The AznGeek

Posted by azngeek at June 27th, 2007

It’s ironic. How a simple phone call. The tiresome mundane ring of the age old invention. How every aspect. Every thread of an event, can be woven and then be completely massacred into a mess of tattered frayed edges of nothing.

I know what a phone call can do. It can brighten ones day. To know that some out there cares. Or not even that. To know that someone out there, isn’t a complete asshole. Or seems to not be a complete asshole. That’s good enough for me. To brighten my day. To sort of have that flicker, that smidgen of hope. To hold on to. To help wind the sails to take you through a rough day. That’s why I believe in random phone calls. To people you’ve not talked to in yonks. Just to let them know that they are remembered. And for the more popular people. Maybe just to let them know. Yea. You still are that popular person you were back in high school even though that might not have been the point of the call. It could be just purely be on good will and the needs and wants of human beings wanting to connect. To stay in touch. To feel wanted. And to feel needed. All hat jazz.

And then again. You get those phone calls. You never dream of hearing. The lost of a loved one. The lost of friend. Bad news on some test results. Cancer. Or even something as simple as your son having lost the team the finals in a football game. Tatters. Thoughts. They wander.

Well about a call.

Yea. Fuck. I had just got off the phone. A random phone call. Just to make myself feel sort of better. I had a shitty tiring day. I somehow got myself a job teaching a kid with a learning disorder. It frustrates me to no end. But. Well. Someone I know of. Sounded a bit under the weather. And I thought a phone call would do us both good. And then I called. And then there was idle chitter chatter, some exchange of some nonsensical rants, mostly on my part. A fresh voice. It was new. It was good to feel connected again. Yes. It did. Considering how isolated I’ve been feeling (thus the retail therapy, another post for another time). A call on my part. To cheer someone else up. That warm fuzziness rush. Very much like adrenaline. But sugary sweet. And packs far more punch as it gives the senses a tingle. I’m a sucker for warm and fuzziness. Hahha. In a completely macho and manly way of course. I assure you.

Then I try to drift off to sleep. But sure. I’m feeling better about myself and all. (I’m a selfish whore. I make people feel better to help my own psychotic self destructive complex. Maybe. I have no idea) But I’m bothered. Something doesn’t feel quite right. And I have an early start for work the next day. Tutoring. Bleh. don’t as k me why. So I toss and turn. And the phone. It rings. I stare at it idly. And then pick up. It’s my mates mother. She can’t get a hold of her son and was wondering whether he was with me, considering he was out since the morning and it was 12 at night. My heart sank. It was unlike him. Unlike Michael. My friend from college who had just come over back for a holiday from Melbourne days ago.

I told her I’d do everything I could to try to help her look for him. I got the phone. Dialled what must have been a few dozen numbers. Bothering everyone I knew. “Guys. Michael is missing. Seen him around?” But to no avail. I called back his mom. Told him I didn’t know what else to do. And she told me I should get some rest. In another 24 hours. she’d make that phone call. The one no one ever wants to make. A missing persons report to the plice after 24 hours.

And there’s my night. Tossing and turning. I head off for tutoring. And call his home again to check up on his mother. His mother’s hand phone is off. I go straight into the message box. Much like Michael’s phone. And then. I dial his house number….

—-

—-

And there he is. The fucker came back. In the wee hours of the morning. Mc0ahle you bloody bastard. That was a whole nights sleep! DICSD:LKJP(*Q#$PIU

Asswipe. Will kick your ass the next time I see you. I swear.

Signing off,
Anzgeek

Posted by Morpork at June 23rd, 2007

“…pant…pant…”

“We cannot continue. We have to resupply.”

“But we have come so far already! And we just did that before we entered the cave!”

“I know. But look at her. She won’t make it if we continue.”

“…Alright.”

***

Back in town, in the adventurer’s boutique, the weary travellers shed their gear and rest.

“Ah… my favourite kind of customers… So! How can I be of service!”

“We would like to resupply.”

“Very good! You know, you are good at this job are you not? You have returned for the second time in the same day!”

“Hmph. Just name the price and it’s all yours.”

“Gladly. I’ll return to you with a receipt momentarily…”

Momentarily…

“Here’s the gold and be back soon! We can always use the stock your kind bring in!”

Posted by azngeek at June 23rd, 2007

Do I hear big gasps and sighs? At the sight of such an insidious title. Do I hear giggles and chuckles as well? And questions. What is he heading towards. Is it the run off the mill sexist/racist/generalization articles that I so love writing? Well. Actually. No. This ladies and gents. Is an article on sensitivity. On reaching a pinnacle, in relating and relationships, in the eyes of the Azngeek.

I abstain from offering a quotation of a definition from any dictionaries. I don’t see eye to eye with them. No. I don’t. I do not believe it to be that of a submissive character. But lets have a discussion. IE. A self absorbed self discussion. Because I believe in my self-righteousness thoroughly.

The feminine side. Don’t really fancy talking about it. But what is it?

Well. Dudes and duddettes. I will be illustrating what I think it is.

I’m not new to the idea of having to wait for a considerable amount of time for girls/women to prepare themselves for an outing. The thing is. A lot of this waiting time ends up with I don’t know. An annoyance build up within the male psych. Especially if it’s been going on for a long time, IE the relationship is not new and exciting. But the thing is. How many of you can step out of your own shoes. Take a second to step into her shoes. And think. “If I were her. You know what. Yea. I understand”. The point I’m illustrating here is not submission. It’s empathy. The thing is. What many take for granted is the why. The OBVIOUS reason is she could be wanting to look good for you. So you. You. And you. You fucknut. Don’t ruin it for her and yourself. But I’m not going to say that the female is selfless. No. In the same illustration, again, ask yourself why? Well. Asshole. If you haven’t figured it out, THEY WANT TO LOOK GOOD FOR THEMSELVES LA. OMG. WHERE DO YOU THINK METROSEXUALITY COMES FROM LA. They want to look good for themselves. It gives them a self empowerment. It puts a spring in their step. It makes them feel good, to well feel pretty. I’m appalled with the intelligence levels of my imaginary readers. Time to imagine you people to oblivion! So, what have you gathered from my defining of the female psych thus far? Well. The female psych involves empathy. Being able to put yourself in the other persons shoes.

Lets move on. The same illustration. Okay. So. Dude. You get pissed off. She gets pissed off. And you people have a crappy time at an expensive candle lit dinner that SHOULD very well have been one of those magical moments that you people can laugh about and talk about. One of those relationship strengthening moments. Where does anyone get off  being able to ruin something like that? Think about it this way. You are displeased with how long she takes to get ready. Why not just push the dinner date a bit further. Compromise. You asshole. Tell her. “Hey hun’, shall I push dinner a bit later, so you have more time to get ready and look your best? I’ll be here at whatever time you want me to pick you up at?” instead of being the macho male who sets the time for the date. Compromise. Can? If you just bloody did that. Compromise. You’d still have that magical moment. For just the two of you. *whispers* “I still think you are an asshole. And a moron for not figuring this out earlier”

Urm. So yea. Bloody hell. Screw all those people that think being feminine. Is being submissive. They empathize. And bloody compromise. There’s a different level of maturity with being able to be feminine. That’s why lesbos are coming out everywhere. Mmmmm. Lesbos. (I digress)

Signing out,

Azngeek

Posted by azngeek at June 20th, 2007

Haro peopre of the world. I have hijacked azngeeks site. To bring to you news of the coming of new shoes. Omg. Chun lehhhhhhh. ~~Tee hee~~

Wahlau. Wei.

WHO THE HELL TALKS LIKE THAT IN REAL LIFE. I have a bunny rabbit hostage. And I’m not afraid to use it for leverage against you annoying annoying people. And. Urm. *insert horrid details with something funky to do with cute bunny wabbit*

As I had once announced the purchase of my Asics Kayano kicks.

They sadly died on me. I completely ripped them up. 300 freagin NZDollars down the drain. Well partially because all this while i’ve been running wrong. (Eg. Like a retard. My mantra now is “Heel to toe. Heel to toe. Heel to toe. WHAT THE HELL DID I SAY BITCH. Heel to toe”. I was apparently running urm. Not heel to toe. Therefore the injuries as well. It doesn’t help that I over pronate while running either. And have wide feat. Did I mention that I could possibly be a meta human or some derivative of the sort? Well I could. I could be weird-feet-man. And. Urm. Yea. Foil dastardly evil plans with my smelly feet. Or something along those lines. Now all I need is a theme song)

Somehow though. I’ve been conned into getting another pair of Asics. (Omg they are the most comfortable bestest shoes ever. I ruv you ASICS!)

Meet the G2120. It’s not the highest end over pronating shoe from asics. That award goes to the dearly departed kayano. But the G2120 is the second one up. 250 NZD. And to get extra padding I got a podiatric (made by a podiatrist) Pad thingy. To change the soles in my new kicks (No. I don’t think it’s like a tampon.) Well. Maybe I could a kin it to a foot thong. It’s exciting. It’s comforting. It offers support (Thongs offer sufficient support don’t they?) and it makes me run faster apparently. And makes my legs far sexier. (I lie on some of the accounts. Except the podiatric pad thingy)

*sigh* kicky. Hold me now. Tell me you love me.

Well. I’ve ordered another pair Of ASICS kayano though. It’s another kayano 12. Not too sure when I’ll get it.

But man. I think I’m beginning to get an inkling of a feeling of what women see in shoes. Sneakers. Asics ones. The overpronating range. Gee. They are. So. Damn. Comfy. It’s like orgasm for feet. (They have a neutral range. Mmm Well for those interested, I overpronate inwards not outwards. Buy me asics shoes. Now!)

Wooo. I’m doing 13 hours of A level tutoring a week now. Mmmm.

Signing off,

Azngeek

Posted by psych at June 18th, 2007

I’m blogging stark-almost naked. Got a cold/flu thing. Can’t and won’t learn the difference between the two. I swear I read it a few minutes ago. All I know is one’s caused be a virus and the other by a bac. Anyway, a/c is on. Room door locked. Naked. Not completely. My fear of there being a futuristic camera hidden in a soft toy makes me.. yea. slightly self-conscious. That and I hate feeling naked.
Armourless.
Props to nudists. NO PROPS TO FUGLY UNATTRACTIVE NUDISTS. They have rights but so do I and I do not want to see them outside. Or inside.. Blerhhh.
Listening to very chilly music. Just wasting time. Thats what I do when I have a non-fever inducing illness. No more solace in TV. So many new channels but nothing worth my time.

Don’t rush after something not worth your time. Sounds so much more deep than talking about TV channels. Was banging myself on the head for not posting Anything when I have absolutely Nothing else to do. Truth is there is nothing. Got something a few times but by the time I was halfway through it wasnt something I wanted to read anyway. Felt it flow out of my head(hands) like fine sand when you press really hard. Then it was gone. Maybe I shoulda made those half-posts into one ok-post. Barren head empty mind meaningless thoughts a bit of you. I notepaded a rant i had quite some time ago. A very very emo rant. This really doesnt sound like something I’d say when I’m sober. Not that I wasn’t when I typed it. It sounds honest but its mostly exaggerated I think. Hormones. What can you do but wait for em to calm down. Enjoy, for I have no soulsearching to do today.

ARGH. Need to vent something. Don’t think this is gonna be posted tho. If it is, more power to me. haha. ARGHH. How does someone make me feel so fucking good and bad at the same time. Im typing this as i think it out btw so grammatical or spelling errors could come about which i may or may not correct seeing as im not planning on posting in the first place. AKSLDJASLKJDASKLJLKZJCLZXJCKLSAJD. I might just try password-protecting it. But then again why would regular readers wanna read this when Its abslutely not meant to by funny or azngeek-material in the first place. Heck I wouldnt wanna read this. Well I would since everything which lies herein has everything in the world to do with me and the life i am living at the moment. She makes me feel like I can say anything to her. Share everything. We tease each other. I’m not sure if she likes me to the point of actually trying me out again but the things we do are so damn annoyingly more than friendish. The teasing. God. Feels so good. Makes me actually LOL in RL. Makes me so goddamn happy. But I’ve a feeling she doesn’t know she makes me feel this way. She might but I think its natural to feel like she doesn’t. I actually try to be extra adorablish around her coz she seems to like it. The things I say to make her laugh are so not the usual me. The things she says to me. Are like button pushers. They push the right ones. All the time. Looking at her is almost heaven. Melty. Im not too schooled in friend protocol. Well the basics are pretty much there. I just dont know where the line is crossed and if doing what I want to do will screw stuff up. How do I begin to explain what she does to me. Well lets begin with the obvious.. The here and now. -Its almost 12am. I just finished chatting with her(GOD@Q!SDLKAJLK felt good). -Im typing this out in notepad because im not bothered enough to log into azngeek atm. -I spent a pretty long time on this alone. And I might just X it. So tahts alot of time down the drain. Am I doing something wrong? right? I really want someone to tell me what to do. And I want that someones advice to work out great. Im sure many of you feel the same about someone. Some more than others. Now on to why I feel bad? I’ve been to the place with this person. Not that place. Somewhere nearby. Ive been there. And I moved away. Doesnt going back make me an insecure, heartless bastard who only thinks about himself? Worlds foremost emo. Indeed.

Yea just thought some people would like to read that. After all people like reading those confession things in mags and papers. Like how someone slept with her best friends brother and cheated on her boyfriend who is also best friends with her best friends brother. You get the picture.

pSyCh (The one which doesnt know where that ^ came from)

Posted by azngeek at June 17th, 2007

I used to be a huge huge advocate of fitness. You know. The body is a temple bull shit. And like. Going gaga over muscle bound men, and going, why don’t I have a body of a Greek God such as that. And then crying myself to sleep. Then I had a vision. You know. Working towards the goal of achieving that dream.

And then uni came into the picture. Many sleepless nights. Cancelled gym membership. And the rest of the things came tumbling down. I was becoming fat again. Actually. I am fat fat again. (fat-fat, like malay, gemuk-gemuk. The malay language seems to have an affinity for repeating adjectives to a) rub it in, and b) to place emphasis)

So now that I’m on holis again. Back back to the hard grind. Had a one an a half hour workout today. I can’t run nearly half as far as I could towards the beginning of summer, last year in December-ish. I can’t lift half as much as I could from the mid of last year. From benching 140. I’m now reduced to benching something like 70 kgs on machine. From my 140 kgs. I can’t even run 2ks without feeling like crap and having severe and highly chronic chest pains. I blame it on the monster called uni. And plus my crappy eating habits of having a pack of chips and other junk while watching every single movie. Which would be a lot of calories. A LOT. I was fine with it while I was still keeping up with the physical aspect of fitness. But now. Yea. I can’t do it anymore. In the eternal words of that Star Trek alien scottish dude. ” I just can’t do it captain.”

So why is this article called. Fitness 101.

As some of you people would know. I used to swear by isolation training. Training each individual muscle group. At a given time. Maxing each individual muscle to failure. Yes sure. That’s a good method of training. But I guess, isolation training as such, helps build mass, and individual muscle strength. Eg. bicep curls and other bicep related strain. That builds up the mass of your biceps. And it builds the strength of the individual muscle. Key word. Strength of the individual muscle. It strengthens the function of one particular movement. And how did I stumble upon this.

Well. I could out do a friend in weights with pretty much every single exercise. But I realized my friend could still throw further. And all that jazz.

The key to strengthening muscles more for motion? It’s not isolation. You have to place resistance on the motion you desire to gain strength in. I would get into more detail. But i’m bored with this article now.

So signing off.

Unfit Azngeek

Posted by psych at June 7th, 2007

Damn I’m feeling extremely polarized today. Politically. Human beings do not and can not tolerate impartiality, right? Humans must all live free and equal, right? But if things aren’t equal, do people take it lying down? Do they get used to it? Did early African Americans take it lying down? Well, yes they did. Until that lady stood up for her right to sit where the hell she wanted on that goddamn bus. One fucking bus. A normal day. Made her a hero of sorts. It made sense then. It makes sense now. Chain reaction, anyone?

Things are not that bad, say in an Asian petri dish where equal opportunity does not usually follow the message of unity that is being thoughtlessly drilled into countless minds. Unity. Inhabitants (of the petri dish, microbes and other minute things) live in harmony. Relative freedom. Everything seems to be going on fine. Even though the inhabitants realize that invisible barriers are limiting the choices and moves of a few but yet are acting as stepping stones for different microorganisms. For the sake of the well being of the entire petri dish, these things exist. For what exactly? Is someone going to make a stand eventually? Say enough is fucking enough? Will it make a difference? It’s there, and I don’t see an end to it for a long, long time. The other organisms have all found ways to overcome the invisi-barrier. Took them some work but they’re doing the best they can. Survivors. Most of the organisms actually understand each other’s problems, wants and needs but confrontations arise from time to time. Especially due to the actions and words of the small number of fucktards in the population.
*The writer loves his petri dish very much and realizes that not all of the microbes (and bacteria) can be generalized and classified as simply as stated. He did so for his own convenience. After all he can’t be arsed to do more homework than needed for the post due to it being solely for ranting purposes and realizes that when he wakes up tomorrow he may regret ever posting it due to it being slightly out of context but extremely true. (Every Bloody Word) Yes, he is pissed but he only gets this pissed once in a while. This makes him an extremely suitable life partner as he always feels bad and will buy you something expensive the day after. Don’t push it, and you’ll be fine. All I am saying [We’re back on the petri dish] is that it can just take one small thing to change the course of history as we know it. Imagine if one, tiny, insignificant microorganism just said, “Hmm, I see your point. But I think I deserve it as much as any other one here. More so in fact because I actually worked for it. I’ve lived in this petri dish my whole life. I deserve it.” The issues it is talking about can range from A-Z. Anything he is stopped from doing based on the thoughts and wishes of one group of microorganisms. My DOG I’m like a bloody Ahma talking on and on like this. Like complaining to a neighbor or something. If you read this and feel the way I feel, fine. If you don’t/disagree, thats fine too. It’s not like either one of us can do anything about it anyway.

God this reminds me so much of Averdims bunny post which was awesome [by the way]. The link to his site is on right. My college life is over. Graduation here I come.

New techno-ey shit ive been listening to. Pretty nice. “Vampires Are Alive” some Swiss DJ. Go checketh it out. Not sure how old or if its already in clubs. But seeing as how late Euro stuff gets here (the arrival of the numa numa song 50billion years after it was released had me LMFAO for a long time) I doubt it.

pSyCh

Posted by Morpork at June 5th, 2007

Ever since the exam period reared its ugly head, all I’ve had for meals are cheese, UHT preserved milk, eggs, instant 3-in-1 tea, biscuits and on one occasion, instant noodles. I might as well be out sailing the seas, eating food like this everyday. Come to think about it, I live about 1 km from the sea but I haven’t seen it for about 8 months.

Not bad material for a metaphor I guess. Exam is an island and getting there is a constant ride against the tide. And the nearer it gets, the more reef to grind your teeth. I wonder what is waiting at our port of call, somewhere beyond that great sea wall? Okay, that is starting to get cheesy and repetitive. If I wreck my ship, please collect me from DJ’s locker, ok?

Posted by azngeek at June 4th, 2007

Happy birthday Elby!!!oneoneone111oneoneone. You are now. OLD

Kind regards,

Your friendly neighborhood azngeek

Posted by azngeek at June 3rd, 2007

Winters been getting to me. Bah. Been wanting to go for a run for ages, but the weather has just been a peach, and has kept me in the crevices of a sullen unlively structure, I call home. Okay. Maybe My home ain’t so bad. But being cooped up. All day. It is kililng me. And the fact that I’m getting 1.45261 times unfitter by the day. I’m in trouble. Before you know it. I’ll be that fat fat blob. You used to know as. -> MeMeh. Anyways. I managed to get out at 4pm, for a run, then it rained, half way, when i was about 2 ks away from home. So yea. Random ideas seem to hit me in the cold rain. I’m not sure whether it’s because in the cold, there’s a rush of blood to the head, to keep myself conscious, keeping enough oxygen in the head region. Or it could be because all those veins are shrinking constricting the movement of blood to the brain causing the development of half-arsed ideas.

But yea it hit me. You know what. Curves. Roundess. It’s all sexually appealing to people at least. I never realised it. But think about it. It makes sense. Lots of sense.

Well lets just consider, the circle, the sphere. It’s possibly one of the strongest structures ever, the internal forces of a circle or sphere. Tick. That’s proof one of the natural reasons why us as people love them curves.

Secondly, if you think about it. All them sexual things. Are curvy. And round. Don’t believe me?

The female bust. Them breasties. They’z round. Not square. Not any form of polygon. That’s not the only thing. The male reproductive organs? Round. Not a polygon either. And when I say male reproductive organs, I mean both the cylindrical bit and those egg shape thingamajigs. And moving on to fetishes? Damn. Feet fetishes? That’s round as well. Those bubble toes that disgusting old men love? Round. Round. Round. And if you think about it a bit more. All em’ sexual toys. Usually are ROUND and have curves as well. You don’t get star shaped dildoes do you (Or do you. This is a rant and is meant to be non-educational, and is also known in some sever cases to cause temporary blindness and a reduction in the intelligence quotient). Talking a bit more about the female anatomy. Guys don’t go. “Damn she’s fine. Check out how flat she is. She’d fit perfectly in the corner in my room. Like a cupboard or something.” I think it’d be more along the lines of “Damn. Check out those curves.” (for a more obscene and less intelligible line used by one of the biggest fuck nuts i’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting some horny disgusting bastard from high school that I despise with a passion only athena and aries can harbor for each other –> I’m aries of course. He’s athena. Without the brains. And he’s not a female. Sort of. Or maybe he could be a crosser. I have no idea. “Wah lau. Like. Coca cola bottle *shows unintelligible hand gestures trying to draw a coca cola bottle in mid air*) I’m a bitter person sometimes.)

EDIT: I forgot to mention chubby sex as well roffelmayo

So you see where I’m heading at? Well. I’m just moving towards the greatest marketing get rich scheme ever it’s been patented by me pay me lots and lots of money now kay thanks bye. You see. Animals. Mammals. Humans. We are all. All essentially sexual beings. That’s the most primal urge. To reproduce. Why not use this to our advantage. A marketing tool. Centralize. Everything. Make everything round. Advertisements. Should involve round. Fat people. Like me. Then things sell.

All things technological should be round. TVs, should be rectangular blocks, they should be round panels.

source: ebay.com

They should be like this. But rounder. More curvey. Then they become sexual. Then they sell. Like. Urm. Prostitutes sell their service in Thailand. Like what some random dude once told me. In Thailand the main export is to “Jual buntut (sell ass) and maybe a bit of boobs as well” So yea. You don’t hear people saying. Jual flat and sexy stomaches. Note: Jual = sell in Malay. So I’ve proven how powerful a sexual and marketing tool being round is.

And because I said everything was round. And how everything is primarily sexual. Check this proof out.

Check out this dow jones chart. Stolen from some finance.google.com. For those who don’t know what the dow jones is, it’s basically an index that has a multitude of leading stocks in it’s arsenal which reflects how the industry is doing basically. So yea. Look if I take that graph. And superimpose it with another graph from 299.54 days back. And then let it undergo some insane mathematical theorem. You can see.

Using some high level calculus proofs. There’s a circle. Because. It’s sexual. And everything revolves around circles. Because I repeat. It’s sexual. So technically. I’ve figured out the meaning of life now. And I can predict world markets with this sexually enlightening discovery. So. Who wants to be my friend?I think you people will be happy to know I still can rant like I’m high on something.

-Whatever he’s on. I want 2!- Some stoner