Posted by azngeek at July 29th, 2006

Yes, about the web lingo update. I think it has to be for another time when I feel less inspired with collosally amazing ideas. Was doing some maths, and then went to wash up, and it came to me. Like someone or SOMETHING WANTED me to write about this. The secrets of some anicent force which has given me no option, an ultimatum to impart to you, my non existential readers these hidden bits of knowledge that men all over the globe and than some have gone stark raving mad in their quest to discover IT. Yes. This is a COMPREHENSIVE. THE COMPREHENSIVE ULTIMATE SUPER DUPER QUADRUPLE TRIPLE X MEGA guide to telling whether you are a Bad Boy Geek. What is a Bad Boy Geek pray tell? You have much to learn young grasshopper, and for being non-existential you have even more to learn. But yes, I the Azngeek, will impart to you this knowledge. (I know i’m god damn repetitive and redundant. Shut up and read you moron and stop questioning. You are after all non-existential)

Lets start with the basics. The definitions.

Geek : A term similar to nerd, but slightly less pejorative in tone.

Bad : Having undesirable qualities, OR intense!!!111oneoneoneoneeleven!

Boy :”Boy (I Need You)” was the second single from Mariah Carey’s 12th album, Charmbracelet.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boy_(I_Need_You)

Oh crap. That’s not quite right is it. Meh. Just read on. So yes. Essentially, a Bad Boy Geek, is a Geek who is a bad boy, IE a Geek who is INTENSE (HOW THE FUCK CAN A GEEK HAVE UNDESIRABLE QUALITIES. EVERYONE LOVES GEEKS. CHICKS LOVE GEEKS. PARENTS LOVE GEEKS. TEACHERS LOVE GEEKS. EMPLOYERS LOVE GEEKS - THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY A GEEK CAN HAVE EVEN THE REMOTEST UNDESIRABLE QUALITY FUCK YEA!) Ok. Where was I. Oh yes, Bad Boy Gee -> Intense Geek. So the 7 Tell-Tale Signs You are a Bad Boy Geek are as follow.

  1. First and foremost. You have done some gaming of the few great games. IE warcraft, starcraft, counterstrike, half life, age of empires, red alert. One or more would qualify you for this criteria. AND if you have what I like calling THE-RAGE. It’s likely you are a bad boy geek. An example of THE-RAGE : While playing counter strike, you get shot in the head, as soon as you see someone, you bang your keyboard and scream constant profanities. Bang your head on the keyboard. Scream more profanities %^$*&%&*(* and then some more profanities. Then when it happens again you are soooooooo fucked up, you stab someone. Actually you don’t. You just repeat everythign before the stabbing. I just thought stabbing would be cool. By the way, this is one of the most INTENSE characterisitcs of the Bad Boy Geek. The women find it desirable, extremely desirable. I would know. That’s why i’ve had like 12474281596796721057102973408725 friends who are female (whispers* times zero : D)
  2. Secondly, you have the UNCANNY abilitiy (like wolverine, but better) to be able to sit at the computer for at 5 hours or more, and have your sweaty palms tightly gripping that mouse on that black sexy sleek mousepad of yours which are designed for “gamers” which helps you perform 10.956% better at the previously mentioned games. Actually you just need to be able to sit at the computer for 5 hours or more. That’s pretty much it. Meh. But yea. I thought I should be a little more descriptive an illustrate to you a prime example of THE BAD BOY GEEK which soooooooooo isn’t me. I’m just a geek, not yet a bad boy geek.
  3. Thirdly, you have glasses which always slide down your nose, revealing your sinisterly INTENSE eyes full of passion for the debates of technological marvel. Such as the debate of which is better ball vs optical vs laser mouses. OR OR whhhyyyyyy the greens are better than the blues hyuck hyuck. Fuck. I mean amds are better than intel or vice versa. I probably lost most of my readers back there, but meh. Basically ANY person who argues about something like that, are likely to be a BAD BOY GEEK
  4. Fourth, you have your own web page where you type at your keyboard. The pitiful bastards. FUCK YOU GUYS AHHAH. NO LIFE WHATSO- urm… damn… forget I said that… I mean you guys are so cool
  5. Fifth, you always mention school work, or work in general because you are so passionate about it, or you are an anal retentive mother fucker that is just well… an anal rententive mother fucker. Enough said.
  6. Sixth, you understand the difference between working with higher resolution screens compared to lower ones. You are an advocate of high resolution screens for maximum productivity and seriously see the undeniable benefit behind the benefits of high resolution screens.
  7. Seven, repeat number one to six.
  8. I’m so cool. You need to worhship me. You are not worthy non-existential readers (I just realized you could be a girl to be a Bad Boy Geek. Go figure. I’m a sexist.Shut.up.)

If you score 4 and above out of 8 you are A BAD BOY GEEK!

And yea. Heh. I actually had more than 7 on my list. Woops. And yes. I just read through my list, and urm. Yeah. I’m not a Bad Boy Geek. Or maybe I am. You lie! All lies. Gahhhh. Fuck you. Fuck you too. *punches self* hah take that. That actually hurt bitch! *punches self back* That’s right. Fuck you. Fuck you too. DIE DIE DIE. DIE DOT COM MOTHER FUCKE- Oh. Heh. I’m still at this write post page. I didn’t realize. Urm. I soooo don’t have an alternate personality. Azngeek. *clicks publish*

EDIT : Might I add that in NOOOOO way whatsoever am i referring to myself. Really. Really. Orly?Yarly.