The AznGeek

Posted by psych at December 30th, 2006

Im gonna take a break typing about my life. Back to my inner thoughts on how the universe should work. How life has been unfair to me. How my Zen Vision died on me the second I laid my hands on it. Creative Sucks. No wall charger, (hmm.. right name?), just the dumbass usb one. 6 hours of charging. Battery low. Shiny shiny black Zen -> Dead Zen = Useless Zen.

Ok. Nuff of that. So many hot people in Singapore. People of both genders are hot there. Not like thailand where only the girls.. er and maybe some ladyboys are hot. So many modelly people there. Lotsa Hot Chinese People. Lots of hot white/eurasian people. Lots of hot Malay people (ok not that many but way more than here anyway) Whats wrong with us Malaysians, Vision 2020 my ass. If we can’t get more hot people in here we will NEVER be developed. I mean Europe’s full of hot ppl. And They’re Developed. Africa.. Er not so many hot people imo. And.. Not developed. Patterns are forming in my maturing brain. What we need… are more plastic surgeons. Thats what China’s up to i think. More plastic surgeons = more hot people = Developed Nation.

Back to the universe. I think its going off balance a little. All the wars. Reading about wars when you’re young make them seem like things long gone like the titanic or well, WW2. They are kinda like horror histories about how stupid people were and how many people died due to the stupidity of a select few. But hey guess what, its happening again. In Africa, and of course, in the middle east. Guess humans dont learn from history after all. People are still dying. But it’s weird how your grandkids will be asking you about what you were doing while the war was going on and stuff. You’ll just go.. “Er.. I just saw a few clips in the news about it.” “I think America won the war” or “Oh, I was busy shopping ’cause i was a teen in the 2000’s, therefore those were times of many sales and gadget/clothes/stuff-buying.” Anyway the war’s bigger than many people think. I think that was my point.” I hope my grandkids are smart enough to know that if the war wasnt anywhere that affected me personally, I wouldnt really care. That sounds really really selfish or ignorant but it makes sense to me. I’ve got other things to worry about. Like girls.

*skip this is you dont wanna read about the most awesome girl in the world*

On to girls. I miss Y. Who doesnt know this site. I think. Thats why Im using her name. Damn it Haha. I changed it to Y. For the record I actually typed out her full name out there. Doesnt matter anyway. The only girl who made me cry. Deep inside. Well not cry like a girl. She made me cry like a guy. Hard, masculine tears meant to bury her memory deep inside my thoughts. Bury her in all the pain until i just start to forget it. And her along with it. Well.. I think it didnt work. I cannot move on. Damn. Haha. Its not her fault. Well it is coz shes so damn perfect that I cant go for anyone else but its mostly mine. Hey, Im messed up. Like most people. But Cmon its been such a freakin long time. I need to find some awesome girl who can make me forget. I’ll find her. If its the last thing.. [See I ended with a positive, moralboosting note =)]
*************************************************

A week without warcraft saw me dreaming about playing it. Then waking up dissapointed. Happened once and freaked me out. I love it. It loves me. It makes me happy. I wanna marry it. Have baby warcrafts. Make a warcraft family. Buy them a big house. Watch them grow up. Then maybe get it on with a Diablo 3 on the side. then when warcraft finds out, it uses my money and goes to a plastic surgeon to add on more expansions and new maps. BIG BIG MAPS. Bouncy maps. \ /. Er.. but ill divorce it. But its already used up so much of my cash that my darn pc cant support diablo 3. so i lose that too. all im left with is…. o0. OMGGG G33K TALK. IM G33k TALKING.

Er.. fo shizzle ma nizzle.

have fun lives invisible people

pSyCh

Posted by azngeek at December 17th, 2006

What light is light, if she be not seen?
What joy is joy, if she be not by?

She is my essence, and I leave to be,
If I be not by her fair influence,
Foster’d, illumined, cherish’d, kept alive.

Posted by azngeek at December 17th, 2006

I realize that I’ve not been posting much, thus the double whammy. Two articles tonight. And this one, seeing how most of the other articles have more of a male innuendo and point of view. I therefore would like to write an article with a female twist to it.

Let me start off with a quote from some stupid elderly housewives that have nothing better to do.

“It’s better to be an old men’s darling, than a young men’s sweetheart.”

This quote itself if taken apart from a male’s perspective would and could become quite sexually, urm…. yea. Enough said. SO as I was saying, article for the female population. Tricks to look out for in guys, and if they use these tricks, divorce their ass and take half of their property, OR challenge them on the grounds that you’ve already read of such trivial tricks on the one and only azngeek.com.

So we all know, when most males are young and foolish, they try so hard to please the female. Right? Right. Of course I’m right. God… how long have you people been reading my articles, yet you still question. To the naughty stool!

I digress. So back to the topic at hand. Guys, before marriage.

It’s honey. Darling. Sugar pie. Honey bunch. Cupcake. Chocolate. Fried Chicken. Big Mac. etc. Maybe not the last few. But you get the gist of it. And it’s constant whispering of sweet nothings. You know. All the sweet stuff. Random gifts. Sweet thoughts. An iron grid memory of important dates. All that kinda good stuff. Yea? Agreed? Good. Ooo. And the first kiss. Yea. That’s a ball wrenching moment. Because after that, every kiss becomes much like protocol. Hey honey. *kiss* Bye Honey *kiss* Lets have sex *kiss* You look good today *kiss* After sex *kiss* etc. And they’ll do anything and everything for you. Clean the toilets. Wash the dishes. Iron the clothes. Lick your feet. (Ugh, sick feet fetish people) That all falls under the category of young men’s sweetheart.

Then when the men aren’t so old. It’s the transformation to old men’s bitch! ZOMG. How is this an article for the women? Well this is a guide to point out if YOUR MAN falls under this category, you can divorce the son of a bitch. Rip his balls off. And have beautiful break up sex.(I highly recommend the breakup sex. It offers closure to the relationship. But breakup sex before the ball ripping is far enjoyable. That’s my recommendation. It helps the healing process too!) So again back to the guide. If your man used to do all that shit. And used to offer you all that kinky sex that you desired. And didn’t mind all the foreplay. Would do as much foreplay as you required. All that kinda crap. If he stops that shit. That means you’ve become an old man’s bitch. Makes you grab him a cold beer. Doesn’t do the house hold chores. Makes excuses like, oh I’ve got meetings, or the best one I’ve heard yet. I’ve got allergies. Can’t touch soap, or dust. Etc. Then you’ve become an old man’s bitch. Highly simple, yet 99% of the female population can’t get this. Which brings me to the point brought up by Borat.

“The head scientist of Khazakstan have found that the female brain is smaller than peanuts.”

So ask yourself this. Are you a young man’s sweetheart. Are you now an old man’s bitch? Now ask yourself, should I divorce the mother fucker.

And about the old man’s darling. That’ll come up in my next article with a female twist. As incomplete as this guide may be, or should I say as awesome as it maybe, that’s all I’ll give you for now to satiate your appetite. If you are still hungry for more, go have hot kinky sex. I hear that’s almost as good as reading a new article from the azngeek. And for you people who can’t have hot kinky sex, there’s always your hand. Just be creative.

Peace out,

Azngeek

Posted by azngeek at December 17th, 2006

I’ve taken up work for the past 2 weeks. And boy have I busy thus the lack of updates. But don’t fret now the highly probable non-existent readers, that I have an article so mind bogglingly, groundbreaking-ly funny that you people will be cringing in disgust while laughing your sexy little asses off.

Well work. Work is not exactly highly entertaining. But the pay is good. Keeps my pockets happy. So I keep on going even when I find the work quite disagreeable with my “Will do anything for money EXCEPT work” policy but seeing how I’m Asian, this does not bode well with my culture and upbringing. And my parents would probably smack me around with a chopstick if they were to find out me practicing my awesome policy. But there’s the cookies for you, and that’s just how they crumble. So I work.

Getting on to the dirty bit. How can work be dirty? Conversations with my cousin:

Conversation 1

Cousin: Hey guess what.
Me : ?
Cousin: *Points at glassware with pointy edge.* That’s a butt plug for your christmas present.
Me :… o.O, That would hurt. You are dirty.
Conversation 2 (Still at work, in my cousin’s office, at my lappie)
Cousin : Hey Azngeek’s sister
Me : *shakes leg, very fidgety, tired, need to keep moving otherwise I’ll fall asleep*
Cousin : Guess what Azngeek is doing. He has his face very close to the screen and he’s shaking. A lot. Must be some nasty midget porn. Oh dear god…
Me : …. You are dirty.

Conversation 3

Cousin : Don’t drop the bar of soap.
Me : You are the one who’s going to go to prison you ass.
Cousin : No no. You are the one going to prison. And there’ll be a Big Bubba. He’ll be waiting for you to drop the bar of soap. You’d like that won’t you?
Me : You are dirty.

That’s all I can remember for now. My memory oddly seems to be failing me…

Posted by psych at December 11th, 2006

The island was really great. Beautiful. I mean. Nothing compared to P. Kapas or like Redang and stuff. But theres just so much awesome looking hugeass islands surrounding it. Its just different. Anyways, my awesome 3 day *more like 2 day but wth* vacation began normal. The bus screwed up. It went furthur than we needed to go. An extra hour wasted but that was fine. Missed the first ferry there coz of misinformation and camwhores =). Erm.. reached there at night. Getting the hotel etc was hitchless. Thanks to awesome planning by me.. Ahem. Anyways this post is gonna be an almost moment by moment recall by me. Almost like a journal entry. But who am i kidding. Its not. Read on please.
Almost knocked a cow on the way there. Darn stupid blind huge cow. It was almost pitch black and the roads were crap. Ron was driving. Revved coz there was a huge stretch of empty road in front. The aforementioned cow ran to the middle of the road before realizing it couldnt pass the whole way because of traffic on the other lane. It therefore reversed and that was when Ron hit the brakes. Ppl were screaming like little girls. Who can blame em. We were seriously close. I think we brushed next to the cow when we came to a stop. Jez wasnt filming. That wouldve made a great holiday vid.
Got to hotel. Went out for dinner really late. Thai stuff. Had a sore throat so i was pretty annoyed with it. Awesome lemon/lime warm drink thing was heaven. Argh. Someone bought some smokes. Waste of money imo coz it didnt get used up properly. Bought beer. A bottle of pink vodka Ron suggested cuz it was in some commercial. 5% stuff. Reminded me of some punch drink. Pretty good. Appletinis. Lmao. Got a whatdoyacallit.. carton or beer? Erm.. flashed an old white dude. with the headlights. We saw a whole load of overdressed imo white ppl chiling at a pub thing next to an overpriced but clean beach. We got back to the hotel. Some interesting and some very very bad ghost stories were told. Beers were put in the fridge cuz they were hot. warm whatever. Had tea. Throat still killing me. Ended up sleeping in a bed with two other guys because well.. haha. I had no choice. 2 beds with 5 guys.. Its simple math =). Ron and Jez. Mmm. I think I survived fine.=/

Morning.. woke up later than expected. breakfast etc. Went to the tiniest Megamall I have ever seen in my life. OMFG. Each floor has a parking capacity of what 9 cars? Hell yeah for the pharmacy there. Got throat stuff. Mmmm. Spent some time there.. Got chocs for some very important people. Was gonna go to a supposedly awesome beach next.

Packed up a few beers. Got rammed into by a damn motorcyclist on the way. Well we took the wrong road and was gonna go back. Anyway long story short. The car door was wrecked. Settled the problem with the fucker and his fucking fuck of a motorbike. Those were the longest minutes of my life. Waiting… Paying the car dude made us broke. Seriously broke. Starved the next day. Anyway, finished all the beers and the JD San bought. The best night possibly of my life. Happiness after that crappy day was heaven. CC got slightly out of control. But he threw the lighter out so someone couldnt smoke. Which was good. =) Erm.. I was happy like I said. Neways, I didnt drink that much anyway. Like just enough to get happy and sleep.. Dreamless. Yeah. Woke up. Ferry back, bus back. Ron was pukey.

I have no beautiful island beach pics cuz haha. We didnt do anything beachy except get kinda drunk on the dirty private resort beach. It was pitch black at night so.. not nice beach pics. Maybe next time. That was imo the most awesomest worst trip of my life. Alot of details left out. Like the condoms. Well, lets leave it at that altho its prolly not what youre thinking. I think that was it. The gist anyway. Haha. I smell sex and candy. Marcy playground. Nice song. Gotta go. I need more Warcraft than I’m getting. Bought all my presents. Think i didnt leave anyone out. Saw a transgendered individual in Ikano. or was it IKEA. I forget. pretty obvious imo but not everyone has my keen sense of spotting them. I think I’m free to say that they creep me out even tho i think im very very open. Very open. Gots to go. AZNGeeks still not done with exams ithink. He left me pretty lonely here.

btw, heroes is nice. very nice. its like what i wanted lost to be before it became fucked up. if it doesnt change, i think i’ll watch it until it ends. =)

oh yeah. the ferry back had a movie playing. a 9/11 show. i learnt a new phrase. Out standing Rice. No not Condy. Jeremy=Outstanding Rice. According to the crappy subtitles anyways. Haha. Jez has new name. I want warcraft. And Benny Benassi to be my slave and dj for me every night. dreaming on.
pSyCh

Posted by azngeek at December 5th, 2006

The azngeek is still alive people. And this is a song. Fine. It ain’t no song. I lie. Shut up. So yes. A tribute to a man. A man above all men. The man of men. Manly man oh man, he’s manly. I present to you, drum roll please, my little brother, who’s actually quite gargantuan. Big. Well hung. :/

You guys are sick. Mweehehehe. You guys were imagining things weren’t you. Sick bastards. This is a tribute to the man. Who made me a man. Who’s taught me so much, made me who I am today. For my 18th year being alive, from a spermatoza colliding head on with a fertile ovari… that sounds so damn fucking wrong.  But moving on, so from being the snot nosed kid, to the fat kid at school that everyone picked on to the manly greek god that I currently am… striving for : /, I’d never have done it without my old man.

The life lessons, the support financially, and in his very own way emotionally, here’s a shout out to my old man. I’ve found my closure and here’s a tribute. For being an awesome dad, forever trying to do what you thought was best regardless and even if some of those times you made mistakes, all that has been forgiven. You are my dad. And for the Christmas season of 2006, here’s a tribute, and here’s to forgiving and forgetting, and more life lessons.

Regards,

The Azngeek