The AznGeek

Posted by psych at August 31st, 2006

happy happy happy sad sad sad happy happy happy sad sad sad……….

I feel kinda confused, kinda in the middle of some kind of phase..

Second puberty? Maybe my third if you count that time I was all soft when love started sucking for me (the bad kind of sucking..)

That makes me think about satisfaction..

I can’t get no… satisfaction…

I can’t get no… satisfaction…

…Push me… And then just touch me… Till I can get my satisfaction….Satisfaction,satisfaction,satisfaction..hmm…dont mind the mindlessness of it all. It seems to be making perfect sense to me at the moment. Tired. Running around all day trying to get crap together. Ran to the 4th floor(where all my bloody classes are) at col from asia café to pass up a formal report. Bloody teacher failed to mention she’s a bitch about details. God. Ran to the library to separate everything and staple the sections Highlighted the actual citations that I cited. Couldn’t remember what else she wanted. Ran back up to ask. Ran back down and finished it up. Fucking locker area in the library was so damn crowded. Argh. Ran back up. Gave it. Sighed relief. One down. I could have given it later but they’ve got some kind of policy where even like 5 minutes late gets you a 10% mark deduction. Don’t wanna take the chance since my classes are back to back and I cant take five minutes to do anything other than pee during different classes. So skipped eating anything to finish something which I finished earlier and pass up something I could have passed up later.

Enough about me. Bored now. Will continue that story which I have no idea what to do with cos im all out of ideas and its prolly gonna suck but its better than leaving it to die a graceless death. Here goes guys. Cover your eyes. Ill punctuate the story properly I promise. Bad punctuation pissed me off too but bothered I cant be right now as my fingers are typing faster than my brain can punctuate. Sry.

Where was I…?

Ten strides away from where Clara and the outsider met, curious eyes glared at them through substantial obscurity in the form of undergrowth and darkness. They gawked with unnatural intensity at the unaware nun and a ceaselessly muttering voice emanated from where it stood.“Wait. Wait. Wait. Waiting. Wait must. Must wait. Patient. Patience.”

It stared intently at the nun as she unlocked the large lock which held the large gates securely together. It heard the subtle scraping of metal on metal as the ancient safeguard sprang open like two willing, slender legs. (j/k I respect women and everything they bring to our fair planet. Seriously. SERIOUSLY) A sudden wind caused Sister Clara to clutch at her robes and hurry the stranger into the convent. The endless muttering started increasing in speed and severity.

“Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill…..”

It moved in on its target.

Happy Independence Day YOU AWESOME MALAYSIANS!

pSyCh

Posted by sunon88 at August 26th, 2006

Big boys don’t cry. Not!

Who chokes up at sad movies? Who gets so swept away by excitement that they hug complete strangers? Who falls apart when a relationship ends? The surprising answer: men. Granted the film is about sports, the exuberance explodes in stadium and the break-up may be their idea.

Surprising ey?

Real fact about men.

‘Women talk to clear their heads, but men think before they talk,’ says psychiatrist Mark Goulston. “If they didn’t, they’d risk saying something stupid and being humiliated, or offending other man and getting beaten up. They are much safer not saying anything.”

What lurks behind a man’s silent, stoic mask? Vulnerability. Most men experts agree, are far more insecure than they like to admit, or their wives ever guess. “Inside every man is a secret fear that he lacks competence and courage, that he’s not as manly as he should be,” says Goulston. “A man knows he is supposed to take a bullet for his family. A man knows he is supposed to fix whatever gets broken. When he’s feeling powerless, he shuts down and withdraws.”
Some men have dared to let their softer side show, but many men remain confuse about how they can dare to share. “In one breath, a woman says she wants us to be emotionally open,” says Westover, who is divorced. “In the next, she wants us to be her rock.” Women are asking us to perform these incredible emotional gymnastics and mess with out heads. Men don’t have a road map or a role model to show us how to be both emotional and strong.”

Be considerate to guys k, girls? Oh, btw this is my first post in azngeek.com. It’s an honour, hopefully this would be a solace i can turn to just like how it worked out for the azngeek himself.
Rambo

Posted by azngeek at August 26th, 2006

Now, is one of those rare moments for a serious post from the azngeek. It’s about something that all my friends would know that I’m passionate about. It’s about animals and the inhuman acts of cruelty that we as people have unfairly commited. (No psych, I’m not just passionate about cats you fucker. Just because I twisted someones arm and threatened to break it off for spitting on a stray cat, but I was young and stupid back then. Violence doesn’t solve everything. I’ve learnt that the hard way) So yes. About animals. *sigh* I just heard of news of a pet of one of my dad’s workers, lets call him Charles for names sake, I don’t think it’s fair for me to divulge names. It was a dog, of a mix breed, that was a large, fairly stoic,and was friendly as hell. It wouldn’t have hurt a fly (I’ll call him Charlie from here on out, in respect to him, and I don’t think letting the whole world know his name would be fair to him nor his owners). Charlie received the ultimate punishment, from being a great dog. A dog that protected his master, and his master’s property. Some mother fucking burglar (who should be castrated and then have his balls shoved up so far up his rectum that it would be a new form of impalement) broke into Charles’ home, and as he was about to make off with some of Charles’ belongings, brave noble Charlie bit him. Bit him so he was unable to make off with the items. Bit him so that Charles’ could contact the authorities to ensure that some form of swift justice was brought upon this mother fucker. But how wrong he was.

The police arrived at the scene, and the fucker for a burglar was apprehended for questioning. Nothing odd there. But then here’s the twist. The burglar JUST FUCKING RECEIVED A FUCKING WARNING FOR TRESPASSING?! WHAT THE FUCK! The worst part is, the burglar pressed charges against Charles and Charlie. Charlie had UNRIGHTFULY assaulted Mr. Burglar. And in the pureness of kiwi land, dogs that can commit such an act of violence need to be put down. We can’t have dogs like that roaming around on private property. They might NOT BITE the owner or the owner’s friends, but MIGHT FUCKING RIP THE ARMS OF BURGLARS OFF. Why? Because New Zealand law says that he TECHNI-FUCKING-CALLY didnt’ steal anything. He just was trespassing on private property, therefore only deserved a warning. Fuck.This is just so damn painfuly outrageous. This act on injustice is an obscenity, and this tainted twisted form of justice should be held in contempt.just like those fucked up lawmakers… I’m upset… I’m angry… I’m sorry for Charles and Charlie. I dont’ know what I can do right now, but just share their story. Not for them to be judged. But for them to be remembered. And for the law offender to be remembered. And for the police who were doing their jobs to be remembered. Not to forget the politician who came up with this absurdity for a law. Here, I pay my most humble respects, and Charlie, rest in peace. Remembrance is my gift to you, though it means nothing now, and one day, I hope I can do something so these rights, are not wronged.

Peace out. Azngeek.

Posted by azngeek at August 26th, 2006

Ok, you know what, I really should be at my books nerding away like a bitch getting high on crack. But I won’t. For you my readers, I shan’t deny you from high quality azngeek content with the high quality azngeek stamp of approval. Not just yet. But today might just be the last day of me posting for a week and a half. I’ll get to nerding as soon as soon as the azngeek unleashes the wrath of his verbal diarohea on you non-existential readers though he’s seriously beginning to doubt his readers as being completely non-existential.(speaking in third-person is stupid. back to first-person-speek!)The comments seem real. Almost too real. I remember when azngeek.com first started out, as thought it was yesterday.*whispers* I commented on my own post, with varying aliases, to boost my diminshing ego. Ok, fine I didn’t post my own comments. But that’s something all together. I digress. Back on topic to the beefu mobile! What is beefu you might be asking yourself (or more interestingly porn balls), you not-so-very-non-existential readers. Well, I’m here to talk about one of my favorite chinese joints. Some of the best Chinese in the southern hemisphere. They cook good chinese. Mmm chinese. Cook those little asian babies!!!! I mean. Urm. They cook amazing chinese food! =P Though I did hear from somewhere that azn babies taste sweet and sour (that’s an ongoing joke between some of the guys that I doubt any of you will get) (I think it’s quite weird how people say, eat chinese, or cook chinese. It has two meanings. One with a very much more cannibalistic undertone)
Soooo… urm back on topic. As per usual, I stray like a urm.. stray urm dog? So urm bout this place which serves awesome food. They have an awesome Maître d’. Why? Because she’s efficient, she has made an art of taking orders, she keeps customers happy, knows how to treat them. She’s just all around amazing at her job, but most of all, she has great fantabulous entertainment value! My family are regulars at the place, but the Maître d’ never ever fails to induce a few chuckles from the ever so serious and anal retentive azngeek who is definately holier than thou art. How? Mmm, I’ll let the conversation below taken place during the ordering of food speak for itself :

Maître d’: What would you rike tonight?
Mr. A : Urm what would you recommend?
Maître d’: Would you rike meat?
Mr. A : Ok, yea meat sounds good.
Maître d’: How about some beefu!? (she meant beef)
Mr. A : Mmm maybe some pork bla bla bla
Maître d’: Ok sir. Would you rike some porn balls?
Mr. A : *wtf look inscribed across face of Mr.A* Porn balls?
Maître d’: Points at menu, under the seafood section*
Mr. A : PRAWN BALLS! OHH
Maître d’: One porn balls?
Mr.A : Ok porn balls sound fine… (he’s crying inside. He must be. Crying so hard from all that painful laughing that he’s surpressing right this instant)
Maître d’: bla bla bla
Mr.A : bla bla bla (finishes up on ordering)

The end! So. Anyone up for some Porn balls? By the way, I should add that the place does awesome fly porn balls! (fried prawn balls) :p

azngeek

Posted by azngeek at August 24th, 2006

Posted by psych at August 22nd, 2006

I like girls. I might not like them all the time. I’ve come close to actually swearing off girls at certain times during the confusion of my adolescence. (Yea all that testosterone didn’t help) But those bouts of anti-girlity actually helped me realize one thing:

* Regular people don’t find their soulmates when they’re teenagers. If they do then they’re extremely lucky but for all us regular ppl - it aint gonna happen so easily. Getting your heart broken doesn’t mean that you’re being rejected by your “soulmate”. (Think about it, a real soulmate wouldn’t dump you. Vice versa. Pretty simple). It just means that the other person is human and is doing what s/he thinks is right. It doesn’t really make them right. It just makes them human.
* The above only applies if you believe in this soulmate garbage (gasp). [Imo if theres no such thing my future lovelife is gonna be pretty f’ed up cos I’m counting on it =)]

Thanks to AG’s post, I’ve started thinking about all the girls who have driven me crazy in the psat.. and some who still do. I consider them all crushes. All except one anyway. But I’m not mentioning that because recalling it still sucks. Ahh the weirdness of childhood love. It is/wasn’t unrequited.. It just changes/ed over time, as all things do.

A random girl named Betty.
She was just a kid. Just a kid. A young kid. (omg!) Yea so was I. I Am No Paedo. No matter what a select few weirdos might think. Erm.. this was in kindergarten. Either first or second year. Can’t remember her last name for the life of me. But yea rare name imo. She’s the first and only Betty I know so far. Anyways no contact with her for a gazillion years so I’m sure she won’t see this. As far as the relationship went, I guess it was as innocent as it could get. Teacher asked us to describe the person standing opposite us and I said something stupid and goofy like pretty/beautiful. She blushed. We talked. We formed what I can only describe as bf/gf without any hormones involved. We hung out together daily after that. Last I saw her was at graduation. Can’t even remember that day at all except for waving goodbye to her before getting in the car. Still have her number written in a really really old phonebook. Don’t have the guts to call just to catch up. Don’t really want to anyway for some reason. Its been over 10 years now I think so thats alot of catching up.

Jennifer Aniston + Avril Lavigne

Need I say more? Anything hotter than them just disappears once they get in my mind. Yea, haven’t actually met them but it wouldve been some kinda injustice not to mention them. Jen’s the reason I actually started watching FRIENDS and I’m eternally grateful to her for that alone. The fact that shes gorgeous is just a plus. Avril made my teenage years happier. I love her. Love. Her.

A Girl From Primary School Who Might Read This

Yea noone really knows this but I did have a slight crush on a girl in my primary school. Nothing major but enough to get me riled up when she came near. Lasted a few months with nothing eventful happening. Everybody wes more siblingy than partnery back then anyway.
At least TMK =)
College Girls

Just a few who I think actually deserve to be here >P. Kidding. Everyone is beautiful in his/her own special way. External beauty just makes people like you more. Its true I guess. It sucks for extremely hideous people but its a weird fact. I think it’s hardcoded into our [dna]? so that we get the best children we possibly can get. No second picks. So, obese people arent sought after because then your children will likely be obese and not fit enough to survive in the wild. Or something like that. Rambbbbbling. Interesting thought.

I’ve wondered if it counts as sexual deviation(dunno the right term so wth) when someone can’t help but fall for (what the rest of the world sees as) unattractive people. I mean if guy+guy/girl+girl attractions are commonplace then why not right? Its not that far of a stretch. Then again even gay people only look for hot gay ppl to hook up with. So gender is not a determining factor but looks are? Looks before everything else? Really? Really? Picture an island. Youre stuck there. Gonna live there your whole life. Picture a guy and an old woman with you. The guy is fit, not repulsive and friendly. The woman is old, saggy(><), dirty(like unhygienic dirty), unkept, and lets see… missing all her teeth, is diseased ridden and has many many STD’s. Haha that was an exaggeration. Ok. Lets just say she was… pretty darn ugly. Girls can do the whole scenario vice versa (ugly old man with the works). And YOU HAD to do one of them to stay sane (i guess you could hold out for a few years). Who would it be? And yea it has to be either one, cant be neither etc. You could just commit suicide but wheres the fun in that.

OMG didnt mention any college girls.. lets see. Theres the 17 year old who makes me smile alot. Then theres the 18 yr old who is so damn funny she makes me laugh without even trying. Then theres the other 18 year old who is hot hot hot hot hot and taken taken taken taken. Then theres the 18 yr old who keeps calling me Jonny. Er.. the smart one from Chem whos just a little too shy.. the average one whos always asking for my help..

Too many to list. Forgot my purpose of typing this in the first place. This was actually split into two cos I keep running out of time. This(the second half) comes a day later so you can expect the meaning of the first part to be lost somewhere in the middle.

Avril….. avril… love me..

Gday

pSyCh

Posted by azngeek at August 20th, 2006

I was busy this now. With physics. After this getting down and dirty with chemistry. Sooooo. Mmm. Seeing how I PROBABLY will be busy with upper-being-divine-intervention stuff ( anti-climatic, I know, but I lack the vocab to keep it up, or I did it purposefuly to get all you non-existential readers down!) So what could I interest you at this time of night non-existential readers? I was thinking, a babe rant seems to be in order, seeing how everything in the world is ever so depressing and that a mammoth asteroid is crashing into the earth in 10 seconds, … actually no, an asteroid isn’t crashign into earth in 10 seconds. But the world is depressing, most of the times. But I guess that’s what we call life. Sister Clara might be able to shed some light to this gloominess no? Or not. Psych has a fetish for religiously influential people. He’ll probably kill me for that remark non-existential readers, but that was just making the point of me going to the utmost extremes to ensure you people are entertained. As usual I’m off topic, getting back ON TOPIC babes! All dudes love em’ Or just me. Preferably just me, so I have none to compete with and babes would drop at my feet like dead flies around a pile of turd. That’s crappy imagery, but it was intetiontal, to serve as an anti-climax for you horny bastards for readers. SoYesAboutBabesAtMySchool…. There are a few candidates that I’d classify as holy-cow-be-mine-please-kthxbai-love-you-too. Mmm, in Malaysia there were 3 girls who had that disgustingly-stupifying effect on me but details on that for a different day. Today it’s about the most current girls who turn my head 360 degrees, and then some.

Top on my list

Agnes Soh
*sigh* *swoon* *melt* Damn. She’d turn me into a pile of smouldering dust just by looking in my direction and saying Hi. There’s something inexplicably divine about her. There’s something there, that I can’t exactly say is tangible as such, but it melts my feet in place like red iron coming into contact with pure tin on a souldering board. I’d be stupidly happy to be melted into place by her side (or on a skateboard which was somehow freakishly connected to her and being tugged along) any day of the week, rain or shine, wind or snow. She radiates with this subtly bubbly character but with a balance of assertiveness and determination. Yes yes, her eyes are filled with determination and intelligence. It shows with how much she gets done so effectively and efficiently. Why o why do I have to meet a person so amazing in this life time. So intelligent, and funny, and impossibly beautiful. I’m not ready. I need another life time to prepare. *sigh* (If she one day does read this, I know I’m better off dead, sure the thought of a being so divine, so worship worthy stumbling upon my humble site would congruently place me on a temporary sky high, but it would be short lived by the exasperating thought of her finding out my utter stupidity, and her probably being completely frightened by my almost fanatic like fancy… that would be the end of me, definitely - I probably better end my rant about Agnes, before I end up making more of a fool of myself. Not that I don’t do that often enough anyways) (Oh yea, she said Hi, and she knows my name! Holy crap! Yesterday she said hi! We had at least a 20 seconds conversation intiated by her!!!)

EDIT: The other two will recieve their own post. Will keep you updated. By the way, hypothesis testing is an absolute bitch.Random Quote: “Haiyah. I smash you with my japanese tofu!” -I dunno,that’s a crap quote but something that came to mind-

I think anyone would be hardpressed to find babes in their class, I had the pleasure and displeasure of knowing 3 in Malaysia, that drove me bonkers, led me to abandon any myriad of intelligence that I was thought of to possess, my sanity and everything else.

Azngeek

Posted by azngeek at August 20th, 2006

Hay non-existential readers. I think you all should make your way over here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zTPDVkVFOs

Mclars - Download This Song. It’s a catchy tune, and I think it carries some wisdom so profound that all of you should watch it a gazillion times plus one. And if you like the song, go to;

http://www.myspace.com/mclars

Download their songs, and if you like them, offer a donation. They are pretty awesome. Go go go Mclars! They sound like the typical American whiny group that are being manufactured at such a streamline rate that they will slowly overpopulate the world, but their lyrics are actually good. I think that’s a key difference, and the reason why you should check them out. If you don’t you really suck. Suck rong time! (Suck long time!)

Heh, on another note it’s Natalie’s birthday. Have a smashing 18th. Go out, get smashed. Go get buzzed, go get drunk, go get drunk! You are legal now, and can now do the things you were previously doing illegally, legally! Quite mind boggling, that she’s already 18! Natty nat nat!

Azngeek

Random Quote: “I like Organic Chemistry. It sounds like Orgasmic Chemistry.” - Azngeek- 

Posted by azngeek at August 19th, 2006

Until the 7th of September expect a scarcity of post from me, the Azngeek. Psych my co-author might continue posting if he sees it fit. But I’ll be a bit caught up with some upper-being-divine-intervention kinda thingies for the next 2 weeks + so I thought I should warn you that one of your main sources of entertainment will be lost in the abyss of time known as the 2 weeks without post. A sad day, at azngeek.com, but sacrifices have to be made, little children have to be run over, and forests have to be chopped down. That’s the way life goes, and that’s the way life will go. It’s a cruel world out there. Cyber space is no exception and for anyone who expected it to be any different, you are an absolute moron. I might post witihin the next 2 weeks but I highly doubt I will have the actual time to do so, with me being busy with the upper-being-divine intervention stuff, that should only be known to you and you only, my non-existential readers because I place so much importance on you people. It’s very much like Rurouni Kenshin who went out to wage war against that big as clan, and only telling one person about his leaving. I think you people are as important as that. So yea. Love me. Love me good. Love me love me good good. Or not. *shrug* By the way, do check out the accents bit. I think you people might find it rather amusing, or not. *shrug*

A final note: Psych = jon, and azngeek = me someone totally different entirely. So yea, just keep on coming back anyways

Posted by psych at August 15th, 2006

Yea, thats right, another post. I think I’m starting to get the hang of this whole school thing. Time has been a bad $%^ to me over the past month. No time for fun stuff from Monday all the way to the awesome evening on Fridays. No TV. No Dota (well yea i managed to sneak some in but where the fun in sneaking some in right?) Anyway, in the past week I’ve managed both a whole 3 hours of paintball awesomeness and a @$#%load of Dota. God I love the people who install W3 on college comps. If I knew who you guys were I would …… be eternally grateful in my own special way. =) So yea Ive got time to post a few more posts now. Posting posts for the sake of posting. Sounds sensible, no? Well yeah and I wanna rant, so.. yeah. Too bad if you wanted to read something insanely insightful.

Just a little story about this little woman I like to call Dumbass Math Teacher. She is from hell. Born and raised there by angry, irritable demons (much like herself). Shes been pissing off all her classes lately with her incessant (immature I might add) complaining. Heres a little tale about her ingenuity.

Class in the pc lab. Shes right in the middle of the room asking everyone to log into the pcs. She goes on to address the invisible kindergarten children in the room,

“Class, do you know how to log into the computers? All you have to do is enter your student ID’s and password and Click On Log In. Remember, if you don’t click on it, you won’t get logged in!”
Like, c’mon lady grow a brain or something. This isnt Somalia you retard. GROW A FREEAKING BRAINN. (no offense to anyone living-doubt it, with relatives, originally from somalia etc etc there. just the first example i thought of. its gdp is as low as hell anyway so….)
Later, (after realizing she didnt know nuts about networking) she asked everyone to pay attention to her while someone went forets help. To help us pay attention we were supposed to turn off our monitors. We did so. She kept waiting and looked kinda pissed. Then kinda burst out,
” I didnt hear a *CLICK!* (while poking an imaginary monitor switch in front of her). When I asked you to turn off *CLICK!* (same poking motion) your monitors, what do you do?(Well she obviously answered her own question) You turn it OFF! *CLICK!* (you know the drill). God that was annoying. The monitors didnt even go *CLICK!*. They made a more delicate yet distinct noise. I’ll post a pic soon. She’s the proud owner of an ample ass. Can’t seem to get anyone to willingly take a pic of her.(Me wanna new phone). But where theres a will theres a way eh. People keep telling me I’m obsessed with her. But I’m not. Honest! I just have nothing better to do with my time. And all my other lecturers rock so she’s officially
THE MEAN HUGEASSED GOAT IM SCAPING.

Hehe. I have time. Ill do the story abit more. It might not be good filler, but it’s filler nonetheless so no complaining.

The nun on duty, Sister Clara, finally summed up enough courage to confront the stranger waiting in the dark at the entrance of the convent. She heard the dry autumn leaves crunching under her heavy soles as she made her way to the entrance guided only by the miniature flashlight she kept for blackouts and other emergencies.

“Hello? May I know who you are, sir?”

“Oh, so you are real. My apologies dear woman, my mind tends to wander at inopportune moments. May I interest you in my plight? I come from a vil-“

“A moment please”

Sister Clara shone the light in the stranger’s direction. The beam allowed her to closely observe the man standing on the other side of the gate. His face glistened in the beam’s presence and looked like it had seen better days; his sunken eyes and scarred skin immediately appealed to Sister Clara’s natural tendency to help the downtrodden. Without thinking and not noticing the glint of triumph cross the stranger’s worn face, she undid her unlocked the one thing keeping the nuns safe from the feral, precarious world.

Until next time

pSyCh

Posted by azngeek at August 13th, 2006

Ok. So you see right, I WAS doing some web-surfing, and THEN I came across some very disturbing comments on spimps.co.nz …. the crazy-ass-mother-fucker. Seriously. I’m going to quote him on something which just absolutely put me in uncontrollable fits of laughter.

“Why would you want her when you can have me?
I’m sexier, more experienced and I can do things with my hips that will make any pedophile cry for joy. ;)” -Spimps-
Like. WTFBBQZOMG …. 0.0. Note, spimps, is a dude, and that was a reply to a dude. Why can’t I be as funny? *sigh*

Azngeek

Posted by azngeek at August 12th, 2006

Bee ba ba ba bop, Bee ba ba ba bop, scibby dooby scibby. Hey non-existent readers. I’ve rediscovered Scatman John - Scatman, the awesometh song. It really is an addictive song. I’ve secrety had it on repeat for the last 12 hours , damn… urm. Yea, it’s an awesometh song. Sooooo what do I crap about now non-existent readers. How about accents. I’m prepared to go through great lengths to make you non-existent people piss yourselves lauging by attempting different accents Going where no dumb ass webmaster has gone before, one small step for the progression of internet entertainment!

Malaysian/Singaporean accent (can’t say three!) -> the recording was crap  but listen to it anyways
British accent (pompous british jackass) -> was pretty good
Aussie accent (Hey neek! *they mean to say nick) prime example click here as well
Kiwi accent (Enough said) ->edit: i was going to do one, but decided against it
Islander/Maori accent also known as the “bro” accent -> was alright
Some random evil accent just because. -> this one is really cool
Still in the midst of recording. Will link to the voice recordings soon! EDIT: They’ve already been linked

EDIT: It has been recorded, but currently the wav. files are too large. Have yet to convert them to mp-trees. Will keep you guys posted on this monumental undertaking of the interweb

ANOTHER EDIT: It’s me behind the recordings. I recorded myself, some people don’t seem to realize this. All of them, that’s me.

Posted by psych at August 12th, 2006

I’m gonna be entertaining you with a story today cos am pretty much out of ideas and the pity I feel for blogs not updated could make Bush grow a brain (oh, no, you didnt!-nigga style with the hand movement and all that) (Yes, I did) See, what I did there was just mind vomit which makes you no smarter and might have just made you dumber. Read the story. You’ll thank me later. (You know you won’t but somehow your eyes seem to
involuntarily skim over the awesometh story below) -

A man dropped his vodka bottle on the curb and muttered a silent profanity to nobody in particular. It rolled down the street and stopped at a junction. He thought of going after it but a chilly breeze forced him instead to reconsider where he was going to spend the night. The bus stop he stayed at the night before reeked of urine and stale vomit. The roof (if you could call it that) was almost falling apart. Trusting his instincts, he made his first step towards the nearest convent.

The Holy House of Heaven was a revered convent, home to a multitude of chaste virgins devoting their lives to God and doing His will on earth. They were a humble and introvert lot and had no interest in worldly things. The only dream they had in life was to please God and aspire to get into His Kingdom. Little did they know that a single visitor at their gates on that fateful night would change their lives forever.

The man made his way to the intimidating gates of the convent and found large, old- fashioned knockers attached to the gates. He gazed at them through the slight drizzle and steeled himself for what he was about to do next. Struggling to lift the heavy brass knockers, he clanged twice and waited eagerly for any response. He could make out somewhat blurry shapes in the distance but didn’t take notice of them. After all, he could easily be setting himself up for disappointment. Could his psyche be playing tricks on him? He sighed, leaned back on the gates and waited uncomplainingly as the rain increased its intensity.

The nun on duty, Sister Clara, finally summed up enough courage to confront the stranger waiting in the dark at the entrance of the convent.
DUM DUMN DUMMMMMM

Its 1.09 now. Just finished a %&^load of assignments. Tired as heck after paintball (my first time, it was awesome). And I Still Managed To Post Something For You Sweet Dudes N Dudettes. May this post not be in vain and may you love it to bits. Nah the main point of the post was so I could include KNOCKERS into my post without seeming like a perv. Heavy Brass Knockers. {Mental picture…} Who knows, I might just continue the story if I wish not to share details of my personal life with complete nonexistensial strangers. Then again I might just forget about it. In any case it took me the better half of an hour and you’d better read it all or else. (Or else I might just hump you. even if you’re a male nonentity)

I just can’t stop the rambling. Ending this now.

Cya folks. This week has been great.

Kickass weekend here I come.

pSyCh

Posted by azngeek at August 7th, 2006

Hey, it’s me again, won’t post for a while,till the next weekend. So yea, thought I might do a quickie before I go off. Psych listed some amazing music tracks, and I began searching around and I found some amazing stuff, with my inherently incredible intelligence. Here’s my list of some 90s tracks, the era of the awesomest music ever. Add a comment if you have some to recommend :

1. Third Eye Blind - Jumper
2. Third Eye Blind - Semi Charmed Life
3. Collective Soul - The World I Know
4. Tal Bachman - She’s So High
5. Dave Matthews Band - Crash Into Me
6. Take That - Back For Good
7. Chumbawumba - Tubthumping
8. Ace of Base - I Saw The Signs

I think that basically concludes my amaza-list for now. Can’t think of anythign else.

Azngeek

Posted by azngeek at August 5th, 2006

So yes, I realize that among you non-existential people and even those that do exist that a lot of incompetence has been seeded among you. Pure utter stupidity, imbecilic in every comprehendable manner and then some. So yes, here’s my guide to not SOUND too stupid in front of well essentially your better half’s parents, key people in your sorry lives (I say sorry lives because you are actually reading my rant, but read on, I ain’t complaining and note how I said SOUND. This guide won’t actually make you any smarter. In fact I feel my IQ dropping as I type it out. So I can only imagine what it does to your IQ non-existential readers)

DoS

1. Compliment the parents on their plcae of dwelling. eg: Oh a wonderful place you have their Mr. and Mrs. X. I can see that Mrs. X has a real eye for detail, and that womanly touch is definitely showcased with the divine arrangements bla bla bla. (Note: Do not compliment Mrs. X too much. Mr. X might get the wrong idea and think you are after his wife and daughter. Definite no no, in case you never noticed)
2. Dress the part. You can dress casually, but in most cases, Bling Bling, doesn’t impress the parents. Seriously. I would know. Or not. Actually I wouldn’t know, I just hate bling. I think it’s extremely stupid and over-rated, and and, I don’t have any fucking bling. Shut up you. eg: Maybe wear a pair of jeans, and a tee shirt if you are a guy, and if you are a girl, maybe some very enticingly mini mini mini short skirt, and and wait, urm… I probably should mention that the Azngeek is a d00d. Soooo, urm, yea… mini short skirt I rike! But I think it doesn’t really impress the parents, it just highlights your assets that the son has invested money and time in to, which at times can scare …. blahhh, gahhh focus focus! Ok fine this would be a guide for d00ds to not sound too stupid. Because I’m a d00d.
3. Remember. After meeting the parents and IF you are lucky enough to be granted permission to take your better half out, always mention a time which you will bring her back by. Eg: “I’ll get her back by 10:30 pm/ or any other time within reason.” and NOTE YOU STUPID MORONIC PEOPLE DON’T ADD STUPID DETAILS LIKE ” I’ll get her back by 10:30 pm because I’d have banged her in the 4ss by then in my car” That would make you sound, urm… yea.. enough said.

Do NotS

1. Make any comments other than the ones above. Because you are stupid. You’ll probably fuck up. Possible scenarios? “Oh yea, urm the food was great, except those peanuts tasted a bit funky. Tasted like someone shoved it up an ass.” or “Your daughter is damn hot. She said we could do it tonight!” (In the second comment, sure the d00d expresses his enthusiasm towards his better half, but in a derogatory manner, and the second part just fucked him up totally. Like I said, you readers, keep your comments to yourself when in front of the parents. Otherwise you’ll shoot yourself in the foot, then dont’ come crying to me. You have been warned)
2. Keep any jokes to yourself. Because you are stupid. Again similar reasons to the above.
3. Show the parents the sexual toys that you intend to experiment out with your better half. That’s wrong and disgusting at many different levels, and I’m beginning to be a bit suspect on why I’m actually typing this non-sensical post.
4. Do not be yourself. You are a moron. Try to be someone else.

And yea, I think that’s pretty much the guide part 1 for now

“Dude. I’ll beat the dude out of you, dude!” - Unknown source

I actually had a bad day and week in fact. FUCK. Bleh. So sue me, if this post sucks. As if I care.