoman goes, “So far the M.I.L.F has blahblahblah” My filthy mind. What a coincidence, eh? You should know by now.

MILF

1. (slang) Mother I’d like to fuck: A (putative) mother found sexually attractive.
   • 1999: Movie American Pie - Dude, that chick’s a MILF!”

omg. DAMN MILF IS KILLING PEOPLE!! BUT I STILL WANNA DO HER!!

Phuket was amazing with a capital A,M,A,Z,I,N and G. Blew my mind away. Never actually been to any rival beach destinations *Miami* *salivates* *Miami..* *salivates* *Hawaii* *salivates* *Gold Coast* so I cant say its the best but it was for me. Gawd. The people, the things to do. The fucking fucking awesome food. I wish I had enough money to live there for a month or something. Totally amazing. Prolly not tops in seperate categories (diving, snorkelling, the beach) but pricewise I think it did the job plus benefits. This place is almost dead. But I’m not, so i’m postin. Yeap. Gonna leave you with something told to me by a restaurant-owner in Phuket.

“Right after the tsunami, when the waters were going down.. the roads had tons of used condoms all over.”

Idle chat. Even if its untrue. Gives me something to think about. I laughed so hard I choked. Ahh used condoms. Imagine how much rubber coulda been recycled. Damn wasters. I pity the dogs and cats that had to survive the aftermath on the “protein” in the used condoms. Can they get AIDS? No idea. Want to find out. What on earth do I google. *aids humans animal infect* probably. Those Google dudes are gonna trace that and have a different perspective on Malaysians. You’re welcome.

Some random pics taken with my phone. Photos from cam are still untouched. Basically just beach and scenery pics there anyway. And me doing some amazing things. winko

Basic Patong Beach pic. Doesnt really do it much justice. Just use your imagination for the rest of it. Or do a search online. =)

Just a bottle. Notice the straw. Can never be too safe in Thailand. Imagine if some horny zzzz pleasured him/herself using that bottle before i stupidly stuck my lips on it. Whats the worst that could happen anyway? Cracked lips?><

Was seated near this monstrosity for meals. Don’t know and don’t wanna know what the hell it is. Food God. Haha. Cool looking. Want one for my room.

Important Thai word. At least if you get lost you can rely on the helpful people inside to cheat you out of your money before helping you locate your hotel. Not that that happened to me. Btw, i think this was in the airport. So I dont mean this one specifically anyway.

I got rid of all my textbooks. haha. Fresh noobs eager for books in college. Now what?

Trippin all the way home:

pSyCh