Posted by azngeek at September 29th, 2006

Lets think fantastic fucking four. Thing. He’s orange. Now darken that shade of orange. Move towards the redder region of orange. Now shrink the Thing a gazillion times. Still have no idea what I’m getting at? *smacks head*

Get rid of the stupid-lame-zomg-bbq catchphrase “It’s clobbering time.” and add the catch phrase “He he he. Tickle me! Give me a hug!” And you have the red thing. Better known as Elmo. I was doing nothing in particular and he just came to mind. Elmo. That red piece of shit. The fucker that gave me countless sleepless nights. I’m being man enough here to admit it. That freaky red puppet scared me. Scared me a lot.

I cried seas, no oceans thinking of the fucked up creature that lurked in my closet. He haunted the very depth of my soul. His squeaky high pitched voice, a broken record. His smell reeking of decaying corpses. Always at the corner of my mind.

And of course. This whole post has been a lie. I don’t hate Elmo. NEVER been afraid of him. For anyone who fell for it. I still think you non-existent readers are morons.

:P I can’t believe I’m spamming my own site with non-sensical rubbish

Inspiration for this post: Went to a toy store lately lol.