Posted by azngeek at December 17th, 2006

I realize that I’ve not been posting much, thus the double whammy. Two articles tonight. And this one, seeing how most of the other articles have more of a male innuendo and point of view. I therefore would like to write an article with a female twist to it.

Let me start off with a quote from some stupid elderly housewives that have nothing better to do.

“It’s better to be an old men’s darling, than a young men’s sweetheart.”

This quote itself if taken apart from a male’s perspective would and could become quite sexually, urm…. yea. Enough said. SO as I was saying, article for the female population. Tricks to look out for in guys, and if they use these tricks, divorce their ass and take half of their property, OR challenge them on the grounds that you’ve already read of such trivial tricks on the one and only azngeek.com.

So we all know, when most males are young and foolish, they try so hard to please the female. Right? Right. Of course I’m right. God… how long have you people been reading my articles, yet you still question. To the naughty stool!

I digress. So back to the topic at hand. Guys, before marriage.

It’s honey. Darling. Sugar pie. Honey bunch. Cupcake. Chocolate. Fried Chicken. Big Mac. etc. Maybe not the last few. But you get the gist of it. And it’s constant whispering of sweet nothings. You know. All the sweet stuff. Random gifts. Sweet thoughts. An iron grid memory of important dates. All that kinda good stuff. Yea? Agreed? Good. Ooo. And the first kiss. Yea. That’s a ball wrenching moment. Because after that, every kiss becomes much like protocol. Hey honey. *kiss* Bye Honey *kiss* Lets have sex *kiss* You look good today *kiss* After sex *kiss* etc. And they’ll do anything and everything for you. Clean the toilets. Wash the dishes. Iron the clothes. Lick your feet. (Ugh, sick feet fetish people) That all falls under the category of young men’s sweetheart.

Then when the men aren’t so old. It’s the transformation to old men’s bitch! ZOMG. How is this an article for the women? Well this is a guide to point out if YOUR MAN falls under this category, you can divorce the son of a bitch. Rip his balls off. And have beautiful break up sex.(I highly recommend the breakup sex. It offers closure to the relationship. But breakup sex before the ball ripping is far enjoyable. That’s my recommendation. It helps the healing process too!) So again back to the guide. If your man used to do all that shit. And used to offer you all that kinky sex that you desired. And didn’t mind all the foreplay. Would do as much foreplay as you required. All that kinda crap. If he stops that shit. That means you’ve become an old man’s bitch. Makes you grab him a cold beer. Doesn’t do the house hold chores. Makes excuses like, oh I’ve got meetings, or the best one I’ve heard yet. I’ve got allergies. Can’t touch soap, or dust. Etc. Then you’ve become an old man’s bitch. Highly simple, yet 99% of the female population can’t get this. Which brings me to the point brought up by Borat.

“The head scientist of Khazakstan have found that the female brain is smaller than peanuts.”

So ask yourself this. Are you a young man’s sweetheart. Are you now an old man’s bitch? Now ask yourself, should I divorce the mother fucker.

And about the old man’s darling. That’ll come up in my next article with a female twist. As incomplete as this guide may be, or should I say as awesome as it maybe, that’s all I’ll give you for now to satiate your appetite. If you are still hungry for more, go have hot kinky sex. I hear that’s almost as good as reading a new article from the azngeek. And for you people who can’t have hot kinky sex, there’s always your hand. Just be creative.

Peace out,

Azngeek