Posted by psych at June 18th, 2007

I’m blogging stark-almost naked. Got a cold/flu thing. Can’t and won’t learn the difference between the two. I swear I read it a few minutes ago. All I know is one’s caused be a virus and the other by a bac. Anyway, a/c is on. Room door locked. Naked. Not completely. My fear of there being a futuristic camera hidden in a soft toy makes me.. yea. slightly self-conscious. That and I hate feeling naked.
Armourless.
Props to nudists. NO PROPS TO FUGLY UNATTRACTIVE NUDISTS. They have rights but so do I and I do not want to see them outside. Or inside.. Blerhhh.
Listening to very chilly music. Just wasting time. Thats what I do when I have a non-fever inducing illness. No more solace in TV. So many new channels but nothing worth my time.

Don’t rush after something not worth your time. Sounds so much more deep than talking about TV channels. Was banging myself on the head for not posting Anything when I have absolutely Nothing else to do. Truth is there is nothing. Got something a few times but by the time I was halfway through it wasnt something I wanted to read anyway. Felt it flow out of my head(hands) like fine sand when you press really hard. Then it was gone. Maybe I shoulda made those half-posts into one ok-post. Barren head empty mind meaningless thoughts a bit of you. I notepaded a rant i had quite some time ago. A very very emo rant. This really doesnt sound like something I’d say when I’m sober. Not that I wasn’t when I typed it. It sounds honest but its mostly exaggerated I think. Hormones. What can you do but wait for em to calm down. Enjoy, for I have no soulsearching to do today.

ARGH. Need to vent something. Don’t think this is gonna be posted tho. If it is, more power to me. haha. ARGHH. How does someone make me feel so fucking good and bad at the same time. Im typing this as i think it out btw so grammatical or spelling errors could come about which i may or may not correct seeing as im not planning on posting in the first place. AKSLDJASLKJDASKLJLKZJCLZXJCKLSAJD. I might just try password-protecting it. But then again why would regular readers wanna read this when Its abslutely not meant to by funny or azngeek-material in the first place. Heck I wouldnt wanna read this. Well I would since everything which lies herein has everything in the world to do with me and the life i am living at the moment. She makes me feel like I can say anything to her. Share everything. We tease each other. I’m not sure if she likes me to the point of actually trying me out again but the things we do are so damn annoyingly more than friendish. The teasing. God. Feels so good. Makes me actually LOL in RL. Makes me so goddamn happy. But I’ve a feeling she doesn’t know she makes me feel this way. She might but I think its natural to feel like she doesn’t. I actually try to be extra adorablish around her coz she seems to like it. The things I say to make her laugh are so not the usual me. The things she says to me. Are like button pushers. They push the right ones. All the time. Looking at her is almost heaven. Melty. Im not too schooled in friend protocol. Well the basics are pretty much there. I just dont know where the line is crossed and if doing what I want to do will screw stuff up. How do I begin to explain what she does to me. Well lets begin with the obvious.. The here and now. -Its almost 12am. I just finished chatting with her(GOD@Q!SDLKAJLK felt good). -Im typing this out in notepad because im not bothered enough to log into azngeek atm. -I spent a pretty long time on this alone. And I might just X it. So tahts alot of time down the drain. Am I doing something wrong? right? I really want someone to tell me what to do. And I want that someones advice to work out great. Im sure many of you feel the same about someone. Some more than others. Now on to why I feel bad? I’ve been to the place with this person. Not that place. Somewhere nearby. Ive been there. And I moved away. Doesnt going back make me an insecure, heartless bastard who only thinks about himself? Worlds foremost emo. Indeed.

Yea just thought some people would like to read that. After all people like reading those confession things in mags and papers. Like how someone slept with her best friends brother and cheated on her boyfriend who is also best friends with her best friends brother. You get the picture.

pSyCh (The one which doesnt know where that ^ came from)